This Was Meant To Be

His words were gentle, but she heard the underlying finality in them.

She stilled.

“I don’t want to…”

She trailed off, unable to finish that statement. She didn’t want to just give up, did she?

“It would be giving up,” she said, shakily.

“Maybe some things should be given up, Leigh. Besides, if he really wants to go on this one-year thing, and you don’t go, then do you want to have a long-distance thing with him?”

Leigh considered before she whispered her answer.

“I don’t think it would work. If we can’t communicate properly when he’s here, how are we going to do it when he’s far away, with sketchy network and everything? How?”

Harrison stroked her arm again, a firm touch that lent support and gave more strength.

“I can’t tell you what to do. It’s not like you’d listen, anyway. You’ve always made up your own mind, and you’ve always stuck by your decisions, Leigh. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. You don’t have to deal with anything alone. Anyway, what does Emily have to say about all of this?”

Leigh smiled a bit sadly.

“Emily is off on a project in the Arctic. She should come back in a couple of weeks, but until then… She’s been off the grid for a couple of months now. I just get a few sporadic emails from her. I couldn’t dump all of this on her in the middle of that.”

Harrison couldn’t help but grin.

“Emily would have a few things to tell you.”

Leigh chuckled. Emily never minced words.

Emily had been her friend since high school, when she had transferred and immediately gotten bullied.

Leigh had tried to take her under her wing, but had found her far too prickly for such attention. But Emily and Leigh had become firm friends, and they had taken care of each other through many things.

Emily was a marine biologist who loved her work.

Leigh was pretty sure that Carl and Emily had never really gotten along, though they’d been friendly enough to each other.

“She would. But still… She’ll be back in a couple of weeks, but I don’t think I can last two more weeks, the way things are. I really need some peace.”

Harrison nodded.

“Then it doesn’t sound to me like you have much choice, Leigh.”

“It doesn’t, does it,” said Leigh wistfully.

“Look at it this way. After he comes back, when you meet, if both of you want to get back together, there’s nothing to stop you from doing that. It doesn’t have to be the end, for good, if you don’t want it to be.”

But Leigh wasn’t sure what she wanted. All she knew was that she was tired, and she didn’t want to fight anymore. But she couldn’t give up everything she had worked so hard for, not for the sake of peace. No matter how much she wanted them to stop fighting, she couldn’t do that.

“I guess I could look at it that way. But it does seem very unlikely, Harrison. If we break up, I think we’ll each go our own way. His world is very different from mine now. It wasn’t like that before.”

The soft words did tug at Harrison’s heart again.

How could the man hurt her so? If he loved her, he wouldn’t. Of course he wouldn’t.

Leigh was far better off without him, he told himself again.

“You don’t have to make your choice now, Leigh. You have plenty of time.”

But this time, when Leigh looked up at him, the look on her face was resolute and somehow calmer.

“I don’t. Time ran out when he refused to meet me halfway. Even pretend to meet me halfway, no matter how much I tried. I tried, Harrison. Time ran out when he refused to work on it. So I think we both know that I do have to make my choice. I won’t give up everything I need to give him what he wants. I think… I think it’s time to face it. He loves himself more than he loves me. And I… Well, I love myself more than I love him, too. Maybe that would be healthy if we could both have the determination to make it work, but we don’t. I think my relationship with Carl is over.”

Harrison saw the tears fill her eyes, no matter how brave she looked. He pulled her into his arms, holding her close, offering her whatever he could.

“Don’t cry, Leigh. It’ll be all right. No matter what, you’ve got people who love you, who will always stand by you. Me, Emily, Martha and Samuel. So many people love you so much, Leigh. You will never be alone. You know that.”

Valiantly, she fought her tears, battling back fiercely even as she took what Harrison offered. She felt his strong chest under her cheek, his large hands patting her head and her back, and she felt comforted.

Finally, she pulled away.

“I haven’t spotted your shirt,” said Leigh, with a smile.

“It wouldn’t matter if you had,” said Harrison, and smiled down at her.

“Let me take you home,” he offered.

Leigh shook her head, and her chin shot up in that gesture that indicated stubborn pride and an absolute unwillingness to concede defeat, to anything.

He knew it well. She would tough it out, because she demanded it of herself.

“No, you won’t. We’re going to have the damn rubbery chicken, listen to a couple of very boring speeches, make a few inappropriate jokes, and then you can take me home, because I came in a cab. Deal?”

Harrison nodded, so proud of her that he thought he might be beaming.

“Deal,” he said, but he knew that not everything he felt at that moment was selfless.

Underneath everything, one thing reigned.

Leigh was single.

Finally, Leigh was single – the one woman he had always wanted, the one woman he had always cared for, the one woman who had always understood him, was single. Or at least, she would be, very soon. Once Leigh made a decision, nothing swayed her.

He knew that she had made that decision.