The Love Hotel

On the last day of her wait, however, she couldn’t help but feel worried. She couldn’t help but fear that everything she had fought for for so long might end up getting compromised. She worried that she was going to get a positive result for some disease and this would mean her life was going to change forever. She did not want this to be the case. She did not want to have to worry about this at all. She wanted to be care free, she wanted to be able to enjoy her life in a way that would allow her to feel good about herself. She wanted to enjoy her life in a way that would allow her to feel fulfilled, a way that would allow her to feel completely and utterly in tune with every single thing that was going on around her and in order to do that she was going to have to get negative test results.

And so she kept repeating to herself that everything happens for a reason, just in case it so happened that she would not be able to live life in a carefree manner, just in case she might end up getting positive test results for some disease and she would have to live the rest of her life struggling to fight off the shadow of this disease and all of the morbid things that it entailed. She did not want to have to fight so much but she had no choice. This was the way things worked.

She kept telling herself that everything happened for a reason so that in the event that she did end up having a disease, she would be able to take it in stride and simply move on. She would have to change a lot of things in her life but that was just the way it was meant to be if she did have a disease. Perhaps it would open the door to new possibilities.

At the same time she couldn’t help but think that having a disease like this might end up ruining her life completely, and this was a fair assessment all things considered.

She was worried as she stepped through the door of the hospital. She was worried out of her mind but she did not really care all that much. She was going to get through this no matter what it took.

The doctor came in, just as warm as he had been the last time she had seen him. His expression, however, was inscrutable. She could not tell just by looking at him whether the test results were positive or negative. It was quite the opposite. She wondered if this poker face meant that she might not have to worry at all. On the other hand, it might mean that the result was bad, and that she would have to change the rest of her life trying to keep up with the demands of a disease that was trying to take over her entire life in a merciless manner.

She felt her heartbeat rise. How bad could it be? Could there be more wrong right now? Could there be something else that was going on? She did not know what was going to happen. Could she have lots of different diseases, could it be so bad that she wouldn’t be able to live her life at all and would have to completely dedicate herself to simply staying alive? She did not want this to be the case. She did not want to have to go through this but this was the hand that God had dealt her. She knew that at the end of the day, she was going to get through it no matter what it was.

The doctor looked at her and said, “The results are back. And I am glad to say that you are completely clean.”

Rochelle didn’t know what to say. She was clean. What did this mean? The meaning was plain, of course, but her mind had gone numb, and she could not process what was going on right now. She was unable to understand what clean meant. The doctor had to explain to her that it meant that she had no diseases whatsoever and for a moment Rochelle sat in silence. Then, she got up suddenly, pulled the doctor into a tight embrace and began to dance. She danced like no one was watching, she felt happier than she had ever felt in her life. She felt like everything was going to be okay now. She felt like she was as light as a feather, that she was going to float away at any moment. She felt like she could conquer the entire world right now.