The Heart Wants What It Wants

It sounded amazing. It was nice to dream of a time when she could just do that. But she just smiled and shrugged.

“We’ll see. I do have to work, you know. And I do have responsibilities.”

“I know. I could fly you out for the weekend again. It wouldn’t be such a long flight, and the time difference wouldn’t be so exhausting. Are you all right? Should we go back to the hotel?”

She was beginning to flag a little. It felt like she had been awake forever.

“No, I’m fine. I can catch up on sleep next week.”

“You will collapse if you don’t get an early night tonight. Come on, why don’t we take a walk, get some dinner, and then go back to the hotel?”

They’d been walking since forever, or so it seemed to her, but she nodded, and she was glad she did, because the walk turned out to be by the river, and there were ducks to make her coo and smile. The dinner wasn’t at a fancy restaurant like it had been in the morning – it was a bowl of Ramen at a smaller place, where everything seemed to taste better than it had during the expensive lunch.

“This is amazing,” she told him, making him laugh again.

“You are easy to please, Diana.”

“No. Am I? I don’t think so. What pleases you?”

“Right now, seeing your eyes sparkle like that, does. And seeing you not giving up on the chopsticks.”

Diana sighed. She’d been hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. She’d been valiantly trying to get the noodles into her mouth for the last three minutes and she hadn’t been particularly successful.

“It’s rude to point that out.”

“I suppose it is. But see, you’ll find it easier if you hold them like this.”

He demonstrated, without making her feel like an idiot, and she found that maybe it wouldn’t be impossible to get the knack of it if she did it as he showed her. She was triumphant, even if her fingers felt like they were beginning to cramp, when she finally managed it.

“You’re a very quick learner. Now, how do you feel about dessert?”

“I shouldn’t.”

“After all that walking, a little sin is allowed, isn’t it?”

Sin. Was he talking about food? Because suddenly, she was not thinking about food at all.

“Oh… Well, I guess…”

“Daifuku. We’ll have daifuku.”

The soft rice cakes with sweet centers were the most delicate and gorgeous things she had ever eaten, decided Diana after a few minutes.

 She closed her eyes, and let herself savor every bit of it, and when she opened her eyes, he had that look on his face again.

“You liked that.”

“I did. That’s amazing.”

“It’s a joy to watch you accept pleasure.”

There, again. He wasn’t just talking about food, was he?

He couldn’t be.

“I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve always loved food.”

“I find it charming. You enjoy pleasure. Isn’t that something to celebrate? Food is wonderful. A day like this, an evening like this – it’s a gift. Why shouldn’t we enjoy it? We should enjoy every day of our lives.”

Diana smiled.

“I agree. I try to. You know, you’d get along pretty well with Alex. She’s my best friend. She’s the one who told me I’d be an idiot if I didn’t come. She said she already likes you much better than any guy I’ve dated before.”

Diana could have stuffed a boiled egg in her mouth after she heard the words that had come tumbling out of her stupid big mouth.

“I’m flattered. I’m afraid I don’t really have a best friend like that. My life has been mostly about work.”

“But you were married.”

“It didn’t work out, did it? Probably because my life has been mostly about work. I haven’t found many things that can be as illuminating and challenging as my work is. People are fickle and unpredictable. Code does what I want it to do, and if it doesn’t, I can find a way to make it work.”

“But you have to be good with people and networking to become this successful.”

George shrugged.

“Maybe. But I got lucky – at the right place at the right time.”

“What about your family? They must be very proud of you.”

He’d never really talked about his family before.

“It’s just me and Estelle – my sister. She lives in Spain. Married, two kids, living the dream, she tells me. It doesn’t sound like much of a dream to me, but she’s happy. That’s what matters.”

“Yes, I guess it is. Don’t you see her often?”

“I’m invited for all the holidays, but I don’t see her as often as I should. But Estelle is… Well, if she decides you’re family, you have to stay in touch with her. She won’t give you a choice. She loves people. She loves all people.”

“Did she like your wife?”

George grinned.

“Maybe not.”

This time, Diana wished she could have swallowed her tongue. She didn’t know why she’d asked that. Asking about his family was one thing. Asking about his ex-wife, and how his family felt about his ex-wife – that was another thing.

But there were so many things she wanted to know about him. She wanted to know everything about him.

With every moment she spent with this man, she liked him more and more. He treated her like… No, not like a princess. He expected her to have an opinion, and he respected it.

But there was no question of who was in charge. That was George. He was a man who was always in charge.

When he decided it was time to leave, she didn’t question him. She was tired.

But she wasn’t sleepy.

Different rooms. They were in different rooms. But should they be?

Diana knew that when he touched her, even took her hand, she felt more than she had ever felt before.

Still, she had her rules.

It just felt like her rules about dates and how long you should know a guy before sleeping with him seemed irrelevant because none of them applied to what was happening between them.

“Penny for your thoughts,” said George again on their way back, and she smiled.

“I don’t know. I’m just… Have you ever done this before?”

“Done what?”

“Fly somebody out to spend a weekend with you.”

There was silence for a long moment. Diana was beginning to feel like she had really overstepped when he finally said what she wanted to hear.

“No. No, I’ve never done this before. You’re the only woman I’ve wanted like this.”

Diana looked at him, her eyes wide, and she knew that they wouldn’t be sleeping in separate rooms. Rules didn’t matter.