Work Hard, Love Harder

Chapter 4

Thing is Zoe was awesome at flirting. Awesome. Just as long as it wasn’t serious or it was a hustle. She could schmooze anyone, anywhere, at any time, but if she liked someone for more than just their thinnest outer layer, then she fu*ked up. Badly.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, just go over there and do your thing!” Juliana groaned and tossed back her drink. “Last week it took you a grand total of ten minutes to get that short hipster spun around your little finger. I don’t get why you’re being such a chicken about this?”

“But this matters, Ju! I like Femi!”

“So?”

“So! So, I don’t want him to think I’m tryna hustle him!”

“But…you are a hustler.”

“Shut up, no I’m not. I’m just doing what I need to do, thank you much.”

“Then go over there and inform Prince Akeem of your need and desire to climb him like a tree.”

“I told you-”

“And have his physically perfect babies.”

Zoe pouted and stared morosely into her drink as Femi laughed with his friends on the other side of the room. Juliana rolled her eyes and clapped Zoe on the shoulder. “Oh, cheer up. Why don’t you just pretend he’s your latest mark, butter him up and take him home. Once he’s had a taste, I bet he’ll keep coming back for more!”

“It won’t work. It doesn’t matter if I tell people I’m a freakin’ astronaut or a horror writer if I’m never gonna see them again! Femi already knows me! He knows I’m just a stupid scam artist who happens to be attending college!”

“Well, that’s good news then!” Juliana beamed. “No need to bring out shady moves! Just be yourself!”

Zoe sent her a filthy look. “If I thought that would actually work, I would be over there right now giving it my best. But last time I checked, myself wasn’t all that interesting. Not to a guy like him.”

Juliana slapped her hand to her chest in mock outrage. “Are you actually telling me that I would ever be friends with someone uninteresting? Why don’t you just stab me in the heart!”

“Drama queen,” Zoe huffed.

“Chicken.”

“Am not. I just… don’t know what to say to him.”

“You?” Juliana gasped, “not knowing what to say? Call the press!”

“You know, this is not helping,” Zoe groused.

“Fine. If you won’t go ever there, then I will. Something that tall and muscular should never go to waste.”

Zoe yanked Juliana back by her stupid bolero jacket and punched her in the side as soon as she was within reach. “Don’t ya fu*king dare!”

“Then you’d better get your butt over there, because in exactly five minutes I’ll be making my move, whether you’ve grown a pair or not!” Juliana hissed at her, rubbing her ribs.

“I hate you,” Zoe grumbled, and finished her drink in one too-big gulp that made her cough. But one look from Juliana, as well as a significant glance at her watch, made Zoe slip off the stool, check that she hasn’t dribbled anything on her shirt, and make her way towards Femi and his friends.

But just as she was coming up with something to say, Femi stood up and came towards her with his long legs closing the distance long before Zoe had decided on a decent opening. She was fu*ked.

“Oh, hi, Zoe,” Femi said kindly as he spotted her. “I didn’t know you came here too.”

“I, uh,” Zoe said stupidly. “No, I… I mean, yeah, I come here sometimes.” Smooth.

Femi chuckled, but in a way that didn’t feel like he was laughing at Zoe. “Awesome. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink,” he said, and headed towards the bar. Zoe only barely managed not to blurt out “why?” But apparently she did have some sense, and she called it a win that she avoided looking this particular horse in the mouth.

“What are you drinking?” Femi asked as he flagged down the bartender. Zoe opened her mouth and closed it again because Cosmopolitan sounded really… uncool somehow. Which was a stupid thought because she was drinking them proudly and openly not five minutes earlier.

“Beer okay?” Femi continued, and Zoe nodded dumbly. She really disliked beer, but she just felt so out of place and nervous that she couldn’t seem to make herself say what she wanted. She was busy cursing herself when Femi handed her a drink. A Cosmo.

“Wha-” she said, almost dropping the drink as she looked up at Femi who just shrugged.

“I asked the bartender what you usually have. You weren’t exactly jumping for joy when I said beer,” Femi explained, sipping his own pint.

Zoe blinked a few times and then groaned with frustration at her annoying awkwardness. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just… not great at this.”

“What, talking?” Femi asked, and Zoe was getting ready to desperately backpedal when Femi winked at her.

“Oh, you asshole,” Zoe said and poked Femi in the ribs. “You just let me stand here and tie myself in knots! Thanks a lot! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go find a rock to crawl under. It’s been fun,” she drawled and turned to leave, face burning.

“Hey, hey, wait. I wasn’t trying to make fun of you, I swear.” Femi’s hand was warm on Zoe’s arm, and she sighed and let herself be stopped. She turned to look at Femi again cautiously, ready to bolt if this got any more embarrassing. “It’s… kinda sweet, actually.”

“Sweet?” Zoe asked with a cringe. “How the hell do you call this train wreck sweet?”

Femi rolled his eyes, but he was grinning widely. “Zoe, I’ve been waiting for you to use your smooth pick-up lines on me for ages now. The fact that you’re all tongue-tied and weird about it is… well, it’s adorable, frankly.”

Zoe wanted the floor to swallow her up. “Oh, God,” she groaned, hiding her eyes behind her hand.

Chuckling again, Femi gently pried her hand away and coaxed Zoe to look at him. “Hey, look, I’m gonna make this easy for you. I’m free tomorrow, so I’m taking you out on a date. I’ll pick you up at five, wear something you like, and we’ll go for pizza. Deal?”

Nodding dumbly, Zoe mostly just stared as Femi winked at her again and sauntered back to his friends. When Zoe got back to Juliana, she was still in kind of a daze, and she was still not entirely sure she wasn’t dreaming when Femi knocked on her door the next day while she was dressed in her most relaxed jeans and t-shirt, the very opposite of her usual socialite persona, and got a kiss on the cheek and a smile before they went.

*****

“Where are your books?” Femi asked. The surprise in his voice only lasted a second, as the realization that he’d been duped dumped over his head like a bucket of ice water. He looked down at Zoe and sighed. “We’re not studying today, are we?”