You Make Me Whole

She hummed to herself while chopping up vegetables for a curry she was making. Her cooking skills were diabolical, but she found herself capable of following a recipe online with ease, even finding herself enjoying it to some extent.

A soft knock at the door disturbed her thoughts, she turned the stove down to low so the curry wouldn’t burn, and went to answer the door. Her mouth fell open as she opened the door to Doug, holding a bouquet of roses.

“Erm…” she was at a loss for words, unable to do anything but stare at him, dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry to just drop by like this, Ray. I lost your number when I got a new phone. May I come in?” She managed a nod, and stood back to let him pass, already feeling like an idiot for saying yes.

There was an awkward silence as she shut the door behind him, already wishing she’d asked him to leave, but forced to admit she was a slave to her curiosity.

“These…these are for you,” he shyly passed her the roses. He saw the look of confusion on Ray’s face as she took them from him. “I was on my way over here, and I passed the shop. It was kind of a spontaneous thing. I just wanted to…” he trailed off, as if unsure of the motivation behind his own actions.

“They’re beautiful,” she said as she set them down on the counter. She knew she was going to have to be direct with him, otherwise it looked like they were just going to stand here making awkward small talk all night. “What are you doing here, Doug?”

“I just…I didn’t say what I wish I had said when I saw you today. I’ve wanted to get in touch with you for ages. When I saw you today, I was totally caught off guard, and your friend was there…I mean, you saw me, I was a rambling idiot.” He started to pace around the apartment nervously, fidgeting with his hands. Ray waited patiently for him to talk, but the longer he took, the more she thought she should shoot him down now before he embarrassed himself. Again, however, a tiny part of her, the selfish part she was trying desperately to maintain these days, wanted to hear him say lovely things to her like he used to.

“Doug…”

“I miss you, Ray. I was an idiot to mess things up between us like I did. I’ve hated myself for it. We were so great together, and I had to go and act like a di*k.” He came right up to her, taking her hands in his. She didn’t stop him, the smoothness of his skin feeling so familiar and comforting to her.

“I want to make it right, Ray. I want what we had, but I want to be better. You deserve better, so much better from me. I just need another chance. What do you think? Do you think we could give it another shot?”

After her moment of weakness, she snapped out of her trance, realizing just how wrong this all was. She had weakened to hearing someone say such heartfelt things about her, but it hadn’t necessarily been relevant that the person who said them was Doug. It wasn’t him she missed, but rather the confidence from knowing that someone was with her just for her.

“I’m pregnant, Doug.” She had taken a moment to think about how to let him down gently. She wanted to tell him sorry, and that it was really sweet of him to think of her in that way after all this time. But she knew that saying anything like that would just encourage him to argue back, to try and convince her otherwise. Telling him she was pregnant had no comeback, really.

Needless to say, he dropped her hands from his as if she was on fire. His eyes widened in horror. She watched with faint amusement as he struggled to get anything more than sounds out of his mouth, while pacing frantically around the apartment.

“Are you with the guy?” he finally asked. “You know, the father of the-” he pointed at her belly rather than finishing his sentence.

“Sort of…it’s complicated. Either way I’m not thinking about anything else right now. I’m sorry.”

The tension was made worse by Carter making his way through the front door. His welcoming smile slowly slid from his face as his eyes met with Doug’s, and then Ray’s, piecing together the situation.

“This is the guy?” Doug asked, pointing at Carter without even looking at him.

“This is, Carter, yes,” Ray answered with a clipped ton. “He’s the father.”

“May I ask what’s going on here?” Carter tried to keep his voice stern, but Ray could hear his nervousness.

“This is Doug, Carter. We used to date. He came by to see me. He didn’t know about…our situation.” Another few awkward moments passed, none of them knowing what to say next. Carter was still only halfway through the door, one hand still on the doorknob. Ray stared at her feet, considering faking sickness as an excuse to run out of the room to avoid the whole thing. She wanted Doug to leave without her having to kick him out, but he just kept looking at Ray. She could feel his eyes burning into her, as if he was waiting for her to tell him it was all a joke.

“Are you happy, Ray?” he eventually croaked. She raised an eyebrow at him, embarrassed that he was asking about her happiness when Carter was stood right next to her.

“Yes,” she replied, hoping it was enough to dismiss the situation.

“I just mean…you seem so different,” he continued. “Everyone knows you as fun-loving, parties-all-night, Ray. This isn’t you.”

“Doug, stop.”

“It’s not, Ray! I know this isn’t what you want, this is everyone you stood against.”

“I need you to leave.”

“I can be there for you, Ray. I’ll even be there for the kid. Think about all the fun we had together. We can still have all of that.”

“Buddy, she asked you to leave. It’s time to go.” Carter left the door open as he joined Ray by her side.

“Don’t talk to me like you know!” Doug shouted. “I was talking to Ray!”

“And she asked you to leave. Come on, it’s time to go.” He protectively put his around Ray. Doug looked so angry he looked like he could burst into flames at any second.