The Fighter Pilot’s Baby

Chapter 3

Bianca walked out of the doctor’s office in a daze. She couldn’t believe what he had told her. It didn’t make sense, but she guessed it wasn’t supposed to make any sense; she was only thirty. Unfairness ringing through her, she thought back to when she walked out of the school and drove straight to her appointment, two hours early. She didn’t care that she was early. Being home alone and wondering if she was dying from cancer was not an option. Bianca needed to be in that office until they called her name, even if it meant she sat there fretting about what may or may not happen for two hours.

When she arrived at the doctor’s office, the receptionist greeted her with confusion; she was two hours early after all. Bianca waved to her and took a seat in the far corner, clutching her purse to her chest tightly. The purse was acting as a shield to her heart, protecting her rioting emotions and fear of the unknown. She stayed that way for almost an hour, her arms cramping. Only then did she relax a bit, her appointment time drawing nearer. Every so often the receptionists and nurses would give her a strange look but she ignored it. It’s not like she was doing anything wrong. The last time she checked it wasn’t illegal to show up for an appointment two hours early. Finally setting her purse down, Bianca stole another glance at the clock, forty-five minutes left. She had the sudden urge to call Alex. The odd stirring to call him for support surprised her. There were many reasons why she shouldn’t even consider calling him. First, they just met, she barely knew him and he her. What would he think if she called him and asked him to meet her at a doctor’s appointment? He would probably think that she must be desperate or that she doesn’t have any friends. The last reason was obvious, she told him to leave her alone for a while yet she wanted to contact him? It didn’t even make sense when she thought about it so it definitely wouldn’t make sense to him.

With a sigh, she settled back in her chair, resisting the urge to snatch her phone from her purse and dial his number. The next forty-five minutes passed with agitation and Bianca fighting the need to call Alex. She had given up on sitting still and paced and roamed the room and halls of the building until ten minutes before her appointment. Just as she returned into the office a nurse walked out and called her name. She didn’t miss the look of pity that crossed the woman’s face before she turned and began down the hall. Bianca followed, terror clenching her heart at the prospect that she could be dying from cancer. The nurse led her into a small, sparsely decorated, pastel walled exam room. She motioned for Bianca to sit on the exam table. In silence, the nurse took Bianca’s blood pressure and other vitals, told her to relax, and left the room. Bianca scowled at her back as she retreated. I’ll relax when this is all over, she thought, wringing her hands.

Another twenty minutes passed before the doctor entered the exam room. By that point Bianca was wound so tight with agitation she felt like she would snap at the slightest movement.

“Bianca,” Dr. Gabriel began, shuffling papers in the folder on her desk, “How are you?”

Bianca scowled; she had the nerve to make Bianca come all the way to the office, and scared her half to death to ask how she was doing? Fighting the desire to snap at her, Bianca took a deep breath before she answered.

“I’m not exactly doing well right now,” Bianca replied, wringing her hands in her lap again. “The call from the nurse rattled me a bit and I had to leave work extra early because I was so distracted. I’d appreciate if you would just let me know what is wrong with me.”

The edge in Bianca’s voice was noticeable, but she didn’t have time for pleasantries, she just wanted to know what the hell was wrong with her.

Dr. Gabriel cleared her throat and ran a hand through her short, salt and pepper hair, frowning. “Okay then, we’ll get right to it. After looking over all of the tests we ran, the results indicate that your body is going into early menopause.”

Relief swamped Bianca at the revelation that she didn’t have cancer, only to be followed by grief at the reality of what Dr. Gabriel had just said. Menopause? That meant no babies, which meant her dream wouldn’t be realized. Bianca bowed her head, a single tear trickling down her face and onto her lap. Taking a deep breath she looked up.

Choking back a sob, Bianca turned her attention back to the doctor, her head swimming with questions. “What does this mean for me and my reproductive future?” She asked, swiping under her eye at another wayward tear. Crying wouldn’t fix what was wrong with her.

“You have a few options,” Dr. Gabriel explained. “We can give you hormones and you can do invitro and get pregnant now, you can freeze your eggs, or you can do the hormone therapy and wait to see what will happen. I usually recommend freezing eggs in this situation and doing the hormone therapy just to keep your options open.” The doctor finished speaking and looked at Bianca expectantly.

She wants me to make a decision now? She thought, suddenly re-thinking her decision to see this doctor. She was awfully pushy.

“I think I’m going to need some time to think about this. I’ll call the office and make an appointment to do whatever it is I decide.” Bianca stood, gathering her purse and sweater, and started toward the door, “Thanks.”

The doctor nodded, “Take care.”

Bianca exited the room, heading towards reception to check out. She was on autopilot, her mind racing with the options and what it all meant. All the way home she tried to make a decision about what to do. She didn’t want to wait too long, even with the hormone therapy. The fear of not being able to have a child would weigh on her every day. The sperm donor option just wasn’t something she wanted. She wanted a father for her child and raising a baby alone wasn’t something she wanted to do, although if that was her only option to have a child she would consider it. Freezing her eggs felt like the right choice, even if her body betrayed her even more and she couldn’t have a baby the traditional way in a few years, maybe freezing her eggs would give her and her future husband the option to have a baby anyway.