The Dragon’s E-Mail Order Menage

Her face looked stricken and now it was his turn to put a comforting hand on her back, rubbing it lightly and hoping that it provided her with some kind of solace. She would probably go, he didn’t think he had been wrong about that, but he could tell she had heard enough about his parents by now not to be thrilled at the prospect of meeting them.

Oh well, nothing he could do about that, was there? And it wasn’t like it would have been any better if she had some view of the Phipps as being this lovely, friendly couple only to be blindsided by what they were really like the second she saw them standing in front of her. No, this was better. Honesty. And so far, he had been honest.

There was just the little matter of the baby Maggie didn’t know his parents were waiting for her to have. For fu*k’s sake! How was he supposed to broach that topic with her? They hadn’t even said I love you and he was supposed to tell her to pop out a kid so he wouldn’t be locked out of his massive inheritance?

No matter how you tried to spin a thing like that, there was no way to say it without coming off as a complete di*k. No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her that part, not yet. The funny thing was, he did want to have a baby with her. He had never thought of himself as the kind of guy who would want kids at all, but at this point, the idea of having a baby with her seemed pretty amazing.

But he couldn’t figure out how to say that and also say that it was something his parents were trying to force on him. She would think that the money was the only thing he really wanted and he couldn’t let her feel the way he knew that would make her feel. No, when it came to all things baby, he was going to keep his mouth shut, at least for now. He would just have to hope that his parents were smart enough (or drunk enough, whichever one worked better) not to bring it up either.

And he didn’t honestly think that they would. He thought that they would probably do what they always did with people they were meeting for the first time, which was to charm them in a way that wasn’t real but was far more attractive than the truth. That was what he was going to do. That was the plan, if you could really call it a plan. He felt reasonably good about it and also felt like he had figured it all out pretty quickly, but it must not have been quick enough because Maggie was staring at him with poorly concealed concern in her eyes.

“Levi? You okay? You kind of disappeared there for a minute.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m still trying to get that conversation out of my head. But yeah, they want to meet you.”

“Not to be too nosy, but do you know why? I guess I’m not sure why they would want to meet me.”

“Because I mentioned you.”

“Is that all?” she laughed, taking his hand in hers and kissing each of his knuckles lightly, “So I guess it doesn’t take much.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. With me, mentioning a girl is a big deal. I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, but I haven’t exactly spent my life as a serial monogamist. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever brought up a girl to them. Just me saying your name to them was enough for them to know that you’re important to me. That you mean a lot to me.”

“Do I? Do I really?”

“God, can’t you see that? You mean more than anything. I care about you more than I care about myself. The only person I’ve ever really been able to say that about in my life is Hudson. And I think we both know that the way I feel about you is a little bit different that the way I feel about him.”

“God, I hope so.” She laughed prettily in that way that always made him want to kiss her. “I really, really do. So. Meeting your parents. When?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh boy. Meeting your parents tomorrow. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, let’s do it. We’ll just think of it as an adventure, right?”

“Sounds good to me.”

And it did, it really did. He just hoped that it was a good adventure and that the sneaking suspicion he had creeping into the back of his mind that it was going to wind up an unmitigated disaster was wrong. She was the one with the feelings about things after all, not him. Hopefully that was still true.

***

“Well Levi, she’s perfectly delightful! Why didn’t you tell us how delightful she is? Leave it to Levi. He’s forever telling us things that we couldn’t care less about while leaving out the details that matter, the really important things.”

“That’s just the way men are though, isn’t it Mrs. Phipps? As far as I can tell, there’s just no changing them.”

“Please, none of this ‘Mrs. Phipps’ nonsense. Call me Eleanor. Nothing so formal between friends.”

Levi looked from Maggie to his parents with complete astonishment. He had asked Hudson if he wanted to come along (and man, had he hoped he would say yes, if nothing else just to provide an added buffer) and he had quickly declined, but Levi had a feeling that when he tried to paint his bizarre picture Hudson was going to wish that he had joined. Maggie was playing along with the game his parents lived and breathed. Not only that, she was playing along so well that neither one seemed to be able to tell that it was just an act for her. He almost couldn’t tell, and he was the one who knew (what he thought) the real her.

If it hadn’t been for the little looks she was shooting him every now and then he would have been entirely flabbergasted. It was nice though. It was a massive relief to see the three of them getting along. He had hardly gotten any sleep at all the night before. He had just tossed and turned in his plush bed, coming up with every scenario under the sun that could cause a meltdown with the meeting he couldn’t put a stop to even if he tried. What was that saying? Anything that can go wrong will go wrong? He wasn’t a pessimist or anything, but when it came to his parents that was a statement he couldn’t help agreeing with. So far, however, all of that worrying had been for nothing. His parents were drunk but in a pleasant, friendly way (a far more elusive version of drunk than their par for the course angry, haughty kind of intoxication) and Maggie seemed to be reasonably comfortable.

 The best part was that they were already halfway through the dessert course and nothing cataclysmic had happened. It might just be possible for them to get out of this fancy restaurant and all the way home without anything bad ever happening and if they could pull that off, the first thing he was going to do was pick her up and carry her straight to his bed; do not pass go, do not collect a hundred dollars.