That Forbidden Love

“What are you even saying?” Jazmyn asked and took a healthy gulp of the cocktail. ” You are even worse than Madeline right now. I just told you the evening ended abruptly and he hadn’t tried to contact me since then. What should I do? Call him up and ask him out on a date?”

Brianna smiled like someone who knew something she didn’t and leaned in closer on the table, her head resting comfortably on the back of her hands.

“What is wrong with doing that? Nothing has ever stopped you from making the first move before, you practically do it all time. You are acting totally out of character which tells me quite a lot.”

“You are beginning to imagine things, Bri. I am totally fine and dandy,” Jazmyn response was testy as she turned to the street where the cyclers were already positioned in a starting line. She’d always hated it when her best friend reached into the heart of things to address them like the psychologist she was.

When it came to feelings, emotions and all other uncomfortable expressions, Jazmyn preferred to pretend they weren’t there. Whenever they made the mistake of surfacing stubbornly, she shoved them far off into the darker crevices of her mind until they disappeared.

She could jump off a plane in a moment’s heartbeat or dive into the bottom of the ocean on a whim but hated full-on heart to heart confrontations like this. They always had the capacity to make her feel so exposed and vulnerable.

“I know you hate it when I do this,” Brianna’s voice was so soft and compelling she had no choice but to meet her friend’s warm gaze.

“You forget sometimes that I am a safe place and don your mask of indifference but it doesn’t work Jaz. This isn’t about Zack but you. You need to stop running and pushing away the real deal while chasing the worthless ones for a bit of good time. You do that all the time and I think it’s time to hang up the boots, girl.”

Jazmyn looked away from those penetratingly understanding blue depths, hating, yet loving just how much they saw inside to the real parts of her.

“Would you do something for me?”

Jazmyn didn’t like the sound of that, but it was Brianna. Her best girl had been there when she’d given out her heart tentatively after a long time of safeguarding it. Only to have it returned broken and messed up, with enough trauma reaching back to her childhood experiences.

She’d held her at night and cried with her. And had still been there when she’d decided to pick up the pieces and move on with her life.

Brianna knew her inside out and there was no point trying to pretend her words hadn’t been spot on. Sighing grudgingly, Jazmyn turned to her.

“Hope you aren’t going to ask me to give up some precious vices because no can do. Also, you aren’t supposed to be psychoanalyzing me you know.”

“I can psychoanalyze you all I want, and I know it’s a losing battle trying to get you to stop endangering your life but I will keep fighting,” Brianna stated in her usual long-suffering tone and reached for her hand across the table.

“Listen up, Jazmyn. I know we’ve had this type of conversation a million times but this one is different. Look I need you to open yourself up and allow yourself to be happy this time.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re driving at. I am always happy.”

Brianna’s smile was warm and revealing. ” You know what I mean, girl. Don’t restrain it to – just fun as usual. Allow your heart to give and receive that wellspring of love you have inside. Don’t sell yourself short or make it about his happiness alone if this thing ever happens. You deserve some of yours too.”

Jazmyn didn’t know if it was the extra gin in her mojito, the heat of the afternoon or the sudden strange stirring in her heart but tears sprang instantly to her eyes at her best friend’s last words. “Oh, Bri, I hate you so much,” she said and picked up a napkin to dab at the corner of her eyes.

Brianna lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of her palm affectionately. “And I love you and mean every single word I’ve said. You need to experience love again because you are love personified. I don’t know how things would turn out with Zack but…”

Jazmyn’s iPhone rang out right then and Brianna fell silent, signaling with a nod for her to take the call.

Blowing her a kiss, Jazmyn answered immediately, brimming with love for her friend turned sister who was always there to snap her reasoning back in place, despite her perchance for acute stubbornness.

“Hi! Jazmyn here.”

“Hello. This is Zack. I hope this isn’t a bad time?”

Everything seemed to come crashing to a halt at that very moment. Jazmyn’s heart skipped a beat immediately and her eyes flew up to Brianna who watched intently, sipping at her Merlot. Even before he’d introduced himself, she’d recognized the rich, syrupy smoothness of his voice.

She could identify it crystal clear even in a drowning sea of voices. It was solely responsible for haunting her nights in the past few days while holding her thoughts captive at the slightest opportunity. How could she dare to forget?

Nervous and struggling to stable her voice, Jazmyn cleared her throat almost noisily before replying. “Yes…No, this isn’t a bad time. How have you been? This….. is most certainly, a surprise.”

“Yeah,” came his gruff reply. “I’m truly sorry. I should have called sooner but work has been quite hectic and I’ve been on frequent trips out of the state.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry about all of the stress and inconvenience.” Jazmyn felt color flood her cheeks, and was almost grateful for her skin tone until she remembered Brianna could read her like a book. The brunette was already waving to find out who was on the phone.

“Thank you, Jazmyn,” he said in an almost whisper and fell silent for a short stretch of seconds before speaking again. “It’s so good to hear from you again. You have a more singsong voice over the phone than in person. That certainly is a surprise.”

Jazmyn’s blush deepened, causing Brianna to abandon the meal of sauteed mushrooms and potato chips the waitress had brought earlier and stare knowingly with a twinkle in her eyes.

Fighting hard to regain her balance even though she was practically shaking from repressing all of her expressions, Jazmyn replied simply. “Well, we’ve been told many times to avoid judging a book by its cover or through someone’s character report.”

“Well, that is astute,” he replied, a touch of humor in his tone. “Has anyone told you just how precise you sound sometimes? Exactly like an instructor or schoolteacher would?”

Jazmyn felt a smile stealing across her face at the comparison. “Honestly, this is a first for me. Of course, I’ve been compared to a lot of things before but not certainly a schoolteacher. I think this is my best one yet.”

He laughed, the rich, vibrating sound tickling her ears and squeezing gently around her heart. It was almost humorous how she’d secretly been hoping he called while maintaining indifference at the same time. Only to get a phone call in the middle of a conversation revolving around him.

“Jazmyn….”