The CEO’s Hired Surrogate

*****

“Kayla that’s not—”

“No, Ryan. Don’t worry. You don’t have to be careful with your words. After all, what you were about to say sounded the same as what I said. In a way or another.” Ryan wanted to say no, to ease the anger and pain she surely felt inside. But he couldn’t. She was right in a way. He’d intended to say something similar to what she had said.

But it was only after she’d said it that he realized how much of an ass he sounded like. He’d used her the night before, he’d been eager to release the s*xual tension between them, too blinded to realize the choices he would have to make.

But what else was he to say? He himself was confused, and at the moment running away seemed the best solution. So that was exactly why he remained silent. Watching her as she got dressed, knowing deep inside that he’d been a total disappointment.

She watched him with her hazel eyes, probably hoping that he would prove her wrong. Neither of them even dared to think of something more, yet each of them wished someone would say something that would give them the courage to dare to do it. They needed the push, the spark of courage. But they didn’t get it. At the moment, even that simple thing was a bit too much to ask for.

“And don’t worry. I’m still the surrogate mother, your employee, so nothing will change.” He could sense the hidden bitterness in her words but even then he remained speechless, watching her as she left the room, leaving him alone, vulnerable to the thousand thoughts in his head.

Work. He needed work. That was his only chance, it was the only thing meant to save him from the situation he’d gotten himself into.

*****

A few days later Kayla wasn’t done with drama or worry. Only this time she was worrying over something that was a bit less silly than sleeping with the man who hired her to be a surrogate mother. Only the memory of that made her feel the need to kick her own butt, angry that she would ever allow herself to be put through that.

She didn’t regret sleeping with him in particular. She liked him, she was attracted to him, but that in itself didn’t make it right. Shaking her head she decided not to go over that again, it wasn’t worth it. She’d had three solid days to regret and think about what had happened. In the beginning, she’d worried that seeing him around the house was going to aggravate her shame. But it had gone smoother than expected. Mostly because Ryan hadn’t come around until he was sure they were all asleep.

She’d asked Meredith about it, trying to sound casual, and it turned out he was using work as a fine pretext for his actions. But she knew better. He was beating himself up over their night together too.

Sighing she ran a hand through her hair and looked at the surgery room door. Knowing that her mother was there, lying on a table unconscious, drove her crazy. She felt like crying until she knew that her mother was well. But she needed to be strong; her mother had no one other than her so she needed to be strong for her.

She wished she had someone beside her to hold her hand and tell her it would all be fine. She needed someone just as bad as her mother did. But they were alone in this. No one in their life cared enough to be by their side when they needed it most.

Meredith had said she would visit them in the morning, and she appreciated that. She knew that she owed them nothing, so a visit was more than enough from her side. Looking at her phone, she found a silent wish within her that cried for Ryan to text her. She felt like she needed him there, for some bizarre reason. There was nothing between them, they weren’t even close, aside from having had s*x once. But she found herself wishing for him to be there.

Silly girl, she thought. He didn’t think about her at all, he probably regretted ever kissing her, let alone sleep with her. He was a powerful CEO, running an empire, so she was more than sure he wanted nothing to do with her.

He was probably seeing some beautiful girl, an heiress to some grand company. That thought made her heart clench, but it probably was the truth.

She wondered if she would ever find someone who would love her unconditionally, who would be ready to do anything for her. She wanted and dreamed about that. But she didn’t know if life had anything like that in store for her. She hadn’t gotten any sign of such a thing until then, and she somehow couldn’t imagine getting one anytime soon.

But who knew. Life was unexpected, her mother and she may have a wonderful future in store for them, one they had no idea of. With that thought in mind, she thought of her mother once again. Sighing she leaned against the wall and prayed. She didn’t know what else to do. God and her father were the only people that could be by her side on such a day.

*****

Ryan sighed and searched through the pile of papers for a specific paper, feeling as if he was losing his mind. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he looked at the scattered papers and folders around his office.

He was stressed, extremely stressed, and tired. He longed for a free day, and a hot shower, not to mention his warm bed and fuzzy pillows. But he needed to keep going through the papers. He needed the work otherwise he would surrender to the thoughts and memories of that intimate night once again. He feared that if he surrendered to those thoughts again, he wouldn’t find a way to the surface and would end up repeating it.