The Jaguar’s Arranged Mate

Chapter 5

  Beric approached Miera. In her grief, she was now in a half-human, half-were state. He shifted himself to human and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She was trembling. From anger or grief? He couldn’t tell.

Slowly, she became solely human. Brushing her brother’s hair back from his forehead, she asked in a quiet, numb-sounding voice, “What happened?”

“We were ambushed. There was no sign of them, no tracks, nothing. They tried to mask their scent even. We barely realized they were near before they attacked and it all happened so fast and…” Beric took a deep breath. Would the whole truth help or hurt her? “Your brother was very brave. He killed two himself. One of those… he saved my life.”

“He sacrificed himself for you?” Miera’s voice was hardly audible.

“Yes. I’m sorry. One sneaked up behind me. I hadn’t realized and… I never wanted him to. If I thought… It was just supposed to be a simple scouting expedition. If I thought we would actually engage them, I would have brought others with or not gone at all…”

“It’s all your fault Matthias is dead!” She flew at him, beating his chest with her fists. Better her fists than her claws.

He accepted the abuse, standing as still as a statue, not flinching away. Gradually, her blows came slower, and he covered her fists with his hands. He lowered their joined hands to their sides then pulled her close to embrace her. Rubbing her back, he murmured over and over again, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Miera huddled against him. When she took a shuddering breath, she stared up at him. The raw pain in her eyes, the tears stuck in her eyelashes… she looked so beautiful in her mourning.

Without thinking, he leaned down and kissed her. She didn’t hesitate to respond. Sometimes, after battle, the desire to rejoin those still living meant s*x. While Beric wouldn’t dare go that far with her—not after what had happened with her brother—hopefully a few kisses wouldn’t be remiss, especially if she was willing.

So kiss her he did. Repeatedly. Soon, they were both panting, and the bulge in his pants was becoming uncomfortable. He had to force himself not to rub against her.

All too quickly she pushed him away. “I can’t… We shouldn’t…”

“I’m sorry.” He winced. Was that all he was going to say to her?

“I just…” She backed away from him, stared down at her brother, and then tore back toward the Teal Warriors’ compound.

Beric started after her. As much as he wanted to race after her, he couldn’t. With a heavy heart, he backtracked and picked up Matthias’s body. He wasn’t about to leave his comrade behind. It made for slow going, the trip back home, carrying the weight of a dead were-jaguar across his shoulders. Each step jarred him and his injured body.

By the time he reached the compound, he was ready to collapse. He handed Matthias over to the guards. As he was ushered toward their small hospital, he realized he didn’t see Miera’s car anywhere. She had fled.

Everything in the world was all twisted and dark, and maybe even joining their packs wouldn’t help any. Maybe they would all be like Matthias soon—dead and gone.

*

 Beric hadn’t meant anything by his kisses, by his gentle touch. She knew that, understood that. But she didn’t want to be comforted right now. She didn’t want affection. She wanted to feel her rage. She wanted to lash out.

So Miera ran away. Maybe it was the cowardly thing to do, and she could already feel herself fill with self-loathing for leaving her brother’s body behind. But she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him like that. And she didn’t want to see Beric either. His face would only serve to remind her of the battle and all she had lost. Matthias had been her only sibling, and while they teased each other constantly, they had loved each other, would do anything for the other.

And now he was gone.

She drove aimlessly. Returning home would mean she would have to explain what had happened to Matthias, and she just wasn’t up for that yet. After an hour, her car was running low on gas, so she pulled into a gas station. Inside, she paid, ignored the curious stare of the cashier who had noticed her torn and blood-stained clothes, and then rushed to the bathroom. She vomited. That had not been her first battle. Immediately after her first, she had gotten sick. This was different. This wasn’t from the blood or the violence or grief or anything like that.

No. She feared she knew why she was sick.

Miera exited the bathroom, made a quick purchase, and returned to it. It took less than a minute for the stick to give her the result she already knew.

She was pregnant.

Oh, no. This could destroy everything. All the planning for herself and for Beric. The unity of their packs. The only chance her people might have for potentially surviving the tank that was the Brutal Claws.

How this happened… there was no point in reflecting on that. And she couldn’t even think about not keeping the baby. Were-jaguars honored life above all—that is, innocent life. The babe was not at fault.

She closed her eyes and wept. When someone knocked on the door, she called out that she would be only a moment, quickly washed her face, and left. It wasn’t until after nightfall that she returned home, and she avoided everyone in favor of going to bed. Somehow, sleep easily came to her even though she had been certain that would not be the case.

***

Miera woke ten hours later but felt like she hadn’t slept for more than two. With a groan, she got out of bed, washed and dressed, and sought out her father. He was eating breakfast with a few of the council members.

“We need to have a meeting,” she said without preamble.

“Now?” He gestured for her to sit.

“Yes, now.” A part of her wanted to eat everything on the table—bacon and sausage, ham and cheese omelets, pancakes and waffles, toast and rolls—but another part of her knew that eating might not be such a good idea right now.