You Make Me Whole

Chapter 10

The months passed with ease. Ray’s belly began to swell, as did various other parts of her body, all of which her mother insisted was normal. Carter remained by her side to help her through everything, and it didn’t take long for Ray to await the arrival of their son with uncontained excitement.

The scan had confirmed the baby was a boy, but Ray had known all along, with the mystic power that all mothers seem to possess.

“I always knew you were a girl,” her mother had reminisced fondly when Ray spoke of her prediction. “Every night I dreamed about the little dresses you would wear, and how I would style your hair. It’s instinct.”

Ray voiced her concerns to Annabelle about losing touch with everyone as her energy for nights out had ran low. She knew their lives were incompatible now. They were young, carefree, and weren’t going to change their lives just because Ray’s had, which she understood, although it often made her feel down.

That is, until she came home one day, and the group was waiting for her. Annabelle had organized a booze-free baby shower, and everyone had showed up. Balloons and confetti decorated the apartment, and everyone had brought gifts, while they asked Ray all about her pregnancy. If they were feigning their interests, they would all easily win Oscars. It gave Ray the final lift she needed to know that she was now on the right path. She had her friends, her family, and a wonderful man by her side, leaving her no reason to believe she couldn’t do this.

A week before Ray’s due date, she and Carter were adding the finishing touches to the nursery. Ed was an avid painter, and had created a woodland scene across the walls. Thick trees covered every wall, with various different woodland creatures, all with giant, shiny eyes, and ecstatic smiles. Ray and Carter had bought dark green furniture to match the design. They loved the finished look. Just as they marveled at the imaginary world that lay before them, Ray received her first contractions. She doubled over in pain, having never quite felt pain like it. Carter, held her by her sides as she writhed in pain.

“This is it, baby,” Carter said. “His room’s finished and now he can’t wait to come and play.” His sweet attempt to make Ray feel better was quickly overlooked as she felt the cold embrace of panic washing over her. Suddenly, all the preparation she’d made felt futile, and she felt completely out of her depth. Carter said every encouraging, calming phrase in the book, until Ray had calmed herself down, or at least enough to focus.

Carter called her parents as he drove Ray to the hospital. Tanya nearly broke his eardrum by screaming down the phone in excitement.

“Ed! Ed! He’s coming, the baby’s coming!” she repeatedly shouted as Carter tried to make sense out of her. He started to see where Ray got her anxiety. He smiled to himself, wondering what combination of characteristics from both his and Ray’s family the baby would inherit. He couldn’t wait to see.

The birth was a long process. Ray took 12 hours to become fully dilated, and the birth itself wasn’t the sweet, beautiful miracle that is often portrayed in movies. The pain was excruciating, and the amount of blood made it look like a scene from a horror movie.

None of it mattered, though, when Ray held Harry Edward Richardson in her arms. He was named after the restaurant where Carter and Ray had met, and after Ray’s father. He had Ray’s eyes, and Carter’s wide, soothing grin. Ray couldn’t get over the connection she felt to the boy. She hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him since the nurses had placed him in her arms. All this time, she had though of him as a new, overwhelming stress in her life. She had been scared stupid over how much of a huge responsibility having a child was, how demanding they were, all of it preparing her to see the whole motherhood thing as a drag.

Right now, the fragile little body in her arms was none other than a gift. He brought her so much joy simply from lying there in her arms; a kind of happiness that she had never felt before, nor that she thought was possible. It was the sense of finally feeling complete, of having a purpose, someone to prove herself to in a way that didn’t feel like a chore. She had spent months worrying about all the excitement that she would be missing out on, only to realize that life had never seemed so exciting until right now.

All of her friends came to visit her in the hospital, although not all in one go, but Annabelle was present for every visit. She had taken to Harry, and also seemed to catch on to the idea that growing up wasn’t as terrifying as it seemed.

“I think I want one,” she crooned, as she rocked Harry gently from side to side.

Ray chuckled softly, still beyond exhausted from the birth. “It’s worth the wait I promise, but don’t rush, honey. Wait until you find a guy you deserve who can help you share the load. I don’t know what I would have done without Carter.”

Carter had been unable to wipe the grin off his face ever since Harry was born. He barely left Ray’s side while she recovered, only leaving to excitedly take new visitors to see Harry in the room they kept him in with the other newborns.

He carried Harry like he was made of glass when it was time for them all to go home. The apartment felt oddly quiet after days worth of constant hustle and bustle from the hospital. Phones ringing, babies crying, kids screaming…now it was all gone. It was a welcome change. The three of them had been inseparable for days, but this was the first time they truly felt like they could spend some time together. They showed Harry around the apartment, not caring that he couldn’t understand a single word. They were both too caught up in picturing all the memories that they had yet to create within those very walls.

As Harry was laid down to sleep in his new woodland nursery, Carter and Ray sat on their couch in silence for several minutes. They often looked to each other, each showing expressions of pure bliss, but without the ability to put into words how they felt. They eventually said it all with a kiss, and held each other tightly.

“You know,” Ray whispered, breaking the silence, “there does seem to be one thing that isn’t quite right.”

“Really?” he replied, his face falling slightly. “What’s that?”

“I’m a little jealous that I don’t share a surname with my two favorite guys.”

“Yeah?” he said with a cheeky grin. “Well, there’s always ways to fix that.”

“I guess I could get my name changed. I might as well. Everyone thinks we’re married already.”