Saving Her Billionaire

Chapter 12

Phoebe paced in her room. It was helping her think, but not by much. Her thoughts were so jumbled up right now that she absolutely could not think straight no matter what she tried. So jumbled up was her mind that she was starting to forget what it was like to think normally, think in a way that would allow her to understand what was going on around her.

She paced and paced and paced, but in the end all it did was tire her out. Eventually her feet began to hurt too much and she had to sit down. She sat down at the edge of her bed and sighed. She could not deal with this, not now.

Why on Earth had Ruth had to call right now, of all the times she could have called? Why could she not have called months ago? Why could she not have called yesterday? Why had she called the very moment that Phoebe had been about to call the man that she loved and tell him that she wanted to be with him?

There were several new problems that had arisen from the fact that Ruth had just called Phoebe. The first major problem was, of course, that Nate would have to find out about the fact that Phoebe’s ex had called her and this would obviously put a strain on whatever nascent relationship they had managed to grow with each other. This nascent relationship was already under so much strain due to the fact that they had a baby on the way, this would add to the stress in a very real way that they would not be able to handle right now.

The other problem was that Ruth was right. She and Phoebe had, indeed, had something very special with each other, the kind of thing that most people were never able to find no matter how hard they tried. They had a relationship that made people jealous simply because they understood each other so well. They understood each other to the point where, towards the end of the good part of their relationship, they had started to complete each others sentences. They had started to guess what the other person wanted to eat or do on any particular night. They had gotten so in tune with each other that they had started communicating through looks and gestures, allowing them to talk to one another even when people were in the room, people who they probably did not want knowing about whatever it was that they wanted to talk about.

Phoebe missed that too, or at least she had in the first few months after the break up. It had not been easy to not wake up and call Ruth first thing in the morning. She had rationalized this and made it easier to deal with by assuming that the only reason she missed it was that she had gotten so used to it but she knew that this was not the case. She knew that the real reason that she missed Ruth was that she had loved her, and she had loved her a lot.

This was one of the major conundrums that she now had to face. Did she want to get back together with Ruth? The answer was not coming to her easily, and this was what was scaring Phoebe right now. She wanted to be sure about what she wanted, she wanted to be able to decide what she wanted without having to struggle with so much doubt, because at the end of the day this was her life. She had to make a decision and stick with it. If she got together with Nate in spite of being so uncertain about her feelings towards Ruth, she would end up regretting the decision for the rest of her life. She would eventually start wondering if things would have been better off if she had chosen Ruth instead of Nate. She would start wondering if Ruth would be a better parent to her child than Nate.

Ruth had always been incredibly motherly. She had always been the kind of person that loved kids, and she had not been afraid to display this affection as openly as possible. She would give everything to this child, accept it as her own, but this brought its own host of problems along with it.

The major problem here was that Phoebe did not know how she would tell Ruth that she was having a child. The whole reason that they had broken up had been that Phoebe had not been ready to have children, that she had thought, at that time, that she would never want to have kids. How could she go up to Ruth and tell her that she was not only pregnant, but that she wanted this child?

She could, of course, tell Ruth that getting pregnant had been a mistake. Everybody made mistakes like this. The problem was that Phoebe would be unable to justify her choice to keep the baby. Ruth would have expected her to abort the fetus, and her assessment would not have been inaccurate based on the version of Phoebe she was used to. She would be hurt that Phoebe had broken up with Ruth but had decided to have a child anyway. She would be hurt, but perhaps she would understand. She had always been an extremely understanding person after all.

Phoebe was not out of the woods yet, however. There was still a major problem that she had to overcome, and this was the problem that she was in love with Nate as well. She was in love with him and there really was no other way to put it because the love she felt was intense, far more intense than anything she had ever experienced in her life. She did not want to have to force herself to choose, but it seemed like she was going to have to choose anyway.

This was how the whole day went, and the next day she got a call at the exact same time as the previous day. It was Ruth. Phoebe agreed to meet her at a diner, she agreed that it was probably a good idea that they talk things out face to face because in doing so they would be able to get things out of the way by taking advantage of the more personal edge that being right in front of each other would give their conversation.

Phoebe was afraid, however, that her emotions would overcome her ability to think straight. She was scared that she would end up feeling like she had no choice, that she was powerless in front of the love that she felt in this moment. She was afraid that, if she was not careful, she would see Ruth and forget about Nate entirely, and that she would get back together with Ruth then and there. She was afraid that in doing so she would hurt Nate and ruin her relationship with the father of her child. And, of course, Phoebe was afraid that in doing so she would make the wrong choice, go for the wrong person. She didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to go for the wrong person, which was why Phoebe knew that she was going to have to be extremely careful while talking to Ruth.