The Sound Of Love

“I don’t know,” said Chantal. “I guess I’m just grateful to have you in my life. You make it a lot better, I hope you know that.”

“Aw sweetie!” said Fran. She picked up a piece of bacon from the large amount that was piled onto the plate in the center of the table and put it in Chantal’s mouth. “Here, have some bacon. Only the best for my Chantal.”

Chantal chewed on the bacon. It was crispy and salty and utterly delicious. However, she felt a little self conscious while doing it. She wanted to talk about it but she didn’t want to make it seem like her weight was the only thing she thought about so she decided to tackle the topic in a different way.

“Why do you even feel the need to diet?” asked Chantal, hesitating a little before picking up another piece of bacon. “You’re so skinny!”

“I know,” said Fran, “but at the same time I just… I guess I’ve always associated my sense of self worth with how skinny I am. So I just get paranoid when I gain even the slightest bit of weight. I start to feel like I won’t be skinny anymore if I keep eating the way I am eating, and if I’m not skinny anymore I won’t be worthy of love or respect. It’s a stupid way to think, I know, but I can’t help it.”

“It’s not stupid,” said Chantal. “I mean, everyone has a way of thinking about stuff like this. Everyone is concerned that they are not good enough in some way. Why should you be any different? To be honest I think that you are a lot more balanced than other people. You know why? Because you know that the way you think is wrong. You acknowledge it. You can’t help but think that way, you’ve been socialized into thinking that you are only worth something if you are skinny. Of course you start to panic when you gain even the slightest bit of weight. But at least you recognize that thinking this way is wrong, I think that’s an important first step. It would allow you to get on the path to actualizing your belief that your weight does not define you.”

“How do you do it?” said Fran. “I mean, you’re so sexy, I really think you’re beautiful, but you’ve always said that you’ve been made to feel like you’re unattractive simply because of the fact that you are bigger than other girls. I know that a lot of people say that bigger girls are attractive because they have curves but the vast majority of people called you fat and yet you’re still so confident. That makes you even sexier, which is kind of impressive because you’re already so fu*king hot!”

Chantal was taken aback. She had not realized that she exuded so much confidence. She certainly didn’t feel as confident as she clearly behaved. She decided to be honest with Fran. After all, her best friend and roommate was being so honest with her, she deserved honesty in return.

“You want to know a secret?” asked Chantal.

Fran leaned forward and said, “Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“I’m not that confident,” said Chantal. “I just realized a long time ago that if I don’t at least behave confident people are going to think that I’m weak, they’re going to think that I am an easy target and they are going to start making fun of me and putting me down and making me feel like I am not beautiful simply because of the fact that I am not completely skinny.”

“So if you’re not that confident how do you manage to eat whatever you want and not diet and go to the gym?” asked Fran. “That sounds like actual confidence to me. It sounds like you actually are comfortable with your weight, and that you feel like you are genuinely attractive.”

Chantal thought about it for a moment. She realized that she really didn’t care about what she ate. She made sure never to eat too much and she went for a walk every evening to stay at least slightly active but she didn’t do it because she cared about her weight. She did it because she wanted to stay healthy.

“That’s probably because my phone s*x operator job makes me feel so sexy,” said Chantal with a grin. “I guess I just feel like I’m sexy because I’m able to get guys off really easily over the phone. I’m able to do this even though I’m fat, or at least what some people would call fat. This makes me feel confident, you know? It makes me feel like I have the potential to turn a guy on and make him feel good.”

“Wow!” said Fran. She winked and said, “Maybe I should give being a phone s*x operator a try.”

Chantal laughed and said, “I think you’d be pretty damn good at it.”

And with that, the two friends went to their respective rooms to start getting ready for the day. Chantal didn’t have to dress up in any special way so she just changed into a clean shirt and comfortable cotton pants, opened her laptop up, opened the website and logged in.

She was online now and would start getting calls soon. She wasn’t all that worried about work right now, though. She knew that it was a work day and very few people would call. In six hours her shift would end and she would be free to do whatever she wanted. The few callers that were going to call her today would probably tip her and this would mean that she would have around twenty dollars directly transferred to her bank account today. This was extra money, money that she could use to enjoy herself a little. God knows, she really deserved it.

She thought that she might go out with Fran. Fran always had extra money to go out with so it wouldn’t be a problem for her, it was Chantal who was usually short on cash.

Chantal sighed and stretched her legs, waiting for the first caller. Little did she know that today was not going to be an ordinary day. No, today was going to be a very different day indeed. She was going to get a caller that was going to make things very different for her. She was going to get a caller that would change her life, and she was going to find out that she was going to change his life as well in ways that neither of them could have imagined.