The Fighter Pilot’s Baby

*****

Bianca walked around in a funk for three days. How could she miss someone so much that she just met? She was being ridiculous. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror she patted her hair, the natural curls framing her heart shaped face. Today was her first day back to work and she didn’t want to be late or make a bad impression because she was hoping they would hire her as a full time teacher when she had finished her classes. She loved being a teacher’s aide for the kindergarten class but it would be so much nicer to have her own class and make lessons. Two more classes of student teaching left and she would be a teacher. One last pat of her hair and she was ready. Snatching her bag and purse from the counter as she walked by, Bianca made her way out the door with a lot of time to spare. She hated being late, it gave her anxiety.

Once in the car, she began to think about Alex again, driving on autopilot to the school she had been a teacher’s assistant at for four years. Why was she torturing herself by staying away from him? That’s right, self preservation. Too many times had she been burned by jumping into a relationship too soon. But this feels so different, she thought as she pulled into a parking spot behind the school. Sighing, Bianca looked out over the playground where the little ones were having morning recess. It was more of a way for the parents to drop off and the kids to burn some energy before they had to be inside all day. The school was tiny, kindergarten through third grade with only one classroom for each grade, but she loved the school and the faculty and didn’t want to be anywhere else. Bianca waved at the kindergarten teacher she worked with, Mrs. Jensen, as she approached the school.

“Good morning, Bianca,” She called, wrangling children into a line.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jensen,” Bianca responded, the woman was old enough to be her grandmother and Bianca felt strange calling her by her first name.

The old woman smiled, patting her bluish gray helmet of curls as she hurried the children inside. Bianca’s heels clacked on the concrete as she made her way around the front of the school. She didn’t have to wear heels to be a teacher’s assistant but it made her feel more professional. The front office was abuzz as Bianca entered the building. The school secretary was signing kids in late already and taking parent packets while the children talked noisily, catching up with friends they missed all summer. Bianca waved at them and signed in, then hurried down the hall to her classroom. When she entered the room, Mrs. Jensen was gathering the kids around the carpet for the announcements and prayer. Bianca slipped into the small back room that Mrs. Jensen used for an office and locked her purse and bag inside of the closet. She smiled broadly at the little faces that greeted her when she took her place on the carpet next to Mrs. Jensen. Their eyes were wide with wonder, excitement and some fear at their first full day of school as ‘big kids’. Bianca just loved teaching kindergarten and even though it was a lot of work she enjoyed every minute of it.

After announcements and the pledge, Bianca began to set up the first activity while Mrs. Jensen herded the children to the tables. She set out paint and aprons and began to pour it into the cups set into the six easels at the back of the room. Needing more red paint, Bianca walked back to the closet where her purse was stored, hoping there was a second bottle. Mrs. Jensen was notorious for ordering supplies too late and they went without certain colors for months at a time in previous classes. Just as she was about to close the closet after locating and retrieving the paint, Bianca’s phone rang. Normally she wouldn’t answer her phone at work, but she was expecting a call from her doctor sometime this week with test results. Figuring that was likely the call she set the paint down on the floor and answered her phone.

“Hello?” She answered, hoping it was the doctor with her results.

For several months Bianca was having issues with her reproductive health. She would miss periods, have them for a long time or they would be so bad she had to call off from work due to cramping and excessive bleeding. Something was wrong and she had the desire to figure it out now so that having children wasn’t an obstacle later.

“Hello, is this Bianca Mason?” The person asked.

“Yes. What can I help you with?” Bianca wondered, getting nervous.

“This is Amanda calling from Dr. Gabriel’s office. I have some test results for you but the doctor would prefer for you to come in person to discuss everything and your options.” The woman explained without pausing or taking a breath.

“Um, okay. I’m at work now but I’ll see if I can get off a bit earlier for the appointment.” Bianca’s heart sank. This was not a good sign.

She talked with the nurse for a bit longer, making an appointment for late afternoon and hung up. Her heart was aching at the possibility that it was really bad news and she had cancer or something terrible. Unable to focus on work, Bianca floated through the morning with her head in the proverbial clouds. After over pouring juice in two of the children’s cups at lunch time Mrs. Jensen spoke up.

“Bianca, dear, what’s wrong?” She asked, resting her hand on Bianca’s forearm in a motherly fashion.

Bianca forced a smile, “I’m a bit distracted. I’m sorry. I have an important doctor’s appointment this afternoon and I’m a bit shook up about it.” She responded, her throat getting tight.

“Oh dear. Maybe you better head on home then. I think we will be okay without you the rest of the day,” Mrs. Jensen said, gesturing around the room.

“If you’re sure I think I’ll take you up on that,” Bianca agreed, walking to the back room to gather her things.

“I hope that everything turns out ok, dear. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mrs. Jensen waved goodbye as Bianca slid from the room.

On her way out, she stopped by the front office and spoke with the secretary about what was happening and they both agreed she would be better off at home. Smiling in thanks, Bianca waved goodbye and headed out the door, her heart aching at the possibility that something serious was wrong with her.