The Height Of Happiness

Chapter 9

            The plane ride felt longer than the commercial flight, even though the trip was four hours shorter than the trek she took on the jumbo plane across the nation. Serena was in tears the whole time, but the stewardess respectfully tucked herself away in her own cabin to leave Serena in peace. Fear of further embarrassment had held her waterworks back before, but these two strangers had non-disclosure agreements and no reason to judge her. Watching some black and white film, Serena used up the whole box of travel tissues in a cabin big enough to hold nineteen other people plus the minibar near the plane door and the luxurious bathroom in the back.

            The look on Edward’s face as she left haunted her. It took a lot for him to show such pain. Serena found that they were both proud people, and that aspect of their personalities typically kept them from showing their negative emotions.

He had slumped against the front door and reached out to Serena, but she didn’t let him touch her, and Edward was left to shove his hands into his pants pockets. He wasn’t able to see her behind the tinted glass, but Serena saw him, his eyes were dull as if they’d lost their light. As the driver put her bag in the car, she watched him break. His demeanor reminded her of shattered glass. Edward stood all in one piece, but he now existed in a million different fragments trying not to collapse.

That image still burned into her mind. She closed her eyes on the flight, and saw only him looking defeated. Once again, Serena was breaking his heart, but she didn’t know what to do. Every sinew inside her body told her to go. Serena had to obey.

If she hadn’t been in such distress, the flight would have been a thrill. It was the Summerfields family plane. Politicians, celebrities, and olympic athletes had all sat it the fuselage of this aircraft. European aristocracy could have been seated in the same luxurious seat where Serena sat in that moment, but it did not matter to her. She could not shake the waves of horror and regret that washed over her the whole ride home.

In the weeks that followed, Serena fell into a slump. Her heart became burdened with so many hypotheticals she concocted during her time alone. Her work kept her busy, but Serena didn’t feel the same joy she once had for the work. It all seemed lonely, and the winter weather kept her from doing too much. She was home early and was able to rise late. Other people would consider it a luxury, but Serena just noticed in those lulls how empty everything was.

She imagined herself like a person who had never seen color. Her life had been gray, but she hadn’t known the colors that she was missing. She was ignorant to the rainbow the world held, and those prismatic colors came alive with someone else in her life. Now, her world was back to gray as her phone stayed silent and conversation stopped between them.

Wanting to reach out, Serena couldn’t determine if he was waiting for her call or if he didn’t want to hear from her. She’d left in such a huff, maybe he’d taken it as a sign that things were over. Maybe Edward was too embarrassed. These were the thoughts plaguing her mind as she made breads, soups, and desserts, and then ate them alone.

Winter had gone on longer than usual, which meant the soil would be good for the harvest. The other side meant Serena had to wait longer than usual. There was no toiling in the earth to clear her mind. She just looked out at it as she wrapped herself in a blanket on the farmhouse porch.

It reached the point that Serena wasn’t sleeping well. At night, she would try to come up with ideas of how she could change things. She even thought about offering to sell Belle and Beau to Summerfields if it meant that he would come back, Serena would do just about anything. And the house felt less and less like a home.

It was Sunday where a storm passed through the county. The remnants of a Nor’easter had whipped down south, and it kept everyone locked away inside. Lightning flashed in the distant sky, while cold rain poured down, washing away remnants of snow still tucked into little piles in the shaded corners of the hills.

Serena tried to watch the news channel on her television, but it felt too difficult. She’d only slept for a few hours the night before. Fighting her fatigue, she finally gave up. Serena let her head fall back on the pillow. Passing out from exhaustion on her living room sofa, she wandered back out to California in her dreams.

She stood there amongst the valley of the Sonoma winery, which Edward called his childhood home. Out on the stone patio, he sat on a chaise lounge waiting for her. She tried running up the hillside, but it took ages. After all the time she wasted climbing, he’d disappeared.

Serena suddenly went through the doors and found herself in a crowded room. Everyone whispered her name, and Serena just wanted to wash them all away. When those familiar green eyes caught her searching gaze, he turned away only to stand with a devilish woman dressed in a scarlet red gown that seemed to melt into the floor. She smiled wickedly at Serena, and she knew that this demon was ruining her life. Her chance for redemption and happiness was being thwarted by her.

Finally, she was old and alone. She stood over the grave of her family. It was a grand family crypt that didn’t exist, but Serena entered it. Shrouded in black, she looked to see the names of everyone she loved all in an eternal sleep around her. In the center was Edward, and he was frozen in time. Like a sleeping prince, something told her that she could wake him with a kiss. However, as she leaned down the world went black.

She was never able to wake him up.

Serena couldn’t find her happy ending.

“Serena! Serena!” someone called out to her from reality.

She opened her eyes to see her grandfather standing over her. Robert Beauchene sat down at the other end of the couch with a very concerned look on his face.

“Princess, you were crying in your sleep. I could hear you shouting from the porch. You even scared your poor cat into the closet.”