“How involved?” asked Phoebe. She didn’t quite know what he was asking right now. Did he want to be with her? After the emotion of that initial moment had passed, Phoebe had started to realize that perhaps being together would not be the best idea, because decisions born out of such emotional moments are rarely ever rational. She didn’t want to get together with Nate simply because they were having a child together. She didn’t want him to get together with her out of any sense of duty either. If they were to be together, she wanted them to do it out of a sense of love and commitment to one another. She wanted them to want to be together, exclusive of the child that was growing in her womb. In short, she wanted to know if, had she not gotten pregnant, he would have wanted to be so involved in her life, if he would have cared about her so much.
“I don’t know,” said Nate. “I would want to be there when the child is born and go to all of the doctor’s appointments with you. I would want to be there for the both of you, you know. I mean… I would want to financially support the baby, make sure that it doesn’t have to worry about money when it’s time for it to go to college. I would want to support the baby so that it has everything that it could want. But more than that… I want to be a father for the child. I want the child to know what it is that I do, I want to teach it about my work and I want to help it learn what it wants to do with its life. I want to support it emotionally as well as financially.”
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“How would that work?” asked Phoebe. “Would you visit every once in a while?”
“I suppose,” said Nate. “Not every once in a while… I would like to visit a lot. Maybe we could have the child live with either one of us every few days. Maybe I could keep the child a couple of days a week. Maybe we could get places close to each other so that we can rely on each other at least a little.”
Phoebe stroked Nate’s face. She realized in that moment that she cared about him more than she knew how to explain. She loved that he wanted her to have her space, and that he wanted to be a part of the child’s life even though it would undoubtedly cause a lot of problems for him as far as his company was concerned. He didn’t care about any of that because he loved the child that was in her womb.
Phoebe kissed Nate. She did not know why she did it, but she felt like it was the right thing to do.
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It would change everything, and Phoebe was afraid that the change might not be good.