Taken By The Bull

Her voice hitched and broke; she choked back on it as she continued to spit out words with the remorseless speed of a machine-gun. “I had a brother. A little brother. His name – his name was Trev.”

It had been so long since she’d spoken that name out loud. So long.

“He’d have turned twenty-two this December. But he’s not going to, because he’s dead!” Her fists curled as she screamed those words; and she couldn’t see anything anymore, blinded by the tears that broke like a storm-swelled dam and overflowed. “Dead at eighteen!Because he looked like some other kid, and he got shot for it! And it’s my fault because I was there, I was there and I didn’t know what to do! How – to stop the bleeding. How to keep him going until the ambulance arrived!”

The memory of that night swarmed back, as painful as a heart-attack. All that blood. All the screaming and the tears, and the shocked faces of some of the onlookers…. And the delight on others, as they filmed the whole thing on their cellphones. “And he died in my arms, and I don’t have a brother anymore. But you do! Both of you! You’re… so lucky… So stop it! Just…. stop – stop fighting each… each other…”

A pair of arms curled around her body and pulled her close into a strong bare chest; and she threw her arms around that neck and sobbed into his shoulder, unable to fight against so many years of built-up hurt and trauma. “Shhh,” she heard Steve murmur. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, now.”

She cried like a child, wordless sobs of helpless pain while he stood patiently with her under the impassive gaze of the moon; and she felt Seth’s hand, light on her shoulder. “Sorry ’bout that,” he muttered. “I’m a little drunk, and… I love that brother of mine with all my heart. Didn’t – didn’t mean to upset anybody.”

“It’s okay, Seth,” Steve responded, voice low and comforting. “Go on in and get yourself to bed. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“I ain’t seen someone run in between a pair of our kind like that since… since… since Mom.” There was a long moment of silence before Staci heard the sound of his wavering footsteps leading him back to the house.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I didn’t mean to – make this about me. I didn’t mean to cry. I never cry! I’m sorry!”

“Now, I don’t want to be hearing none of that.” He put his hands on her upper arms and moved away, looking her in the face; her shoulders sagged and she stared at the ground, a balled up-fist rubbing disconsolately at her eyes until Steve put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his gaze. “That was just about the most damn-fool thing I’ve seen a person do in my life. And the bravest. And you ain’t got nothing to apologize for; not about now, and not about the past, neither.”

She stared back at him, mutely, shaking her head, chest hitching as she struggled to summon up the breath to answer him. “I could’ve – could’ve saved him. I know I could’ve. I know it.”

“Did the doctors say you could’ve?”

Slowly, she shook her head.

“Did any of those people watching lift a finger to help?”

She sobbed as she shook her head a second time.

“Then you know there was nothing more you could do. It’s just the pain of knowing that doesn’t make grief any harder to bear. You just – keep on. And you carry the memory, and still love the world and everything in it. And then-” Suddenly he staggered, grimacing as he released her to press his hands against his side. Blood ran in a slick crimson trail down his chest, his leg, and dripped on the earth. “And then maybe you call an ambulance, because I’m not feeling so good.”

*****

“Mikey? It’s me.”

“Jesus, Stace…” The voice on the other end of the line trailed off into a sleepy mumble, before picking up again after a deep yawn. “I was trying to get hold of you all evening, and nothing! Now you finally call back at – ugh, it’s four in the morning. Ugh.”

“Sorry. I’m – at the hospital.”

“What the – wait.” His tone sharpened as he seemed to snap into wakefulness in an instant, concern and fear mingling together in equal measure. “Are you okay? What happened?!”

“It’s not me,” she told him quickly, hoping to ease his concerns with her words and the calm tone of voice she delivered them with. “It’s Steve. He got hurt… by a bull that got loose. I’ve been, ah…. I’ve been staying at his place the last few nights.”

There was a pause after that, and Mikey drew a long, slow breath. He was a smart guy. He didn’t need anything spelled out to him. “I see. Well, that explains a lot actually, but – is he okay?”

“Yeah. Well, mostly. He’s got busted ribs, just missed puncturing a lung by a hair’s breadth. It could have been a lot worse. But he’s all patched up, and we’re waiting for him to be discharged.”

Staci closed her eyes, rubbing at her temple with the flat of her hand. She knew that she looked like quite a sight, dressed in the same dusty and scuffed-up skirt that she had been wearing when she’d fallen on her ass after being caught by Dawn’s hired help earlier; Steve’s white shirt hung down almost to the hemline of the skirt, hiding the worst of the damage. Her shoes were placed neatly together under the chair she sat in. “I’m so sorry that I’ve been MIA the last few days. I should have called you back.”

“Yeah, you should have. But there’s no harm done. Not to you, anyway.”

“Yeah, I – I’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll have to turn the rental car in at the Jackson depot, I hope the boss isn’t pissed about the extra fines.”

“Nah. I’ll grab the van and come and get you.” Mikey yawned again, and there was a sound in the background – someone voicing an inquiry in a sleepy tone. “Listen Stace, I gotta go. If I’m there at three, will you have time to wrap up your business and have a long and lingering goodbye with You-Know-Who?”

Staci blinked. “Voldemort?”

“Good wizards never say that name out loud.” Mikey’s response was instant, conditioned by years of hardcore geekery. “Nah. Steve. Obvs.”

Did he just say ‘obvs’…? “Uh, yeah. That’ll give me time.” She bit her lip, swallowing down against a lump rising in her throat. “Mikey?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a really good friend. And a good person. I hope you know that.”

“Jesus Christ,” he sounded embarrassed by that. “Shut up, Stace.”

“No. You shut up!” Grinning despite herself, she shook her head; from the corner of her eye she saw a door open, and a familiar broad-shouldered shape push through, trailed by an ER nurse. Immediately, she was on her feet. “I’ll – I’ll see you tomorrow, Mikey. Get some sleep. Love you, idiot.”

“Yeah yeah, you too, whatever.” The dismissive ring of his words were belied by the slight chuckle that she caught the tail of as he hung the phone up.

“Steve?” She met him halfway down the hall; he was moving a little slower than usual, but still with the straight-backed long stride she knew so well. “How is it?”

He flexed his arm slowly, wincing slightly at the pain while patting the heavy padding of gauze that was strapped to the side of his chest. “It’s all good.”