What The Heart Wants

Jackson told her about his life growing up with Nick and a bunch of other friends. They got into boosting radios at an early age, which soon escalated into entire cars. He began simple stuff at a shop he didn’t know was a chop shop until he was already a few years into it. The owner taught him everything about cars and before long he could take cars apart and put them back together again on his own. When he was ready to go legit, legal money made it impossible for him to keep his own body shop afloat, so he went back to stealing cars. It wasn’t a glamorous life that he could brag about, but he had more experience than most mechanics and got paid way better than them too.

Paula couldn’t help but remember Rebecca’s words calling Jackson a liar and a con. Technically, he wasn’t a liar anymore since he was being honest with her. She couldn’t tell for sure how truthful he was being and if it was because the conversation was protected or he really just wanted her to know. The thoughts circling her mind were so confusing that she didn’t know what to believe.

Jackson could read the conflict in Paula’s eyes and begun to wonder if he’d shared with her too much too soon. He opted to change the subject off him to her. “So, why don’t you tell me about yourself, Ms. Maxwell? Why did you become a lawyer and what’s your end game?”

Paula laughed at him using her terminology but still answered his question. “Well, I grew up not too far from here in Cable City. It was rough and the only way out was to go to school. I loved the debate team, so I chose to become a lawyer. It was hard since I had to support myself through college, but I did it and I’ve been working at Clementine since I graduated. The end game is ultimately to open up my own firm, but you know how that goes.”

“No, I don’t,” he said honestly. “I won’t presume that running an auto body shop is anything like running a law firm.”

“But it is when you think about it,” she corrected him softly. “You have to build a base of clients who trust you to do your job and who count on you to be there for them at any given time. We both handle contracts and fix the problems our clients face. I’d say they’re more alike than any other occupational comparison.”

“Well, when you put it like that, you’re right,” he agreed. “How close do you think you are until you reach that goal of yours?”

“I’d say I’m a few years away. I still have to work on the networking side of things. If I were to strike it out on my own, I wouldn’t have any clients that would follow me without the machine backing me.”

“How do you know that? Have you ever asked any of them if they would?” he questioned her apprehension to building her dream.

“Well, no, that would be unprofessional.” Paula laughed the suggestion off.

“Don’t laugh. Is that the only reason you haven’t started your own firm? Is it because you’re afraid that the clients someone else brought to you won’t come along? Why can’t you just do it and go get your own clients?” Jackson was stunned that she hadn’t taken that leap of faith in herself.

“It’s not like that at all,” Paula found herself getting defensive. “I’m sure the clients I helped bring in would come with me, I just want a large enough cushion before I jump into anything like that.”

“Sounds like you’re scared to me, but it’s whatever. It’s your dream, right?” Jackson shrugged his shoulders. “I shouldn’t care about it so much if you don’t. I mean we barely know each other anyway.”

The change in his demeanor made Paula nervous. She cared what he thought about her, and right now she sensed that he thought she was full of sh*t.

“I’m going to do it!” she slammed her hand on the table.

“That’s it!” His eyes grew wide. “Do you feel that surge? That defiant indignation to prove me wrong? Do you feel how alive your spirit was when you thought I second guessed you achieving your goals? That’s how you should talk about your dreams. You’re so much luckier than I am. You had a legit start so it’s easy for you to make that transition. I’m used to fast money and fast cars. I didn’t want to take the time to build the life I wanted. But if I had your clean record then I’d be on it like a fire was burning in my gut. That fire you feel burning in you right now, keep that close to you. Always think of it when you’re putting all of those hours in working to build someone else’s dream law firm. Think of it when you land another million-dollar client to someone else’s law firm. I felt your drive. When you fought for me that first day and when you stood up for your dream just now. I felt it. I just wish you could.”