The One That Got Away

“You know, this could be a blessing in disguise. Obviously you guys weren’t ready for this commitment,” she commented when they were almost the last ones in the waiting room. Monique looked up at her in puzzlement.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she ground out.

Felicity shrugged, “You didn’t want this. Oliver told me so. Now you can bow out, no harm, no foul. Nobody has to be hurt by this. Oliver can go find himself someone else more interested in having a family…and you can go be…whatever; a ballerina or cheerleader or whatever.”

Monique stared at her, “Oliver told you that?”

Felicity shrugged, “We’re friends.”

“And you’d like to be a lot more than friends, wouldn’t you?” Monique challenged.

Felicity shrugged, “He loves Bobbi. That’s really what every mother wants. A man that would be a good father to her kids.”

That hit Monique like a knife to the guts. She stood up and left the hospital without keeping her appointment. The next day, her mother called, asking to meet for coffee.

“Your father told me that you missed an appointment at the hospital. Why?” she asked without preamble. Monique’s eyebrows lifted; seemed that the surprises just kept coming.

“How did he know?” she asked. Her mother gave her a pitying look.

“Did you think, even for a minute, that your father didn’t know every single thing about your condition this entire time? It must have occurred to you since you asked for him when you came in for your emergency,” she said.

Monique looked down, “He didn’t come.”

“He did come. He was there. You just didn’t see him. Now, why did you not keep your appointment?” she asked again.

Monique shrugged, “I think…it seemed like…I don’t know, I…maybe I should leave Ollie.”

Her mother’s hand landed on top of hers with a squeeze, “What happened baby?” she asked and Monique winced.

“Kindly don’t call me that.”

“Sorry. Force of habit. Now talk to me daughter.”

Monique’s grimace became a twisted smile, “Okay, well, I don’t know, I could be totally building mountains out of molehills but…there is this girl,” Monique hesitated.

“Go on,” her mother said.

“I think she’s in love with Oliver. And Oliver is certainly in love with her child. She implied that I should get out of the way. That I’m stopping Ollie from being great; achieving his dreams of fatherhood and happily ever after.”

“Wow, that’s cold,” her mother said.

Monique met her eyes, “Is she right? Am I holding on to something I should be letting go of?”

Her mother’s eyes softened, “Oh darling, only you can know that for sure,” she said.

Monique stared into the distance, misery in her eyes. “Where would I even go?” she asked plaintively.

“Why, you would come home of course,” her mother said.

“I couldn’t stand to see him, and he wouldn’t let me go,” Monique said.

“Then we will go home to New Orleans, and you will not have to see him again.”

Monique stared at her mother, “But…daddy. His job…and…you would do that for me.”

Her mother smiled, squeezing her hand, “Monique, you are our baby, of course we would do anything for you. Go to your house, say goodbye to him; and then let’s go home.”

Monique’s eyes closed and she imagined herself heading back to their house, telling Oliver she was leaving, packing up and going. She shook her head, standing up.

“I’ll think about it maman,” she said and headed out.

*****

She spent a lot of time locked away in the guest room, just thinking. She found that she’d found boxes and was putting her stuff away in it. It wasn’t a conscious decision. But whatever lay between her and Ollie seemed to be broken for good. They hardly spoke, seemed to have nothing to say to each other. It was more and more painful to be in his presence. She missed happiness like it was a separate being. Her world seemed to be all darkness, doom and gloom. Oliver spoke to her, told her she looked pretty or whatever, tried to touch her…but she couldn’t. She couldn’t let him; not when she was contemplating whether to leave him or not. She watched him play with Bobbi in the park sometimes, unobserved. He and Felicity would sit close and talk to each other, never seeming to run out of things to say. It made her think that maybe Felicity was right. Maybe she was standing between Oliver and his happiness. He was an honorable man though, he would never admit it even if she asked. The best thing to do was to disappear; be the bad guy. Let him have the happiness, and the family, he so obviously craved. Felicity would look after him. Hell, she’d be happy to. Monique couldn’t help the way her lip curled at the thought. But that was her problem.

It would be a new start for her too. She could chase her dreams, become whatever she wanted to be. This was not the end; only a new beginning. But before she went, she would have one last night with him. Hold him close in her arms and remember. And then tomorrow, she would go.

*****

Oliver almost went crazy looking for her. He asked all her friends in school but they had as much clue where she’d gone as he did. He’d never been introduced to her parents but he went over to where they used to live only to find a ‘for sale’ sign on the house. He tried to ask the realtor where the previous occupants had gone but she claimed to have no clue. His parents would not help him find Monique; in their eyes it was good riddance. Her phone number was out of service and he waited and waited for her to get in touch but she didn’t. The end of the school year and graduation came and went without a word from her. The school office would not tell him where they sent her transcripts despite the fact that he was her legal next of kin. All they would tell him is that she was alive and well.

A year after she left, he got the first batch of divorce papers from a lawyer in Louisiana. He got in touch with him, asked for a face to face meeting with his client. The lawyer said he would get back to him. Three months later he sent an email stating that his client did not want anything to do with Oliver, not now, nor in the future.

“You know, maybe you should just sign the papers. I mean it’s not like you have community property or children. She wanted to disappear…let her go,” Felicity told him, hand squeezing his arm in sympathy.

Oliver shook his head, hard, “I can’t just…let her go. It’s not that easy. She’s the…she’s…”, he choked, face coloring with emotion. Felicity put her arms around him.

“I know it really hurts right now and I’m sorry for that. But ultimately? You’ll find that it’s for the best. If she really loved you she would have stayed. You said yourself it was like she didn’t even want the baby.”

“No, I just meant she didn’t like how tired and slow it made her. I never said she didn’t want it. Obviously she wanted it. She was so depressed after we lost it.”

“You were so depressed too.”

“She needed me, and I was mean to her.”

“You were hurting; she should have understood.”

“We were both hurting. I should have said sorry.”

“It takes two to tango Oliver, and she just left.”

Oliver put his head in his hands and cried. Felicity held him close and tight, letting him know everything would be alright.

“Hey, let’s go get Bobbi from school,” she said when his sobs had subsided to hiccups. “I bet that will distract you really well.”

Oliver wiped his eyes, “Yeah okay, let’s do that.”

As Felicity stood, she took hold of his hand and pulled him up to his feet. She kept his hand in hers as they walked, and he let her.