Throw Him My Way

Chapter 9

Forty-eight very long hours later, she still hadn’t made up her mind.

She sat by Christian’s bed and sighed.

“I don’t know what to do, Christian. I know I should take the chance, I should go on tour. But it will be a whole month. I don’t want to leave when you’re still in a coma. I want to be here when you wake up. It’s more than wanting to be here for you. I’ve come to depend on this time we have together, every day. I talk to you, and everything seems clearer and better. But I’m not sure about this. Talking to you doesn’t seem to be helping with this.”

She sighed again, and willed him to wake up.

If he woke up, she could ask him what he thought of it.

He would tell her to go. Wouldn’t he?

“You should go for it, Heidi.”

Heidi turned around and saw Gina standing there, a look of deep sadness on her face.

Heidi shrugged.

“I don’t know. I want to be here for him.”

Gina walked to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I know. We all do. We believe that you being here helps him. But you have a life to live, Heidi. It’s hard enough, watching life passing him by and hoping he’ll wake up before it’s too late. You shouldn’t let it pass you by, either, Heidi.”

“I don’t want to… to abandon him.”

Now Gina smiled.

“My dear girl, you’re not abandoning him by living your life. You’re not stepping out of his life. You need to live, Heidi. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. We want you to live with him, of course we do. We’ve quite made up our minds about that, though it might be a bit of a surprise to him to hear it. But we’ll be here when he wakes up, and we will call you immediately. You have my word. Wherever you are, you can come back when he wakes up.”

Heidi nodded, but she didn’t say anything.

She knew that Gina was right. It made no sense to turn it down. No matter how much it hurt to leave.

She’d taken the day off from everything, to be with him. Bobby was taking care of the dogs. She wasn’t singing that night, except for Christian.

“I’ll leave him with you for now. Talk to him. You’ll find your answer.”

Heidi looked back at Christian and sighed.

Taking his hand, she took comfort from the warmth in it. She wished he would squeeze her hand, as he used to when he held it as they sat at the table after her performances and talked. He did it absently, as if he wasn’t really aware of it. But she had always loved that intimacy.

“I wish there was an answer. I don’t want to leave you. I want to spend every minute with you. Fact is, there’s a part of me that’s afraid that instead of waking up, you’ll slip into deeper and deeper sleep, and I’ll lose you. Now, I can feel you. I can feel you, in here. You’re not a shell that used to be you. I’m afraid that if I go away for a month, that will change, and I’ll have lost all my time with you. But I can’t not go, either. If I go, will you understand? Would you tell me to go, if you could? I hope you would, because I need to go, as much as I need to stay with you.”

She placed her head on the side of his bed, and with her hand on his, she let herself close her eyes and just feel him, all around her.

And she sang.

Finally, she stopped, and a single tear trickled down her cheek.

Heidi made as if to move her hand from his to wipe her face.

A finger moved, ever so slightly, against her hand.

Heidi froze.

Had she imagined it?

Wildly, she looked around at the machines. The beeping maintained that steady rhythm. Nothing had changed.

She had imagined it.

But, holding her breath, trying to keep that wild hope that was beating in her heart from taking over, she moved her hand, slightly, again.

There! There it was again. It wasn’t her imagination.

His fingers had moved.

Barely, but they had moved.

With trembling fingers, she leaned over and pressed the button to summon help, afraid to make a sound, afraid to take the hand on his away.

“Christian? It’s me. Don’t worry about anything, all right? Don’t worry. You’re all right. Oh, Christian, I’m so afraid I might have imagined that… I…”

The nurse walked in, and Heidi turned, wild-eyed.

As she did, the hand moved, and this time, she knew she wasn’t imagining it.

“His fingers. He moved them,” said Heidi, speaking quietly, afraid to do anything wrong.

The nurse face was a study in shock as she whirled around to get the doctors.

Hardly daring to believe it, unable to quell the hope that was filling her, she turned to Christian, and saw his eyelids flutter.

“Di,” he mumbled.

Heidi couldn’t stop the tears now. She cried, and she let the tears flow. Getting up carefully, she moved closer to him, just as doctors came running.

“I’m here. I’ll be here.”

He whispered her name, and Heidi was ushered out.

She watched, stunned, for long moments as the doctors moved around him, and she saw that he was awake.

He was definitely awake.

Gina! Heidi dug out her phone, and made the call.

“Heidi? Did he?”

Heidi laughed, giddy with happiness so pure that she wasn’t sure she could hold it all inside her without breaking apart.

“He’s waking up! Barely a minute ago. Come quickly, the doctors are in there. Oh Gina, he’s waking up!”

She heard the tears and the laughter, and knew that everything would be all right again.

The doctor came out, and she turned to him, her hands clasped together, hope and fear warring in her eyes and her heart.

“I’m fairly confident that he’ll make a full recovery. He needs to take things easy, and too much excitement isn’t good for him. Family can go in one at a time for today. We’ll reassess that in the morning. Heidi, he’s asking for you. And for his mother. Don’t tire him out. But he needs to see you.”

Heidi nodded gratefully and walked back into that room.

This time, those smoky blue-gray eyes met hers, and the relief she felt was strong enough to nearly bring her to her knees.

“Heidi.”

“Christian,” said Heidi, and walked to his side.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure what to say or do.

“I’m glad you’re here,” said Christian, finally.

Heidi smiled.

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she told him, and he smiled at her.

“Came back for you.”

Heidi’s hand covered his again.

“For me?”

“Heard you. Came back for you. You sang for me.”

She nodded, and didn’t try to stop the tears this time, again.

Leaning down, she pressed her lips to it carefully, tenderly. She didn’t want to hurt him.

But his lips were soft and warm, after the water he’d had. His lips parted, and his tongue slid over her lips.