The Bear’s Mail Order Menage

Now both Joshua and his mother were laughing, the kind of deep, full-bellied laughs one rarely had the privilege of engaging in. If Josh’s mom had a talent for making people feel safe and calm, Andrew had a talent for making people feel giddy with joy. It was something that came easily to him, as easily as breathing. He thrived on it, almost like a vampire who fed off of people’s energy instead of their blood. You could see it in his face even now, the way he grinned in response to their levity. He went to the fridge and pulled out one of the beers their parents still kept around just for him, popping the top off with his keys and perching himself on the edge of the big oak dining table.

The story went that Josh’s grandpa built that table with his bare hands all on his own. He cut the timber and stripped the wood, sanded it down lovingly and stained it a deep, rich color. If anyone but Andrew had sat on that table, his mother would have promptly swatted them away, chastising them for their disrespect. But with Andrew, things were different. Andrew could get away with things that most people simply couldn’t. He was like a firecracker walking around in human form. It was near impossible not to love him. Everyone wanted to be around him, as prickly as he could sometimes be, and the few that were able to be close to him counted themselves as lucky.

“So for real, guys, what the hell is going on here? You two really do look all worked up over something. Anything I can do to help?”

Their mother looked uncomfortable and made a point of looking anywhere but at the two of them and Joshua glanced at Andrew, hoping to convey with just the one look what the topic of conversation had been. Andrew just winked in return, something he did with some frequency that drove Joshua completely insane.

 It was just so rare for him to take anything seriously, even when a little bit of reverence might actually do them all some good. Fine, well then, let him handle the situation. Let him explain why the two of them sharing a girl they had the audacity to pretty much shop for online, was actually a perfectly normal thing that shouldn’t be any cause for alarm. If anyone could do it, it was bound to be him.

“It’s Alina. She wanted to ask about her. She’s a little bit concerned about her being here.”

“Well sure, of course you are! You’re a mother, ain’t ya? I would be concerned too. But I’ll tell you what, I bet at least some of it is because you don’t know her from Adam. Having a girl you ain’t never met running around with your sons could set even the most reasonable woman off.”

“Well, yes. Exactly. That’s at least part of it.”

“I thought so. I had a feeling that was going to happen so I took it upon myself to come up with a plan. Give me just a second, will ya?”

Before either of them had a chance to speak, Andrew was out the door, his feet pounding against the old rickety stairs as he took them two by two. Whatever he was on his way to do, he was pretty enthusiastic about it, which made Joshua more than a little bit nervous. With a guy as devious as Andrew it was always best to take enthusiasm with a grain of salt. Either for better or for worse, however, there wasn’t a whole lot of time to process the situation because almost as soon as he was gone they could hear him coming back up, speaking to someone as he went.

Then he was bursting back through the door, the beautiful and shy Alina following hesitantly behind him. Joshua felt his heart swell at the sight of her and when their eyes briefly met he felt a spark of electricity that made him feel wholly, completely alive. It never ceased to amaze him that a girl he hardly knew was able to make such a big impression on him. He looked at his mother and saw her eyes widen with surprise, but also with tenderness. They hadn’t even spoken yet, but Joshua could see that his mother was easily going to fall in love with this delicate girl.

“Mother Peters, may I present to you the lovely Alina! Alina, this is the mother. You’re going to love her.”

The four of them looked at each other for a brief moment of silence and then, spontaneously, all burst into laughter. Maybe, Joshua thought to himself, it was going to be alright after all.

*

“Come on guys, how are the two of you both so fu*king slow? Goddamn, you would think you hadn’t ever used your legs before.”

Andrew walked backwards down the main street of their little town, if it could really be called it a main street. In Andrew’s estimation it wasn’t much more than a plain ol’ dirt road. Alina seemed to dig it though, so that was good. If it made her happy he guessed he could live with it for at least a little while longer. He was watching her make her way down the road with a shy grin, Joshua walking slowly beside her.

Sh*t, but she looked good. Even with the chill that had made its way into the air with no apparent intention to go any time soon, she wore little jean cutoffs short enough for the pockets to show on the bottoms, her long lean legs smooth and creamy in their little leather sandals. Topped  off with a simple white v-neck tee shirt and a messy sideways braid, and Andrew thought she was just about the most good looking thing he had ever seen in his whole life.

“Well shoot, Andrew, why you gotta run every damn place? I thought we were showing this girl the town, helping her to feel acquainted with everything.”

“Right,” he said laughing, “but there are only like, a hundred people here. That can’t take all that long.”

Joshua rolled his eyes, which was exactly the reaction Andrew had been going for, and Alina smiled, looking wide-eyed from one of them to the next. Andrew couldn’t say that he had ever really had a mission in life, but he sure as sh*t felt like he had one now. He was going to bring this girl out of her shell if it was the last thing he did. And by out of his shell, he meant all of the way out of her shell. There was nobody else he could think of that could do it better and combined with Joshua’s awkwardly sweet disposition, there was no way they were going to fail. He could already see that she was feeling more at ease and just that gave him the best kind of high.

“Why don’t we leave it up to the lady?”

“Me? Leave what up to me? You know I’m just, how do you say it, along for the ride?”