Throw Him My Way

She sighed against him as she felt his arms around her, and when she pulled away, she rested her forehead against his.

“You’re back. You’re really back,” she said, and she felt him sigh.

“I am. We’ll talk. Mom?”

“On her way,” said Heidi.

He looked at her.

“I don’t know how much of what I remember is real. How much of it is real?”

Heidi smiled.

“If you remember it, it’s all real. It’s real to you. It’s real to me.”

Christian nodded, and his eyes closed again.

Heidi had to fight a moment of blind panic as she watched his eyes close.

“I won’t leave,” said Christian, but the efforts had already tired him out.

Heidi didn’t move her hand from his, though, and she felt his fingers move again.

When Gina came in, she got up. But his hand tightened on hers.

“Your mom is here. Don’t overdo it, Christian. I’ll be right outside,” promised Heidi, and watched those eyes open again.

She saw that light in them when he saw her, and she saw those lips curve in a smile when he saw Gina.

“You bad, silly boy. You’re in big trouble,” said Gina, and her eyes shone with tears, too.

“I know,” said Christian, before he was enveloped in a warm and gentle hug.

Heidi slipped away, slowly, and made her way to the cafeteria to get herself something cool to drink.

She needed it.

Christian was awake.

She could hardly believe it.

What did it mean for her? He remembered some of what she’d told him. He remembered how she’d sung to him.

Heidi wasn’t sure what to make of that. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, really.

Did he remember everything?

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there when she felt somebody else sitting next to her. She looked up and saw Gina.

The joy she’d felt when she’d felt his fingers moving was plain on Gina’s face.

Heidi smiled.

“He’s come back to us,” said Gina, and this time, neither of them needed to hold it together for anybody’s sake.

They clung to each other, and wept in sheer relief.

*****

“Another day, Dale. I just… Look, he just came out of the coma. I need another day. Please.”

Heidi stood in the hospital and begged for a few more hours to make one of the most important decisions in her life.

“Thank you!” she said, finally, ready to weep again, this time from both relief and frustration.

She felt like she’d been crying for the last hour. At least she had Mrs. Spinelli and Bobby there, too.

“There, you don’t have to be strong all the time, my girl. He’s awake now, isn’t he?”

Heidi sniffled a bit, and let herself lean on Mrs. Spinelli for just a moment.

Just for a moment, she told herself. She needed it.

“Bobby…”

“Taken care of, Heidi. Dogs are all fine. Juno is a little off, I took her to the vet. Nothing much, just feeling her age a bit. But she’s getting all her tests done, just in case. Everything’s good.”

Heidi nodded gratefully.

Bobby was a gift, and one she really needed at the moment.

“Heidi, Christian is asking for you.”

Heidi looked up and saw Gina. She left Gina and Mrs. Spinelli, who had become pretty good friends, to catch up with each other and went to see Christian.

He was awake. She could still hardly believe it.

He couldn’t stay up for long stretches, and he was definitely tired, but he was awake.

He would be fine. There was absolutely no lasting damage, and there were no bad signs.

Rick had come by, and Christian had already declared his intention to go right back to his job as soon as he was cleared.

The thought made Heidi’s fingertips go cold with nerves, but she knew that he would, just as she knew that he needed to.

It wasn’t just a job for him. It was who he was.

She popped her head in, the smile firmly in place.

“Hey!”

“Come here,” said Christian, and he looked very serious.

She walked in and sat next to him, taking in the almost somber look on his face.

She couldn’t look away from his eyes. She hadn’t realized just how much she loved his eyes until it seemed like she could never see them again.

“Mom tells me that you’ve got a few paying gigs.”

“Dale has really come through.”

“You should take it.”

Heidi kept her eyes on his.

“I don’t want to leave you.”

That was just the truth, and it was all she had.

“Heidi… It wasn’t mom who told me. I know you’re thinking that. But I know because you told me. You told me everything.”

Heidi was stunned, and it showed.

“You remember everything?” she asked.

He nodded.

“I do. I remember you singing to me. I remember… A lot. Not everything, perhaps, but a lot. It was like being trapped inside a bubble, or under ice. I could hear you, somehow. I could feel you, too, sometimes. Your hand in mine, your lips on my forehead. But I couldn’t do anything. It was as if the body I had taken for granted for so long, which had done everything I asked, had finally betrayed me.”

Heidi shook her head.

“It didn’t. It just needed some time. You pushed too hard, Christian. That was all. Your body needed time. You responded amazingly well. The doctors said that you’re a prime physical specimen!”

She made him smile, as she’d wanted him to.

“It’s nice to be able to smile. I could hear you, and I needed to smile at you, laugh with you, touch you. So many times. But I couldn’t. I was trying, so hard, but I couldn’t.”

Heidi held his hand, and waited.

“Heidi, you should go for the gigs. I’ll be waiting for you. It will be a few weeks before I’m cleared for anything. I won’t be fit for work for a lot longer. It’s not like I won’t be right where you left me. Or maybe at mom’s place, because I don’t see her letting me out of her sight for a while.”

Heidi grinned.

“I share your mother’s sentiment there. You have a wonderful family, Christian. You should cherish them.”

They were silent for a long moment, each thinking of the weeks that had gone by.

“I don’t know if I can bear to let you out of my sight, either,” confessed Heidi, finally.

Christian’s hand squeezed hers, and she still couldn’t believe the little thrill when she felt it.

She’d wondered if she would ever feel it again.

“I don’t, either. But… Heidi, I need to say this. You know I will wait for you, because my heart is yours. I gave it to you when that was all I could do. I wanted to give you everything – comfort, words, actions. But I could give you none of it. I gave you my heart, and I hoped you could feel it, somehow.”

Heidi’s heart filled, until she thought it might burst.

“Christian,” she whispered, and kissed him, softly, with all the tenderness she could muster.

“I love you. I love you so much. I thought I might lose you, and I never told you that I’d begun to fall in love with you that night you came to listen to me sing. I kept sliding slowly into love, and I didn’t tell you. I saw you here, hooked up to all of these machines that I’m grateful for but hate viciously, and all I wanted was to be able to look into your eyes again and tell you that you made everything better for me. You mean so much to me.”