Nate did not think about the fact that he was still extremely drunk. He had not thought about it while driving to the hotel and he was not thinking about it right now as he drunkenly drove home. He did not think about it as his car swerved between the other cars on the road. Nate was driving incredibly irresponsibly, he had no idea what he was doing and this scared him more than anything else he had ever faced. But he had to get home, he had to handle things, he had to be there for his family because if he was not there then who would be? If he did not handle this for his family then how could they be expected to handle it on there own? It was absolutely ridiculous of him to think that. It was simply not possible.
Regardless of all of this, Nate did not think about how drunk he was. He did not think about it even when thinking about it might have saved him from serious injury. He did not think about it as his car swerved off of the road and slammed into a tree, and after that Nate did not think at all for he had been knocked unconscious by the impact. He was completely and utterly done with everything, including the consciousness that had caused him so much grief so far.
*****
Nate opened his eyes. It was then that he realized that his eyes had been open for quite some time, he had simply not been seeing with them. He had thought that he was somewhere quite pleasant because the bed that he was currently lying on was very soft. It was then that he realized that he was in a hospital.
He started to panic immediately. A hospital was where his father had died. A hospital was where everything had gone to sh*t and his family had been altered forever. A hospital was where his little brother had died right after being born. Hospitals were horrible places and Nate wanted no part in them.
He tried to get up but a soft hand pressed down against his chest. He looked up at the nurse. She was beautiful. Could it be?
“Samantha?” said Nate.
“No, sir, my name is Tiffany,” said the nurse. She came into focus and Nate realized that she looked nothing at all like Samantha. She wasn’t even blonde, she was a brunette.
“I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t…” said Nate, struggling to find his words. He could not seem to string a sentence together. It was something that was becoming increasingly difficult for him and he was starting to get afraid. What was this? Why was he having so much difficulty talking? Had something happened to put him in a hospital?
He tried to think back and figure out what exactly had happened. He remembered being in the hospital after his father had died but what had happened after that? He had gone out. He had met Phoebe. He had had s*x with her and he had… he had run off in a drunken post-s*x panic and he had crashed his car.
Nate groaned. He couldn’t believe how immaturely he had behaved. He couldn’t believe what he had put Phoebe through. He wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. She would probably avoid him completely. Nate realized that, even if she was willing to talk to him, there was no way he would be able to contact her because he did not have her number. He had been far too drunk to think of asking for it. He had been far too drunk to think about the fact that he was too drunk to drive, after all, so forgetting something like asking for her number was not something that he was going to be surprised about.
“Nate?” came his mother’s voice. She sounded like she had been crying. Nate felt like a fist had just clenched around his heart. He could not bear this. He could not bear the thought of his mother feeling this way.
“Mom,” he said, “I’m okay.”
“Okay?” said his mother, sounding slightly hysterical. “You crashed your car into a tree! You were so drunk that doctor’s said you were on the verge of alcohol poisoning! I would think that you’re not fine, Nate, you’re not fine at all. What on earth were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking mom,” said Nate. “That’s what tends to happen when you’re drunk, you take leave of your senses.”
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“Your father died,” said Nate’s mother, “I understand that you are grieving, but-“
“That’s irrelevant mom,” said Nate. “Dad’s… death… I mean it’s bad it’s really fu*king bad and I’m still trying to process the fact that it happened yesterday but… that’s no excuse. I should have been here for you guys, I should have been handling this, not out getting drunk and… just being extremely irresponsible.”
“You’re too hard on yourself,” said Nate’s mother. “You need to cut yourself some slack. However, I do agree with you to some extent. You were being extremely irresponsible. I’m not all that worried about it because you were reacting to something awful that happened but at the end of the day, your father is dead, Nate, you understand what this means don’t you?”
Nate sighed. Here it was. The talk. This was the very thing he had been running from, the very responsibility that he feared the most. How could he tell his mom that he was afraid of running the family company? How could he tell her that in spite of all of the effort his father had put into trying to make him understand the way the business worked and getting everyone to become loyal to Nate, he might not be able to do what everyone had been expecting him to do practically since he had been born?
“I know, mother,” said Nate. “I know what this means. It means that I am going to have to become the CEO and chairman of our company. It means that I am going to have to do dad’s job now.”