This Was Meant To Be

Chapter 3

“Carl and I have been having problems,” she confessed.

Harrison didn’t say anything, but he looked…

Well, it wouldn’t have mattered. She had to talk to him.

“He’s always wanted to take a year off and go on a backpacking trip across Asia, and maybe South America and Europe, too. You know I’d love that, but we always said we’d do it by the time we’re thirty, and, well, he’s twenty eight now. He’s quite… Well, I guess I’d say disgruntled that we haven’t done it yet. And we don’t seem very close to doing it.”

Harrison just nodded.

At least he wasn’t judging her.

Leigh plowed on.

“I can’t take the time off, Harrison. I’ve worked so hard, done so much grunt work and I’m finally getting to do what I like doing. I’m finally getting to show that I’m good for more than just looking up page numbers and finding the exact words used in judgments and sentencing that somebody else has already found. I can finally do work that might even make a difference, except apparently I can’t, because I must take a year off and go tramping over someplace that will not go away in a few years, to stay on my boyfriend’s schedule!”

Leigh’s voice rose, higher and higher, as she went on. Harrison nearly stepped back in alarm.

It sounded to him like Carl was being a bit of an ass.

Leigh breathed harshly, wondering where all of that bitterness had come from.

But she knew, didn’t she? She knew that the bitterness had been building with each day of petulant pettiness from Carl.

“How about if you could take a month off, instead of a year? You could do that. A month won’t make much difference at work. You’ll still have to play catch up, of course, but you won’t have to start from scratch all over again, and that’s an advantage, isn’t it?

Leigh looked at him gratefully. She should’ve known that he’d understand. She should’ve trusted him earlier.

“I suggested that. I even said that we could do a month now, and start planning for the year off, but not yet. Maybe after I clear my LSAT, I could take a year before I join somewhere. If I do well enough, they wouldn’t mind that.”

Harrison nodded. That sounded quite reasonable to him.

“Well, that sounds like a compromise that should solve the problem. You’ll both get what you want, and you can sort it all out.”

Leigh glared.

“That would work if he was willing to compromise. He thinks he’s already compromised a lot, with how much time I work and how much effort I put into work. He says this is one dream he’s not willing to let go of, not for my sake, not for anything.”

Leigh’s shoulders slumped as she recalled that fight. It had been pretty ugly.

“Sounds like this is about more than just taking a year off, Leigh,” said Harrison, and his voice was gentle.

Leigh sighed.

Damn, now she was doing it, too.

“I guess so. It feels like we’ve been drifting apart. We seem to want such different things from life now. It wasn’t like this before, you know. We used to know each other so well. Now it’s just so many fights and so many misunderstandings. Harrison, I actually volunteered to come for this event. You know I don’t really like them, and I really need a good night’s sleep. But I know I wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep at home. Not with all of this looming over us. I’m hiding from my own boyfriend. Seriously, how pathetic is that?”

Harrison smiled and leaned close to Leigh, slipping a bolstering arm around her shoulder.

“I know it’s not easy, Leigh. I guess relationships never are. I’ve always admired how you made a commitment and were willing to work at it. I’ve never had the guts to do that. Every time it felt like somebody was getting too close to me for comfort, I’d pull back.”

Leigh leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling comforted and somehow strengthened.

“Sounds like pretty good strategy to me right now, to be honest. I mean, look at where commitment has gotten me. I’m hiding out on a terrace at a fancy old hotel, at a benefit for something that’s a good cause, but doesn’t need this dinner. All so I don’t have to go home. Harrison, it doesn’t even feel like home anymore. You remember how thrilled I was to find it? Well, all of that is gone. I just don’t even want to be there most of the time.”

Harrison rubbed her arm, and she felt warmth seeping back into her. If there was something more to feel, she didn’t pay attention to it.

It was Harrison. He was being there for her, being a good friend, as he always was.

“You know that isn’t true. But Leigh, you have to put yourself first sometimes, too. Compromises need give and take. If you’re trying, and he won’t give an inch, how can you make it work, all by yourself? You can’t take such a huge step back in your career. You would resent him if you did that, and that wouldn’t be good for your relationship, either.”

Leigh bit back a sigh again. She was not going to get into that annoying habit.

“I know. But I can’t see what I can possibly do. We’ve been having this fight, over and over again, for weeks now. It started before that, with heated discussions and a few snide remarks. It’s become such a big deal in the last few weeks. There just seems to be no end in sight. I don’t know how to go back to what we used to be. I miss what we used to have.”

The frank admission tugged at his heart. But he couldn’t help it if he thought that Leigh deserved somebody far better than Carl. Carl was not good enough for her, and never would be.

Harrison shied away from asking himself just who could possibly be good enough for her, then.

“You’re unhappy, Leigh. Maybe you could try counseling. Couple’s counseling might help.”

The suggestion was halfhearted. He didn’t think it would help. He didn’t want it to.

Leigh shrugged, and settled back on his shoulder. It felt good, to lean on him. She could lean on him, at least a bit.

“I suggested that, too. I even tried insisting. He said he wouldn’t do it. I don’t know what to do anymore, Harrison.”

Harrison waited for a long moment.

“Leigh, my sweetheart, I think you’re so unhappy because you do know what to do, and you don’t like it.”