Chapter 10
Diane sat on the floor of the bathroom and stared at the stick in her hands. Two lines, the instructions said. That meant it was positive.
And there were two lines.
She was pregnant.
Diane felt like she was going to be sick. She and Gregory had used protection all the time. They had never had sex without it.
Except for yesterday. That had been unprotected. But even Diane knew that she couldn’t get pregnant that quickly. She had heard that even using protection wasn’t effective all of the time. Now she was experiencing it.
She was pregnant with Gregory’s baby, and that meant she was screwed.
Diane had wanted children, but she wanted to be married when that happened. She had also wanted to have sex once she was married, but that had gone out of the window, so why shouldn’t she get pregnant at the wrong time?
And to the wrong man.
No, he’s not the wrong man. Gregory is right.
Just not for you.
Diane wanted to bang her head against a wall. How could she have been so foolish? Gregory had been a temptation, and Diane had given into it. Now she was experiencing the consequences.
What was she going to do? Diane had no idea how she was going to get out of this. She would have to go to her doctor to confirm the pregnancy, but that would involve telling him who she had been sleeping with, and he would certainly tell her father; confidentiality was nothing in a community like theirs.
She couldn’t have this baby. Idaho had recently banned abortions after six weeks, and Diane had a feeling she was past that point. Besides, she didn’t think she could get rid of the baby like that.
She could say she was a surrogate for someone. Maybe that could work; some people couldn’t get pregnant, and Diane could lie and say she was helping out a family and that the baby would be theirs once it was born.
Or she could go and stay elsewhere, claiming to stay with an elderly parishioner, and have the baby adopted out. The latter she wouldn’t be able to pull off, though. And the former…Diane was never a good liar. She would be found out very quickly.
The reality was, she was pregnant outside of marriage by a man who wasn’t in their faith. Diane had given herself a double-whammy.
And it made her want to scream. As if she wasn’t having a crisis already.
A knock at the door made Diane jump. Her heart in her mouth, she froze, hoping that whoever it was, went away again.
“Diane? It’s me, Maggie. Are you okay?”
“M-Maggie?” Diane cleared her throat as she squeaked. “What are you doing here?”
“Your father was on his way out to a meeting in Donnelly. He let me in.”
“Oh!” Diane had forgotten about that meeting. One that she had set up for him and put in the diary. “He’s really gone?”
“He is. I’ve just seen him drive off. Are you okay? You don’t sound right.”
Diane couldn’t help it. She just burst into tears. Then she heard Maggie turning the door handle.
“Diane, let me in. What’s wrong?”
Scrambling to her feet, Diane unlocked the door. Almost as soon as the door was opening, Maggie tugged it open further, causing Diane to wobble and fall back. Her friend knelt beside her.
“Diane! What are you doing?” She peered at her. “Why are you crying?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Diane swiped at her face, “I’ve just got something in my eye.”
Then she realized that Maggie wasn’t looking at her. She was staring at the pregnancy box on the floor, and the test was still clutched in Diane’s hand. Her eyes were round as she looked at her friend.
“Oh, Diane. Please don’t say…”
“That I’m pregnant? I am.”
Diane started sobbing again. She had never felt so lost in her life. She felt Maggie put her arms around her and hold her close.
“Diane, honey. It’s okay. There’s no need to cry.”
“What do you mean? Of course, there is a need!” Diane sniffled against her friend’s shoulder. “I’m pregnant out of wedlock by someone who isn’t a Baptist. Father is going to be furious with me.”
“You’re a grown woman. Do you need to do everything he tells you?”
“He’s the only family I have, Maggie. I can’t go against him.”
“You think he’s not going to support you when he finds out.”
Diane flinched. When he found out. There was no doubt about it.
“He’s going to have me married off to Brent as soon as possible, and then pass the baby off as his. The thought of that, though…”
“There is a simple solution to that.”
“What?”
Maggie eased her away and smiled at her, although it looked a little wan.
“You could always marry Gregory.”
It took a moment for Diane to realize what she had just said. She stared at her.
“What? Marry Gregory?”
“Why not? He clearly cares about you, and you’re pregnant. Your father can’t argue with that if he’s willing to take responsibility for the child.”
“But I can’t marry him!”
“Why can’t you? You did say that you loved him, right?”
“That’s not the point!” Diane shuffled back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. God, she felt sick. “He’s not a member of our community. Father would never allow it, even if Gregory asked him. If he doesn’t join our faith, we can’t marry.”
Maggie snorted.
“That is a lot of nonsense. He can’t stop something like that.”
“Maggie, you know what he’s like. He’ll definitely be able to stop it.” Diane realized she was beginning to rock back and forth. “He would lock me up if given half a chance. He had a plan for me, and I went against it. Because I gave into temptation.”
“You didn’t give into temptation. You saw a guy, you liked him, and you wanted to spend time with him. What’s wrong with that?”
“Everything!”
Maggie sighed. She sat back and leaned against the bath.
“Diane, there are times when being faithful is great, but it can’t run your life completely. You need to realize that sometimes your wants and your faith don’t end up going in the same direction.”
“If I don’t have my faith, I feel like I’m lost.”
“You’ve been seeing Gregory for two months now, from what you’ve told me. And do you think you’ve changed as a person? Aside from you cursing like a sailor, that is.”
Diane frowned.
“I…, I don’t know.”