When Love’s In Fashion

*****

“Oh my god.” Elmira stood in the doorway of the bedroom. She hadn’t really been of mind to give it a proper look before. There were things laying everywhere that would make her mother blush, including a bottle of massage oil still open with half its contents squirted out onto the shirt on Sven’s floor that it happened to land on.

 “Sven, what did we do?”

Sven snickered. “You don’t remember?”

“I remember parts. But they don’t make much sense.”

“What we actually did doesn’t make much sense, either.” Sven walked past her and started to tidy up.

 “You wanted to use some cl*t sensitizer but I was afraid you were so drunk that you’d regret it in the morning if we had full penetrative s*x so I suggested the Spank Me Paddle instead, and then you tried to tie me up because you thought it would, and I quote, ‘make you look like a pretty pretty present, Sven!’ but we couldn’t quite manage the coordination for that. So then I think I sucked you while you were lying wrong-end-up on the bed – really glad I got that painting mounted, by the way, that would have been down for sure – until you decided you wanted to try something you saw in a porn – which you swore you’d give me the link – and ended up giving yourself a thigh cramp. Then we just, you know, fell asleep like normal because in the end we can’t escape our true boring vanilla natures.”

Elmira had her hands cover her face. She stayed like that, still and slightly mortified, until Sven pried them down.

“It was good, Elmira. It was fun.” Sven was smiling so gently with his dimples deep and his eyes so kind. Elmira hadn’t known he had dimples! Now how was she supposed to resist him?

Elmira just wasn’t usually the aggressor in relationships, to bring new things up.

And to know they tried some things Elmira had been wanting to do and they went so horribly….

Yeah. Mortification. Just what she needed on top of the hangover.

Sven wrapped his arms around her, like he knew just what’s going through Elmira’s mind.

“I like you. Go lay down on the couch and watch some immensely boring style show while I put the sheets in the wash and clean up in here some.”

“I’ll help-” Elmira said, though it’s the last thing she felt like doing.

“Nope.” Sven gave her a little shove. “I don’t think you’re used to drinking so much even though you just graduated college. Go recover.”

It was a flimsy excuse but Elmira allowed herself to be pushed out of the room.

*****

Elmira napped for another couple of hours. When she woke up, she could hear the sound of Sven hoovering and the smell of dinner.

Her stomach growled properly this time. Her headache was down to a faint throb at her temples.

“Hey, sleeping beauty.” Sven stood in the doorway, watching her with a smile. “Want me to draw you a bath?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Elmira asked.

“Because I was taught to show kindness to the infirm,” Sven said. He didn’t even have to move away to duck the pillow Elmira threw at her, since it fell short, way short of the mark.

“Because I hate seeing you miserable and I feel bad that I’m the one who let you lose on the open bar on your first night out as an adult.”

“You-” Elmira’s jaw dropped open, because she hadn’t remembered that until Sven said it but suddenly the memories were rushing back. Elmira was not even sure she had made it to double digits, but so many in the span of an hour did her in.

 “I hate you.”

“Would you hate me less if I let you use the last of my favorite bath bombs?”

“… Maybe,” Elmira said.

*****

The bath was wonderful. Sven made the water the perfect temperature, lit a few candles, put on some music at a low volume, and then got the fu*k out to leave Elmira to enjoy it all in peace.

She still felt a little bit lousy but she had accepted that it was a fate that she probably wouldn’t shake without another solid night of sleep. She put the same comfy clothes back on and went to find Sven in the kitchen. She walked up behind him and put her arms around Sven’s middle, her cheek against Sven’s back.

“I don’t hate you.”

It’s a ‘thank you’ and an ‘I like you too’ and a ‘I really appreciate you not making this weird’ all wrapped up in one.

Sven reached down and covered Elmira’s arms with one of his own, like he was trying to press the hug in closer.

“I’m glad. I’d be sad if you hated me.”

Elmira smiled and kissed the nape of Sven’s neck, where the hair was short and tickled her nose then she pulled away.

“Hey,” Sven said. “Where you going?”

“To play Fallout 4,” Elmira said. “While you make my dinner. Because – you let me lose on the bar.”

The argument immediately died on Sven’s tongue and he sighed.

“Emotional manipulation isn’t nice, Elmira.”

“Open bar!” Elmira shouted back, settling into the best couch spot and turning the game on. She could definitely milk this for the rest of the day, at least.

*****

Sven insisted they go for the Adrienne after party, maybe wrangle some interviews there. Elmira wasn’t ready to socialize but this was her job and she understood that she couldn’t just blow it off.

“I promise we’ll just go, talk to some people, then come back here and you can sleep all night.”

Elmira snorted, “Or, I could go to my hotel and sleep.”

“Now why would you wanna go and do that huh?” Sven almost sounded offended and Elmira laughed.

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t actually live here?”

“I thought you liked it here!”

“I do!”

“So?!?”

“Okay let’s do this right? Let’s go to this after party and then after, we’ll figure out where everyone’s gonna sleep huh?”

“Fine.”

Elmira could not believe that Sven was actually sulking. She sighed inwardly, and walked past him toward the car. He would just have to get over it because she wasn’t about to start coddling him. Begin as you mean to go on right?

Wait.

What?

Go on with what?

Elmira was too hung over for this sh*t.

*****

Elmira couldn’t remember the last time she had felt underdressed. Probably, she decided, as she took in the black marble room full of pea-cocking members of the fashion industry, because she had repressed that memory.

She had worn a suit. In fact, Elmira had changed out of the pajama and hoodie combo she’d been in all day into something more “formal”, in accordance with the invitation; a dark blue one-button jacket, a matching vest, flat-front slacks, and a black tie…all of which actually belonged to Sven since she had no – clean – clothes at his house. The jacket was a bit small for her around the bust and the vest left nothing to the imagination. It had looked very chic and edgy when she’d put it on, and Sven’s whistle had put the last stamp of approval on it. But maybe it was inappropriate for this occasion?