The Lion’s Mail Order Menage

“That’s what this was, too.  You don’t know what it’s like to be me and him.  Things just aren’t the same for us.  It gets lonely.  It gets to be so lonely it makes a man feel like he could go crazy and I thought this could get rid of all of that.”

“But why like this?  Why couldn’t you just find some piece of ass around these parts and make her your girl?  People do it all the time, Tyler.  They do it every goddamned day without going to the internet and buying themselves a permanent piece of pu*sy.”

“I just figured this way they would never get let down.”

Geno looked at him closely, so closely that Tyler started to squirm, but his eyes had begun to soften some and it looked to Tyler like the very worst of the confrontation was most likely over.  He knew this look.  It was the look when he wanted to understand a thing from the inside out, when he wanted to understand it so well it was like a piece of his own heart.  That meant he was unlikely to get really angry again, but it also meant he wasn’t done asking his questions.

“Explain that.”

“Explain what?”

“Explain what you just said.  How do you mean that this way the broads won’t get let down?”

“Just that it’s the way things go between women and men, isn’t it?  The women always wanting things you can’t give, getting those looks on their faces letting you know that this is not the life they wanted.  I don’t want to be the reason a woman has that look on her face.  I figured this way we would be taking them away from lives so bad that when they got here they would be happy.  That maybe we could go about it without all of that built up anger and awful sh*t that gets between two people.”

“I see.  Well, it doesn’t make you any less of a fool, but at least you’re a fool with your heart in the right place.  This is coming from your folks, isn’t it?  From watching the way things went down between the two of them.”

“Sure, my folks and Caleb’s folks, too.  Things weren’t no good there, not for either of us.”

“And did you tell him any of this?  Did you explain yourself?  I’m assuming he couldn’t remember.  That kid can’t drink for sh*t.”

“No, he didn’t remember.  And I talked him through it.”

“Oh, I’m sure you did.  But did you explain it to him the way you just did me, or did you hit him over the head and bully him like is your normal way?”

“Is that my normal way?”

“You know it is, Tyler.  You should tell him.  You should tell him just the same way you told me and see if it don’t soften his heart a little bit.  But Tyler, I need to make something very, very clear.  Are you listening to me?”

“I’m listening.”

“Right now this is a messy situation, but it’s your messy situation.  You best see that it doesn’t become my messy situation.  I don’t think you’ll like the way I handle things.”

“I got it.  I’ll keep it under wraps.”

“And bring the girls by to see us sometime, you know?  Let me scope them out for myself.  Maybe it’ll help put an old man’s paranoid mind at ease.  That would probably be in all of our best interests.”

“Sure thing, boss.  I can do that.”

Tyler was going to say something more, but a buzzing by his side made him stop and look down.  It was Caleb calling.  The two of them had gone for five days and five nights without speaking, the longest they had ever gone in their entire lives. 

It had made him feel the way he thought women must feel when they were waiting for a man to call and for the first few days it had eaten him up inside.  He had thought about it every waking moment and then dreamed about it as well.  Slowly, he had started to adapt, but it still drove him crazy not to know what he could do to fix this thing. 

Caleb had never been this strong in his stand against him so when he saw his name flash across his phone he knew that something big must have happened in order for him to break his silence.  He felt a kind of dull fear in his bones and creeping up his limbs and he looked at Geno desperately, needing to take the call but also knowing that he couldn’t simply get up and go without being dismissed.

Fortunately for him, Geno was a benevolent dictator who wanted fences mended between his people.  All he did was look at the phone, see Caleb’s name, and nod that yes, he was free to go.  Tyler would have been embarrassed by how quickly he jumped up to answer it if his mind hadn’t been so singularly occupied by the call he needed to answer, but at the moment it was all he could focus on.

He picked up his glass of scotch and headed for the back of the little Italian joint, noting with satisfaction how the employees all scattered as he came through.  When he got to a spot where he could hear and knew he wouldn’t be disturbed, he picked up the phone, disgusted with how nervous he felt.

“Hey, brother.  Long time no hear.”

“I know.  I’m sorry, man.  It’s like I told you, I needed some time to get my head on straight.”

“And did you manage it? Is it on straight?”

“Well, it’s on, so that’s a start.”

“Listen, I shouldn’t have handled things that way, OK?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t think I should have done the thing because I do.  Hell, I would do it again today and not be sorry for it.  But I could have walked you through it better, I guess I can see that now.”

“Oh yeah, who brought you to that conclusion?”

“Geno.  He was pretty pissed about what I did.  Definitely not a fan of my plan.”

“Well, are you surprised?”

“No, not really.  I guess I do kind of just do things, don’t I?  Anyway, he chewed me out good.  You’d be proud.  I doubt he left anything left unsaid, although I’m sure if you think of something he’d be glad to bring me in for round two.”

“No, I don’t want to do anything like that, Tyler.  I’m not angry anymore.  That’s not why I called.”

“No?  Well then, what’s up?  And don’t say nothing because I can tell something is going on for sure.  You have that sound in your voice.”

For a moment, Tyler thought that he might not tell him, that things were different between them for real, for good.  But then he heard his sigh, that one that was most often accompanied by a hand running absentmindedly through his hair, and he knew the two of them weren’t at that point.  At least not yet.

“I called because your package has arrived.”