Chapter 9
Inside the house, they snuck through the empty hallway to his room, once again too carried away to care too much if they got caught. Kayla held her heels firmly in her hand, tip-toeing her way behind Ryan, her eyes scanning the area to make sure that no one was around.
As soon as the bedroom door was closed, Ryan didn’t wait another second.
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“We did it again, huh?” she said after a few minutes of silence, her thumb gently stroking his chest.
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“I guess so,” he responded, a wide smile plastered on his face, as he reached to plant a gentle kiss on her lips.
“You know, I never asked you. Are you afraid? Afraid to be a parent, I mean.” With an impressed gaze, he looked at her, taken aback by her question. Never in his life, had anyone asked him if he was afraid. Being afraid was an unwanted trait in his family. He’d always hidden his fears from others. And now, when in front of her, he didn’t want to hide it anymore. Somehow, he felt okay to show it. To show his ultimate fear of failure, of becoming his father.
“Yes.” It was the only thing he could say at the moment. And it was enough for her. She did not need to know more, she knew how hard it was to reveal yourself in front of others, so she convinced herself that for the moment, that answer alone should be enough.
*****
Once again, Kayla woke up to an empty bed. Her limbs tangled with the grey bed sheets that still heavily smelled of Ryan’s cologne. If she said she didn’t feel anxious, she would be lying. She wasn’t sure if she could handle yet another indirect rejection. Just like the other day, her eyes glanced towards the bathroom door, the steam coming from the crack of the partially opened door giving her a weird feeling of déjà vu.