The Love Hotel

Her name was called out and she felt her heart beat in her chest. It felt like it was going to pop right out. She felt exhausted for some reason, she felt like she would not be able to stand up. She did not allow herself to feel this way, however. She did not allow herself to give up so easily. She got up and walked into the examination room.

When she got in there the doctor was waiting for her. He was bald on most of his head and wore completely round spectacles. He looked like he was perpetually out of breath. He seemed a rather comical figure all things considered, but Rochelle did not let this fool her. He had the air of a person that knew what he was doing, that did not let things make him feel like he couldn’t handle what was going on. Rochelle automatically respected him for some reason. She felt like he was the kind of guy that would be able to help her out of a tight jam if she was ever in one.

She smiled at the doctor as he said hello brightly. She sat down on the edge of the bed. “So,” said the doctor. “You need to get some tests done. May I ask why? Have you been s*xually active with someone who you have reason to believe might have a s*xually transmitted disease? The only reason that I ask is that the only other way you might have gotten it is through drug use, and if that is the case then I’m going to have to prescribe mandatory drug therapy.”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” said Rochelle. “My… my s*xual partner might have had something. He had been sleeping around recently and I just want to make sure…”

“You want to make sure that you haven’t caught anything that he has caught as a result of his activities?” said the doctor helpfully. He was smiling kindly and a little sadly. He did not pity her, however. He was looking at her in an admiring way. “It’s very brave of you to come here like this. You must be scared out of your mind but you are doing it anyway. And to do it in this situation… I know that it is none of my business but I think that you are a very courageous woman, Rochelle. I hope you don’t mind me calling you Rochelle?”

“Not at all,” said Rochelle. She felt light inside. Yet another person had thought that she was strong. Yet another person had thought that she was good enough to be called courageous. She couldn’t believe that this was the case. She couldn’t believe that she could be so strong that she would give off such an aura of strength. She felt blessed to be seen this way. She felt like she was finally the person that she had wanted to be all her life. It was such a privilege to become stronger in the face of adversity. Rochelle was starting to feel a lot better about herself every single minute. She was starting to feel like she was the kind of person that she had looked up to during her youth.

“Okay, so,” said the doctor, putting on gloves and getting down to business. “Let’s get to it, shall we? We’ll do this as quickly as possible. I’m going to take some samples and make sure that you don’t have any of the common diseases. Just in case I’m going to make sure that you don’t have any of the rarer diseases too. You never know what you might have. I wouldn’t worry too much though. I know it seems really difficult right now, I know it feels like your world is collapsing all around you, but it will all be okay soon. You’ll be okay. Whatever answer you get right now, it’s the answer that you are supposed to get, do you understand?”

“I understand,” said Rochelle. “Thank you.”

She was grateful that the doctor was so intensely professional. She was grateful that he was the kind of person that made it a habit to not just do the very basics that his job required of him, but reassure his patients too and make them feel like every single thing was going to be okay. She was glad that she had these people in her life, these random people that made her realize that everyone was not an asshole, that there were a great number of people out there that actually cared about her and wanted her to feel good. She felt like her road to recovery was going to be a lot easier than she had thought it was going to be. She realized that she was not going to have as hard a time of it as she had once thought she was going to have.

Once the tests were over, Rochelle got up and shook the doctors hand. She had honestly wanted to hug him but she had not wanted to make things weird. She decided that it would be best to be as professional as possible right now. The doctor was probably this way with all of his patients, he just did this to make his job easier, he had no idea just how much what he had said had meant to Rochelle. Still, he smiled back at her very warmly indeed and this made Rochelle happy.

She exited the hospital and was very happy indeed. She didn’t know what the results were going to be, and she was going to have to wait three whole days before she finally found out, but at the end of the day she had gotten this over with. The wait was going to end up being excruciating but it would end eventually, and when it ended she was going to find out one way or another what the rest of her life was going to be like. She was going to discover all of the things that she was going to have to deal with, and once that was true she was going to have an easier time of it even if it did turn out that she had, indeed, caught something from her cheating boyfriend, at least she knew that other people believed she had the strength to face all of this on her own. She needed that. She had had no idea just how much she had needed that but need it she had and now she knew.

She got into a taxi and chatted animatedly with the taxi driver as they moved towards the hotel. She was very glad that everything was turning out the way it was. It had been difficult to get over the fact that Seth had done this to her, but at the end of the day that was just how life went sometimes. You had to take what was given to you, and if it ever got too difficult you could always take a break. She was glad that this had happened in a way, because it had allowed her to break out of her own shell in order to survive. And now, she had lots of hours left to enjoy in her day off. She intended to use these hours as much as she possibly could. She intended to make it so that she would always have time for the things she loved.

When she finally got back to her hotel room, she made herself some noodles and watched TV in her pajamas. She didn’t worry about anything else. The next day she had work, but that was something that she could deal with. That was something she could enjoy. And that meant, for now, Rochelle could be happy.

*****

Everything happens for a reason. This was what Rochelle constantly told herself as she went to the hospital. The first couple of days had passed by fairly well. She had not really cared about anything that had happened. She had not really cared about the fact that she was about to get the test results because she knew she didn’t really have any control over this at all. She knew at the end of the day, she would have to deal with whatever happened and that would mean worrying beforehand was going to do her no good.