She didn’t know what happened next. All she knew was that one minute she was closing the door and the next minute she was pinned against the door by his body. She gasped into his mouth as he kissed her deeply, his lips crushing hers.
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“What the hell is wrong with you, Erica? You are already playing out domestic fantasies in your head with a man you barely know,” she thought. “A man you barely know.” The words were echoing in her head. “Barely know.”
Suddenly, Erica sat up. It was as if something had been switched on, snapping her back to reality. This was not her. This was not in her play book. Maybe Daniel not having the condoms with him was some kind of sign.
“Sh*t,” she thought as she climbed off the bed. She grabbed her clothes from the floor and quickly pulled them on just as Daniel walked back in.
“Okay, I’m back. Where were we…” he started as he closed the door behind him. His voice trailed off when he saw a fully dressed Erica. “What’s going on?” he asked as he walked towards her. Erica knew the kind of hold he had on her and she couldn’t let him get so close. She took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Daniel, I think this was a mistake,” she said in a low voice.
“Why? Three minutes ago, you wanted me as much as I wanted you. What changed?” he asked as he looked at her.
“Maybe not having the condoms with you was some kind of sign that…” Her voice trailed off. She couldn’t really finish that sentence. She knew how silly it sounded. She looked at him and shrugged. This was not a very good position she had allowed herself to be in. She could feel tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. Tears of shame, tears of embarrassment. She turned around and ran to the bathroom leaving a stunned Daniel standing there unsure of what he was supposed to do. She sat on the toilet cursing herself for what had transpired in her room for the last half hour.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” she heard Daniel ask. She shook her head as if he could see her.
“No…no. Just…I’m sorry. I just can’t,” she said. Daniel knew better than anyone what rushing someone into doing something they were not ready for could do. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair.
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“Okay, I’ll just stay…” he started before Erica shook her head again.
“No!” she said interrupting him. “Just go.”
She hated herself for sounding so rude.
“Please Daniel, just go,” she said again. Daniel took another deep breath and stood up. He walked to the door and took a few minutes before he finally walked out of Erica’s room feeling like a complete idiot.
When Erica heard the door close, she slowly walked out of the bathroom and walked over to the bed. She sighed when she saw the packet of Trojans Daniel had left on the bed. She slowly sunk to the floor and wondered if her window was high enough to actually ensure that she would die if she jumped out.