The Bear’s Mail Order Menage

She upset the balance of things in town, put it on tilt in a way that was more than welcome. She felt like the only magic in a town that was built on magic and, if Joshua was being honest with himself, he was feeling a bit star struck.

But even through that haze he was still very aware of the fact that what they were doing, while not unheard of, was in no way conventional. How in the hell was he supposed to talk to his mom about that? They had never even had “the talk.” They were a loving family, but not an open one. Not in that way. How was he supposed to just change all of that? But he could see her looking at him with raised eyebrows and he knew he needed to say something before things got even more awkward than they already were.

“Russia. She’s from Russia. Her name is Alina Kristoff. She didn’t have much keeping her in Russia so she came here.”

“That’s an interesting story.”

“What does that mean? It’s not just a story, it’s what happened.”

“No,” she said with a look of discomfort, “it might be part of what happened but it isn’t all of it.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I wasn’t born yesterday and and it doesn’t make any sense the way you’re telling it. This isn’t the kind of place a girl just wanders into. Nobody even knows this place is here, at least nobody who isn’t right next door. It was made that way on purpose. It was made that way to protect us.

How would this girl Alina, all the way from Russia, have any idea that we were here? It just couldn’t be. Sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear me say and normally I wouldn’t say anything at all, but I’m worried. I feel like something is going on here. I just can’t tell quite what.”

He was going to tell her. He had to. He didn’t have a choice. His mother was one person he wasn’t willing to lie to, not ever. He had to protect her after everything she had already been put through. He just had to make sure he told her delicately. He didn’t want to freak her out.

“She’s here because of us. Because we asked her to come.”

“Us? Who’s us?”

“Me and Andrew. It was his idea, really. He’s been feeling trapped, restless. He was talking about wanting to go.”

“Go? So are the two of you leaving? Where will you go?”

The look on her face was one of panic that she was clearly trying to master, but Joshua could still plainly see it. Even though he wasn’t actually intending to go anywhere, seeing her reaction made his stomach sink. She seemed so afraid of the idea of him going anywhere, anywhere at all. But he was twenty-five years old, for christ’s sake. Shouldn’t he be able to live where he wanted to, even if it wasn’t close to home?

But his mother was still looking at him with that same pained expression and wringing her hands. Now was not the time to address the bigger problem of impending separation anxiety. He just needed this conversation to be over.

“Don’t worry, mom,” he said gently, “we aren’t leaving. That’s part of why Alina is here.”

“I’m afraid I still don’t understand.”

“We brought her here. She came because we looked her up and we brought her here. We just needed something different. We needed something to change.”

“Oh. Oh goodness, I see.”

And to his horror, his mother began to cry. Not big, racking sobs, nothing so obvious, but he could see the tears glistening on her aging cheeks, nonetheless. Jesus, he thought, this conversation was going just about as poorly as it possibly could. To make matters worse, he didn’t understand this reaction at all. He had said they weren’t leaving, hadn’t he? So what did she have to be so distraught over? It seemed like no matter what he said, things just got more complicated, more convoluted.

He wished he understood people better, or more specifically, women. They never seemed to do the thing he thought they would and so he was forever trying to make up for his latest blunder. It put him on edge, made him worry all of the time. For a man who was naturally inclined to worry, he didn’t need the extra push in that direction.

“Mom, what is it? I don’t understand. Why are you crying?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Clearly, that’s not true. I know it’s something. What did I say? I want to make it better, I just don’t really understand why you’re upset.”

“It’s just that I never thought you would be in a situation like that. That the two of you would go that far.”

“It isn’t a big deal, mom. Like I said, we just needed a change.”

“You both needed a change, or he needed a change?”

“It wasn’t his fault. It was both of us, mom. We both needed something different.”

He didn’t realize until that moment that what he was saying was true. It wasn’t just Andrew. He needed something new in his life as well. Knowing that about himself made a difference. It gave him a resolve that he hadn’t had before.

“But don’t you see how dangerous it may be?”

“What, Alina?” he said with a laugh, “I don’t think she’s dangerous to anyone.”

“Don’t you? Even sweet, beautiful girls can be dangerous, sugar. Anyone can be dangerous, given the right circumstances.”

“I just don’t see it. She doesn’t mean anyone any harm. It’s true, I don’t know her all that well, not yet, but she isn’t a girl who comes from a lot. I do know that much. She won’t really speak about home, but from the little I’ve heard her say, it wasn’t a great place for her. I think she’s just grateful to be somewhere safe. I don’t think she would hurt anyone, not ever.”

Joshua’s mother sighed and shook her head, slowly taking a sip of her tea. It wasn’t an attitude she adopted all that frequently, but at the moment she looked resigned, like she was being burdened by more wisdom than she really cared to take on. He was surprised to see it in regard to this particular situation.