Throw Him My Way

Chapter 7

It was her big night.

She was determined to do well.

She’d done that twice. Now she’d be third time lucky.

Heidi had to believe that. She had to do it for Mrs. Spinelli, if nothing else, because she had finally declared the occasion big enough for her to come.

From the wings, Heidi looked around frantically, hoping to catch a glimpse of Christian, or Rick.

But there was no sign of either.

She did see Mrs. Spinelli, with Bobby the ballet dancer.

“Two minutes,” she was told.

Dale caught her eye, and gave her the thumbs up.

She had to set everything else aside and sing, now, because this was her chance.

If she did well, she might get more bookings. She might even get booked for a tour.

She was just the opening act, but she meant to open with a bang.

Heidi looked spectacular, thanks to Mrs. Spinelli again.

She was in red, with her makeup just as bold.

Heidi was beginning to rethink her reliance on subtlety. Maybe Mrs. Spinelli knew what she was talking about when she declared that you had to go bold or not go at all.

Taking a deep breath, Heidi tried to fill herself with confidence.

“Time’s up,” somebody told her, and she walked on stage.

She nearly reeled. There were thousands of people there.

Before she could fumble, she let herself go on autopilot.

“Hello, everybody. It’s my job to warm you all up, so I hope you’ll cooperate. I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but never fear. You just have to deal with about fifteen minutes of me, maybe less, and you’ll have the people you really came to see.”

At least she wasn’t being booed.

“I’m Heidi Richards. If you’d like to throw anything, I’d appreciate coins. I’m broke, that’ll help me make rent.”

Apparently, alluding to having things thrown at you worked with just about every audience.

Then the music started, and Heidi forgot to be nervous.

She sang as if it was the performance of her life. She sang as if everything in the world depended on it.

She sang as if she meant every word, and she – the opening act – was demanded for an encore.

Heidi couldn’t remember that ever happening at any show she’d ever been to.

An encore.

By the time she made her way down backstage, she was so tired that her legs felt like rubber.

“Mrs. Spinelli,” said Heidi, and ran straight into her arms. She was held against her generous bosom, and Heidi let herself shake, finally.

“You were magnificent. I told you those arias would come in handy.”

Dale popped up behind her.

“You did an incredible job, Heidi. Check will be in the mail, and be sure I’ll get in touch with you. We need to find you an agent. I’ll be in touch, all right? And I’m not just saying that. I would just say that, too. But I really mean that. You were triumphant out there.”

And he was gone.

She hoped he meant what he’d said.

She had maxed out every credit card she had – a total of two – to buy the red dress.

Mrs. Spinelli had assured her that it was necessary. Now she was inclined to agree.

But where was Christian?

“Mrs. Spinelli, would you like to stay for the rest of the evening?”

Mrs. Spinelli fluffed her hair.

“My dear, once I come out, I never go back until after the party backstage. Now come on. We’ve got good seats out there, Bobby and I.”

Heidi had her eyes peeled for Christian. She looked everywhere, hoping every moment that she would see him.

He had to be there.

He wouldn’t miss it, would he? He knew how important it was to her.

They hadn’t talked about it. But she’d thought that was because they’d had an understanding.

He had come for almost every single one of her performances on much smaller stages, and he had missed the big one.

As the night went on, the bewilderment turned into hurt.

He had missed her big night.

Mrs. Spinelli noticed her flagging spirits.

“Maybe we should go home, Heidi,” she said, and Heidi nodded gratefully.

She saw Bobby’s long face.

“I’ve got a backstage pass. You can have it,” she offered, and the long face brightened immediately.

Mrs. Spinelli and Heidi hailed a cab and left.

Somehow, the night of her triumph – all right, a minor triumph, it wasn’t like it was such a big deal – had left her cold, all because Christian hadn’t been there.

“You missed your young man today,” said Mrs. Spinelli.

Heidi shrugged, intending to make light of it, but she changed her mind mid-shrug.

“He didn’t say he’d be there. But I thought he would. I talked to him in the morning and he didn’t sound like anything was wrong. He knew how important it was, Mrs. Spinelli. I wouldn’t have had tonight without him. Why wouldn’t he come? It makes no sense, does it?”

Mrs. Spinelli shrugged.

“I don’t know about that. But you’re being silly, letting your big night be ruined by a man and what he might or might not have done. Maybe he had an emergency. He is a fireman, this young man of yours, isn’t he? It’s possible. Or maybe he thought being there might unnerve you. Either way, tonight is supposed to be about you. You should focus on yourself.”

“Wise words,” said Heidi, after a moment of silence.

“When you’ve lived as long as I have, my dear girl, all words are wise. Now, your performance was very good, but there are a few things you need to pay attention to,” said Mrs. Spinelli, and for the rest of the cab ride back, Heidi found herself being critiqued, and most thoroughly.

By the time she got back to her apartment, she was exhausted.

Mrs. Spinelli had very successfully distracted her. But now she was alone, and there wasn’t anything to think about except Christian.

She dug her phone out of her bag and stared at it for a few long moments.

She could call him.

But she didn’t want to seem desperate.

Maybe she should play it cool.

She used to be good at playing things cool.

She probably should give it a rest. If he wanted a break from her, she would give him one.

But did he?

Giving up, she walked to the kitchen and put a sandwich together. She’d been too jittery to have lunch.

What the hell, thought Heidi, and poured herself a glass of wine, too.

She would drink the wine, have the sandwich, and try her best to edit the videos of the night. Once she got the go-ahead, she could upload them to her YouTube channel.

Heidi made an effort to immerse herself in work, and it worked, for about an hour. When she emerged from it, she checked the time and saw that it wasn’t midnight yet.

It was too late to call.

She’d hoped that it would be.

But she could send a text.

Would that be desperate, too?

Finally, she fell asleep with the phone in her hand, and she still hadn’t made her decision. Exhaustion made it for her.

The next morning, though, was a different matter. She always sent him a good morning. She’d been doing that for over a month.

After chewing her lip for a while, she decided what to send him.

Hey! Missed you last night. Was incredible. Thank you again! And good morning. 

There, that was casual enough, thought Heidi, and hit send.

But she didn’t get a reply.

She took all her dogs out for walks. Zoe was back in her apartment, and she had taken the chance to do some redecorating. Apple was behaving better than ever.

Everything was fine, she told herself.

For the second dog run, she didn’t have a hand free for her phone.