The Jaguar’s Arranged Mate

Beric’s heart sank. Somehow, he managed to stay by Miera’s side until she fell asleep. Although he didn’t want to leave her, he did. He rushed to track down her doctor and her baby.

Another doctor prevented him from going inside the room. “We’re doing everything we can.”

“He was crying,” Beric protested. “He sounded like he had healthy lungs.”

“His lungs are underdeveloped. His heart seems to be working too hard. He’s small, very small. He… You and Miera need to be prepared.”

“Prepared for what?”

“Prepared that the baby might not live.”

*

Miera woke and slept and woke and slept, and when she was awake, Lisa and Beric shoved food and drink at her until she was asleep again. They spoke over her, not letting her talk or ask questions, and after it started happening for a fifth time, she knew for certain that she had been right, and her fear was legitimate.

The baby was not going to make it.

She turned aside as Beric held a banana up for her to eat. “No bananas,” she said crossly. Bananas reminded her of labor.

“I’m sorry. Do you want some rabbit? There’s a little bit—”

“I want…” She turned and smiled at Lisa. “Can we have a moment?”

Lisa grabbed Nurse Carla’s arm. “Of course.”

Miera waited for them to leave to glower at her husband. “Tell me the truth. Does the baby… Is he…”

“He’s alive, yes.”

But his eyes and expression said what his lips didn’t.

“For now. How much longer do they think he has? A day? A week? Hours?” She struggled to sit up straighter.

He helped her and put a pillow behind her backside before stepping back. “They are doing everything they can.”

“But…” She shook her head. “Beric, I have to know.”

“That’s all I know.” He grimaced. “They don’t care that I’m alpha of the Teal Warriors or that I’m your husband. They won’t tell me anything. I’ve tried. Not that I’ve left your side for long,” he rushed to add.

Despite herself, she almost smiled.

“Your father has been here. It’s possible he might know more, but I don’t think he’s around right now. I can go and find a doctor and bring one here to talk to you. They might tell you.”

“They wouldn’t… If he was about to…” She couldn’t get words out, too afraid and upset.

“I’m sure they would bring him straight to you if…”

She swallowed hard. In her delirium after giving birth, when she had seen how premature the baby was, she hadn’t wanted to hold him, too afraid she’d hurt him. She knew then what she knew now. Her baby had come too early to survive. Her baby was going to die.

And she hadn’t wanted to bear the pain of holding her son only to lose him.

But now, she hated herself for that choice. Because the doctors were trying their hardest to keep her baby alive, and if she were selfish and had him brought to her now, it might jeopardize their efforts. She might have missed her chance.

She might never get to hold her son while he lived.

Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to cry. This was her fault. She had pushed herself too hard. She had fought in too many battles. She had endangered their lives again and again. What had she thought would happen?

And not only that, she had been irresponsible in getting pregnant in the first place.

Miera cleared her throat. The time to talk to him about her past had come. “I met a were-jaguar one time in the woods. I was in my jaguar form, hunting down a tapir, when a lion came along and tried to fight me for it. The lion was huge, massive, the largest I ever saw, and it was wearing me down.”

“What happened?” Beric crossed his arms.

She was tired of having to look up at him, so she shifted over in the bed and patted beside her. He gingerly sat next to her. “I’m not made of glass.”

Beric put an arm around her, and she wanted so badly to rest her head on his chest, but this conversation wasn’t a romantic one. It was long overdue, but he wasn’t going to appreciate it.

“What happened?” he asked again.

“Another jaguar came out of nowhere and helped to slay the lion. We actually took down the huge lion. It was incredible. An amazing rush. The brush with death… Such a rush, and well… sometimes… You know how it is.” She squirmed uncomfortably.

“The need to have s*x afterward can be overwhelming.”

That he said it for her relieved her. “Exactly. During the fight with the lion, I didn’t even realize at first that he was a were-jaguar too. But then afterward… yes. Yeah, we had s*x. And it wasn’t planned, and neither of us had condoms with us, obviously, and… well, you know the rest. I got pregnant.”

“And now you’re a mother.”

She sighed. Yes, her bre*sts were sore and engorged with milk, and she was trying to recover from pushing a baby out, even a teeny tiny one, so yes, her body was definitely that of a mother’s, but she didn’t feel like one yet, not in her heart.

Miera continued, “We talked for a little bit after, and I thought I would never see him again. That that would be it. Nothing more. I never wanted him to be the father of my child. I never wanted him to be a part of my life. I walked away from him.”

“You walked away…” Beric said slowly.

“Yes.” She shifted uncomfortably again. “He asked me to stay with him right then and there. I never considered it, of course. I couldn’t leave my pack, not with being on the council and being heir.”

“But if you hadn’t been, not on the council, not the heir, would you have considered going with him? Running off with him?” His questions weren’t forceful, but she could tell he was a little on edge.