The Love Hotel

“Rochelle,” said Seth, capitulating and using her full name. “Listen to me, I am so sorry. I am so fu*king sorry that I did this to you. You have to know, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I had never thought that I would end up hurting you like this. And this… this was not something that happened a lot. Just… just a few times, Rochelle. I swear. It wasn’t something that I did on a regular basis it was just a very, very occasional thing I did.”

“How many times?” asked Rochelle. “How many times, Seth? How many times have you fu*ked other men?”

Seth was silent. “Tell me,” said Rochelle. “Tell me exactly how many times. Have the courage to tell the truth now, Seth. Have the courage to own up to what you’ve done now that you have ruined everything for us. Be a man, Seth. Be a fu*king man for once and be honest about how much you have betrayed me. I fu*king deserve to know.”

“About two dozen times,” said Seth.

Rochelle gasped and backed away. She felt dazed. “Two… two dozen times?” she asked. “Two fu*king dozen times? What… how… how could you…”

“In two years, Rochelle,” said Seth. “Two dozen times in two years. That’s… that’s not a lot that’s just… only when it got over powering.”

“That is once a fu*king month, Seth!” said Rochelle. “That’s every month for the past two years that you have been cheating on me. How the fu*k could you say that it was not a regular thing when it was literally happening every single month? Even if you didn’t do it every single month, it means that you had a lot of s*x that wasn’t with me. It was with other men. How many men, Seth? How many men have you fu*ked? Be fu*king honest. You could have… oh my fu*king God I think I’m going to throw up…”

Rochelle steadied herself and stood up. She looked at Seth again. “How many men, Seth?” she asked.

“Six,” said Seth after a long pause. He was looking at the floor. He couldn’t seem to look up at her. Rochelle was completely and utterly destroyed. Six men. He had had s*x with six other people while he had been with her.

“S-six men?” she asked. “Six fu*king men? Are you fu*king serious? You’ve had s*x with six other people while you have been with me? Do you not realize just how fu*ked up that is? What if… what if you fu*king caught something and gave it to me? I might have a fu*king disease now, Seth. I might… oh God…”

Rochelle rushed to the bathroom and threw up. She barely got to the commode but she was glad that she managed to do so. She heard Seth’s voice saying something but she couldn’t really tell what it was. She was too busy throwing up.

She got up and rested against the bathtub. She couldn’t stay here. Not anymore. She needed to get away. She needed to get out. The apartment was in Seth’s name, she couldn’t kick him out. Where could she possibly go?

She thought of the hotel. Yes, Alice would let her stay there. She wouldn’t force her to leave. She wouldn’t force her to go away. She wouldn’t tell her to go somewhere else. Yes, Alice would help her, even if no one else was willing to help her.

Rochelle pushed past Seth and stumbled out of the apartment. She ignored everything that he was saying. She could barely hear it anyway over the deafening noise of the chaos within her own mind. She couldn’t listen to him right now. She couldn’t even think about him without feeling nauseous and she probably would have thrown up again right now if she had anything in her stomach left to expel.

Seth tried to grab her as she was exiting the apartment but she turned around and scratched his face before walking away.

And so, she found herself in the cold rain. She was trying to get to the hotel. She was trying to get to the only place she would feel safe at all, the only place that would allow her to feel anything except for the immense grief that she was feeling right now. She needed to escape. She needed to get away. She needed to find a safe place where she could recuperate, where she could get over this enormous tragedy that had beset her life.

She needed somewhere to heal.