This fear of the unknown was the very thing that had made her change her major so many times. She was so scared of what lay after the major that she just kept changing it in the hopes of finding a major that she genuinely enjoyed. She eventually found that with psychology. She did not think that she would find an excellent career, but by this point she was sick and tired of her fear. She was done with feeling like nothing was under control, and so she settled for psychology.
That was part of the reason why she had started to feel so dissatisfied with her job. She felt like she had settled. She felt that, after all of that stress and tension, she had settled for something that was not exactly what she had wanted it to be.
Hence, the reasons behind why she was so afraid of becoming dependent, emotionally or otherwise, on Nate were twofold. Firstly, of course, she did not want to have her heart broken again. She had had enough of that for several lifetimes, she wasn’t planning on allowing herself to feel that way ever again. At the same time, she was afraid that even if Nate didn’t break her heart that she would be settling for less than what she deserved. She was afraid that she would be settling for something that was better than nothing, and she never wanted to do this with her life partner. She would never want to look at her life partner and say, “Well, something is better than nothing. Not having this person would be worse than having this person.” That was what she was afraid of, because she had seen marriages like that fall apart. She had an aunt who had married because of the fact that she was pregnant with the man’s child. She had been quite happy initially, but after the honeymoon phase had ended they had started to see each other for who they really were, and when this happened there was no going back. They started to resent each other after they realized that they had settled for less than what they deserved.
Phoebe was very confused, and she felt, in order to assuage her confusion, she would have to do something serious like organize her thoughts. She had always enjoyed doing that, always enjoyed making lists of pros and cons before making a decision, she had always felt like what she was doing was so important that she would have to understand the logic behind it before she got to the bottom of it.
She decided to make a list about what she was going through right now. It was the best way to understand what was going on and what decision would be best for her if she had a list of pros and cons that would help her make that decision.
She started to write down the pros and cons. There were a number of each, and by the end of it she began to get an understanding of what she wanted to do. The decision was quite easy, in fact.
The cons were numerous. She didn’t want to have her heart broken and there was a very real possibility of that happening. She needed to have her priorities in order, though, so she listed some other cons as well. There was the con that involved the fact that she might be settling for someone who was better than no one if she ended up with Nate.
However, she found that there were a lot more pros than there were cons. The first pro was, of course, that she needed someone to raise the child with her. She could do it on her own, of course, but that would be difficult. It would just be easier if Nate was there with her, because he was such a good person. He would help her out in any way he could, make her feel like everything was okay when it all become too much for her. He would be able to give something that she needed very desperately, and that was emotional support in her own times of need. The baby was important, of course, but in order to be a good mom she would have to be in the right frame of mind as well. She would have to think very seriously about what she needed to do and always have her head on straight, and this was not something she could do if she was handling absolutely everything on her own.
Nate was a calming presence. He was a mature person, and having him around would not just be good for her, it would be good for the baby as well because it would allow the baby to grow up with a positive influence around it. Nate would give the baby a lot of emotional support, the kind of emotional support that a lot of people simply don’t give their kids.
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This was mostly because he was an incredibly mature person, a lot more mature than most people tended to be. He had a way of looking at things as they were, in a manner that was completely objective. The vast majority of people had a tendency to attach their own biases to whatever it was that they were seeing and this typically resulted in a skewed opinion about the topic that was being discussed. This was not the case with Nate. He was, at all times, completely unbiased.
What Phoebe loved most about him was the fact that even when his unbiased opinion led him to believe that whatever someone was doing was wrong, he would never let that opinion get in the way of his forgiveness of that person. He would strive to forgive, especially if the wrong that was being done was against him.
Phoebe admired this quality, and desperately wanted her children to possess it as well. She had a feeling that her child would be better off having Nate as its father.
Apart from all of this, Phoebe felt like she had really connected with Nate. She felt like they had a lot in common, and that the things that they did not have in common were smoothed over by the fact that they were so compatible. Anything that they did not have in common would just end up being ignored, because at the end of the day when two people are so compatible they end up accepting each other for who they are.
After many hours of soul searching and thinking about this subject, Phoebe decided that there was only one thing really that she could do. There was only one logical end result to all of this questioning, and that was that she should talk to Nate about the two of them getting together. She realized that every relationship had its drawbacks. She realized that everyone tended to feel unsatisfied with their partners at some point in their lives, but at the end of the day we all get what we get, and Phoebe realized that if the person she got was Nate, it would be a lot better for her than if she ended up with literally anybody else in the world.