This Was Meant To Be

He had always thought that Leigh was extremely cute when she did that. She had beautiful eyes and a stunning smile, but her nose was tip-tilted and didn’t follow the classical lines of her beauty. He knew that she had always disliked it, but he’d always found it endearing.

It reminded him that she was fun and sweet, not unapproachably beautiful.

But then, Leigh didn’t often seem to be aware of just how lovely she was.

They finally ducked out between two of the many imposing and rather intimidating pillars in the hall, and found a terrace where there was nobody.

With a glad sigh, Leigh boosted herself up on a convenient ledge that didn’t leave her at risk of tumbling down.

“Boy, I’m glad to get off my feet. These heels make my ass look incredible, but they kill my feet. I’m going to need a long soak tonight before I sleep, or I won’t be able to sleep.”

Harrison grinned.

“I’m sure you can impose on Carl to give you a foot rub. That is his name, right?”

That was just posturing, and Harrison disliked himself for doing it. But he didn’t like Carl. He didn’t think Carl deserved Leigh.

If there was a part of him that asked him, mockingly, just who did deserve Leigh, he chose to ignore it.

He couldn’t be attracted to Leigh, of course. It was out of the question, so he was not attracted to Leigh. He would never be. He was Leigh’s big brother – well, as good as, though there was really no right word for what they were – and it would be out of the question for him to even consider wanting to be anything more.

He disliked Carl because Carl had everything, and thought he was better than everybody else because he chose not to use the connections and wealth he had inherited. But he didn’t recognize that he did use it, every day – he knew the people, he knew the language, and he had the right pedigree. No matter what, that played a part in his individual success, and he always refused to acknowledge it.

The moral superiority he seemed to assume he had was another irritating part of it. The few times that Harrison and Carl had met, they hadn’t gotten along very well.

Harrison avoided Carl as much as he could. But Leigh was a grown woman who had made her choice, and she seemed to be happy with him, so Harrison had to swallow all his objections. Leigh would definitely not take kindly to him interfering in any way. She was quite fiercely independent, and that was one of the many things he found attractive – no, he corrected himself, not attractive – interesting about Leigh.

Apart from, of course, her goodness and her honesty, both of which still made him wonder how she would deal with being a lawyer. But if anybody could make being a lawyer an honest job, it was Leigh.

Harrison brought himself out of his reverie and realized that Leigh was looking away, and she looked unhappy. He couldn’t stop the surge of protectiveness that rose in him when he saw her look like that – vulnerable and sad.

Leigh was never supposed to be sad. She didn’t usually waste time being sad, he knew that, too. She faced problems directly and solved them instead of wasting time and energy moping around. He remembered, very well, how she hadn’t let him mope around, either. He’d thought he was entitled to it, and maybe he was. But Leigh had wanted him to be happy, and she had found ways of sharing his sadness and turning it into poignant sweetness that he saw, now, had given him hope when he’d given up all hope.

He couldn’t bear to see her with that look on her face.

“Leigh, what’s wrong?”

His quiet words made her turn to him, and she smiled, but the smile faltered when he looked at her.

Of course Harrison could see through her. He knew her so well. How had she gone for so long without seeing him?

She wanted to talk to somebody, about everything. She realized, with a jolt, that she didn’t have any friends she could talk to about this. Most of her friends were friends of both Carl and her. She couldn’t talk to them about problems with Carl, because everybody seemed to have taken for granted that they were the fairytale couple – that they would always be together, because they were meant to be.

It was a heavy burden to bear, and now that she was cracking under it, just a bit, she realized that she needed somebody.

Harrison would listen, she knew that. Harrison always understood, and he would always be there for her.

There was something about that night, with the still air and the bright moon, with bits of laughter and conversation filtering in through the open windows, lights and shadows mingling to form wonderful patterns, that made her want to let go. She wanted to feel free, and simply be.

With Harrison, she could do that. She knew she could.

But still…

She owed Carl some loyalty, didn’t she? She knew that Harrison hadn’t taken to Carl. She had been surprised that that hadn’t changed. She knew that he was protective, which she considered one of his flaws, since she was extremely independent.

But even after Carl and he had spent some time together, Harrison hadn’t warmed to him. Carl was charming and engaging. People usually liked him. He’d been shocked and disgruntled to find that Harrison was an exception to the rule, and showed no signs of being won over, no matter what.

Leigh had learned to accept it, and knew that they would both have to tolerate each other for her sake. She had stopped having fond dreams of magical family get-togethers, though, and that hadn’t been easy.

So now, she wasn’t sure if she should talk to Harrison about everything that was bothering her. She knew he’d be on her side, of course. But if… No, when, she told herself. She couldn’t think of it as ‘if’.

When she and Carl worked things out, wouldn’t this lead to more animosity between him and Harrison?

But that ‘if’, the fact that she had thought ‘if’, hung heavy on her. She had already thought about it, she realized, guiltily. She had stopped taking it for granted that she and Carl would sort everything out, find middle ground, and be together forever.

The realization made her feel a bit dizzy, and she clutched the side of the ledge as if she was suddenly afraid she’d lose balance. She felt as if the entire world had suddenly gone off-kilter.

“Leigh, are you all right? Should I get a doctor? There are about a dozen in there.”

Leigh shook her head, and held on to his arm as he placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

Yes, she felt better holding on to him. She had always been able to hold on to Harrison, lean on him.

And that little spell made her realize that she needed to take care of herself. She needed to find a space where she could figure everything out.

She’d been trying to do that alone for the last few weeks because Carl refused to help. If Carl wouldn’t give an inch, she needed to get comfort and help where she could, because she needed it.

She owed that much to herself.

She wasn’t being disloyal by talking to Harrison, of all people, about it.

“Leigh, you look pale. I think maybe I should take you home. Can I call Carl? Should I? Where is he, anyway?”

Leigh almost chuckled, and shook her head again.

“Talk to me, Leigh,” said Harrison.

And Leigh decided to do just that.