”Stubborn thing. I must be bloated.”
Three pairs of jeans later Chelsea threw them all to the floor in frustration. She didn’t want to think…No, she couldn’t be. Instead of trying and failing once more, she grabbed a pair of yoga pants from her drawer, slipped on a t-shirt and waited for Matthew to get home. Maybe it was time for that doctor’s visit after all.
*****
“Congratulations Mrs. Rawlins,” Doctor Stevens said with a big grin on his face.
“I’m sorry?” she said as she let go of Matthew’s hand.
“You’re pregnant! Congrats. I’ll go and get you a recommendation for an ob.”
“How far along is she?” Mathew asked quietly. He could see Chelsea was having some kind of moment of utter disbelief.
“By my charts, about three months. Probably why you’re experiencing all of these symptoms at once. You’ve even gained a little weight. So far, everything looks good.”
As Dr. Stevens left the room, Chelsea burst into tears. Matthew put an arm around her, pulling her in until her head rested on his shoulder. He rubbed her back softly.
“Is it really that terrible?”
“Right after I get a promotion? Yes!”
“It’s probably just the hormones talking, babe.”
Chelsea gave him a venomous look. She picked up her purse walking out of the office. He could deal with the rest himself.
“What did I say?” he called after her.
When they reached the apartment again, Matthew decided to cook her some lunch. She sat on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, her eyes gazing at the tv, but not really watching it. She wasn’t ready for a baby. They’d only been married for two minutes. Matthew came out with two plates full of eggs, bacon, toast and jam. She took the plate from him gently.
“I’m sorry, about earlier.”
Matthew kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”
Chelsea loved that he didn’t push her, didn’t force her to talk about it at that moment. Instead, they sat in silence watching tv as they ate. Chelsea didn’t want to view their baby as a burden. It was hard not to when all she could think of was the years she’d put into her job. She felt equally guilty when she considered handing them off to a nanny, essentially not being in their lives. What if they became all screwed up because their workaholic parents weren’t around enough? She shuddered. Chelsea tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, but they kept coming back. She was suddenly very tired. Moving from the couch, she gave Matthew a kiss before falling into bed.
The next few weeks, Chelsea found herself snapping at everyone around her. Everyday she went to work she felt like hell by the time she got home. Through it all, Matthew kept his calm. He’d run her a bath, rub her feet, make dinner. Chelsea felt horrible for how she was treating him, but she just couldn’t seem to keep her emotions in check. By the end of the night, he’d wrap his arms around her, brush his fingers over her cheeks as she drifted off to sleep, whispering to her that it would all be okay.
One morning, after the usual bouts of sickness had passed, Matthew woke Chelsea up gently. For a moment, she thought she’d have to go to work, but quickly realized it was Saturday. She protested against being woken up early, but he had already run her a bath and laid her clothes out for her. She slipped into a cream sweater and jeans, examining the every growing roundness of her belly. She ran a hand over it, wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. She pushed the thought aside as Matthew called for her to hurry up.
Chelsea slipped into the car, the cool autumn air making her shiver. They stopped for hot cocoa and breakfast first at a little diner. Chelsea ate more than a few blueberry pancakes and bacon. When her belly was warm and full she turned to Matthew, a small smile on her face.
“Why are we up so early?”
“It’s a surprise,” he said as he sipped on his coffee. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m glad to see you smiling.”
Chelsea waved a hand dismissively. She didn’t want to talk about that right now. With the bad feelings left at home, she didn’t suddenly want to conjure them up here. She sipped at her water.
“Can I at least get a little hint?”
“It’s something you’ll really like.”
She rolled her eyes. “Helpful.”
Matthew didn’t say a word. Just grinned as he drank his coffee.