Her Wolf

Chapter 6

“Dear Diary,

It’s been an entire two days since I’ve heard anything from Ryan. We had an amazing night together but then I woke up to an empty bed with no messages from him. It’s like he vanished into thin air and I’m not sure what to do. The longer he’s gone, the farther we get behind on our project and I can’t find it in me to press on without him.

Did he decide he didn’t want to work alongside someone he slept with? Was I merely a conquest for him and now that he’s conquered, he doesn’t need me anymore? There are so many things crossing my mind and I’m finding it difficult to sort them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a stage five clinger. I’ve never found any appeal in relationships, or needing to know exactly where my partner is at all times, I just want answers. I want to know why he snuck out in the middle of the night. Why he had the time to return my car, but didn’t feel the need to leave me a message.

Anything could have happened and his inability to leave me in the know isn’t only rude, it’s unprofessional.

I’ve spent hours going over in my head what I could have done that could have driven Ryan away and I’ve come up with nothing. I’ve chosen to keep myself buried in work as a way to keep from thinking about it too much, but my mind keeps going back to him. Maybe the hold he has on me is tighter than I had imagined.

I care about him and as each minute goes by, that realization dawns on me even more.

Jess hasn’t been able to come up with any leads from the list of Alan’s I gave her and without the backing of Ryan and the foundation, which I don’t have while he’s away, there isn’t much I can do. Even if I found out who the developer is right now, there’s no way I could tackle the issue on my own.

This project has become very near and dear to my heart, even more than it was initially and it’s crushing to think that one night of passion could be the reason it all crumbles down.

I keep telling myself to call him, just to see if he will answer his phone. Leaving a message isn’t that big of a deal, right? I don’t want to look desperate or clingy. If only I had something solid on paper that I could use as an excuse to call him.

I shouldn’t even bother. If he doesn’t have the respect to call me or at least tell me he needs time away, he doesn’t deserve any compassion from me. Mutual understanding, respect, feelings and general decency is a two way street.

He’s made his decision and proven that the only thing he needed was a fat check and a romp in the sheets to get rid of his built up frustrations. He got what he needed out of me.

And now he’s gone.

Asshole.”

The sound of a knock coming from the outside of Catherine’s office door caught her attention and she swiftly closed her journal and shoved it into the bottom drawer of her desk. Somehow, out of all the years that she had been in that same office, her diary writing had managed to go undetected. She liked it that way.

“It’s always nice to have something for you and only you,” she said to herself.

“What is it, Jess?” Catherine asked. “Aren’t you all supposed to be on your lunch break and leaving me to work?”

Her voice sounded more aggravated than she intended it to be.

“It’s not Jess,” Ryan’s voice echoed from the other side of the closed door. “I ran into her in the lobby downstairs and she said that you were in your office. Can I come in?”

Catherine remained quiet as her eyes locked on her office doors. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap and her heart began beating a mile a minute. She was sure it was beating so hard he could hear it on the other side of the door.

Confrontation wasn’t something Catherine enjoyed on a day to day basis. The way she liked to conduct her business was with as little confrontation as possible, she was the type of person who always wanted things to go smoothly and now she was faced with it head on.

“I’m going to take your silence as an invitation,” Ryan said just before he cautiously opened the door and stepped inside. “Hi Catherine.”

Silence.

The door clicked shut behind Ryan and though Catherine was looking towards the window, she knew it meant he had cut them off from the rest of the office and wrapped them in privacy.

“I know you’re upset, but if you’ll just let me explain,” Ryan urged, stepping forth.

Silence.

“Okay, Catherine, look,” she could hear him shuffling around the office. “I can’t explain to you exactly what happened, but I can tell you I wouldn’t have left your bed if I didn’t have a choice. I was so wrapped up in you I didn’t even remember what day it was until I woke up in the middle of the night and caught a glimpse of the calendar. I didn’t have any time to waste; I had to leave right away.”

Catherine folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair that was still facing the window. It was like she wasn’t listening to a word Ryan was saying; when in actuality she was dissecting each and every word.

“You’re giving me the silent treatment, Catherine?” He huffed, obviously irritated. “Are we not too grown up for that? I’m pretty sure we are capable of talking this out. That’s how we’re able to move past things.”

The tension in the air thickened as Catherine slowly turned around in her chair to face Ryan for the first time since she had fallen asleep in his arms. His hair was messy, his clothes were disheveled and his complexion was pale, clammy and had a hint of gray. Catherine’s mouth fell open slightly and she stood from her chair, assessing Ryan’s appearance more than she had initially.