Night By Night

Jennifer could feel a slight blush rising and she looked away. “You need to be more careful in the future.”

“So what happens now?” he asked curiously, noticing she was avoiding answering any questions pertaining to them.

“Nothing. I just came to see how you were doing. What did you expect was going to happen?”

“I was just hopeful that you showing up here meant that you had decided to give us a chance,” he said, his voice getting lower with each word.

“The circumstances that led you to decide you were better off alone still exist. Weeks apart would not have solved that. You have made your decision. I am just abiding by it.”

Adrian remained silent as she spoke. Jennifer’s heart was not as stone even though she spoke so coldly; it was just the defensive guard she now wore. “What’s to stop you from deciding you aren’t ready anymore? Or that you want to be with someone else? Or that your goals have changed? You do not represent stability to me now and for that reason, I cannot be with you.” she turned and walked out the door before he had chance to respond.

When she got outside the tears started flowing again and she hurried away before she was blinded by them. Why did she come? She hurried across the street and into a cab that would take her away to some place Adrian was not. She stopped by the community park close to her home where she always jogged, and sat on one of the park benches. It was a weekday so the park was practically empty, and as she sat there she basked in the solitude and the wide open space. She wanted to scream at the sky, to howl at the moon, but her voice seemed disconnected and could only be heard from the inside. She wanted him, needed him, but how would that happen for them again? She did not trust him anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

She looked up to see who had disturbed her reverie and saw that it was Sara. “Hey Sara.”

Sara sat down next to her. “What’s eating you? I have been trying to get your attention from across the fountain. What’s the matter?”

“I just came from the hospital,” Jennifer said.

“The hospital? What the hell is going on? Are you pregnant?” she asked, trying to come up with ideas herself.

“No, nothing is wrong with me and I am definitely not pregnant. It’s Adrian. He was in an accident and Malcolm told me this morning he was asking for me. I thought it the polite thing to do to visit him, but being there opened a whole can of worms and I’m not quite ready to go fishing.”

“How was it?” she prodded.

“He wants to get back, but I am not so sure I want him back, even though I love him. I don’t trust him anymore Sara. How do I know when he will get up one day and decide he doesn’t want me anymore? This time it came with no warning, and I’m sure I won’t be able to tell if it will happen again. If I am going to be with someone, it has to be stable and I want to be sure he is willing and ready to commit to me.”

“I understand dear, and I can’t decide for you. It would seem that you have your mind all made up, and I am proud of you for it,” Sara said and stretched out her hand to give her friend a hug. “Usually I’d tell you to chase after him, but how can I argue with logic like that. I think you are even beginning to rub off on me,” she added.

Jennifer looked at her now. “How so?”

“I have actually dated the same man five times and I think I really like him,” she said and then blushed with embarrassment.

Jennifer’s face lit up and her sorrow was almost forgotten. “Sara that is great news. Tell me about him.”

“Well, his name is Zach, and he works in the construction industry. Yay high, athletic body, great sense of humour and refuses to take no for an answer. I have taken quite a fancy to him too. I was supposed to meet him out here.”

“I am so happy for you. It is about time you stopped being a rolling stone, not that that frame of mind has done me any good,” she said now, returning to her melancholy state.

“Oh no you don’t. I will not have you sitting next to me with that face,” and with that she started to tickle her. Jennifer jumped up and threatened to knock her out if she didn’t stop. Finally she stood facing her. “Jen, I really do want nothing but the best for you, and I hope everything works out, with you and Adrian or some other Prince Charming.”

“Thanks Sara, I wish the same for you too. I think I need to head home. I am a tad bit tired.” The girls embraced and Jennifer stalked off in the direction of her home. When she was a little way away, she turned around, only to see Sara swept up in the embrace of a taller gentleman. That must be Zach, Jennifer thought and smiled. Pity her story couldn’t have a similar ending.