Night By Night

He had proven to be the very thing she had spent so much time running away from, and now she was forced to start that journey all over again.

She finally made it home amidst the stares and head turns she received along the way, and the pitiful looks only made her feel worse. She threw herself on the sofa as she opened her door, and the remainder of the tears soaked the velvety fabric of the sofa. She cried long and hard, dispelling the man from her system, and when she was done she went to her bathroom, showered and got herself together.

She looked in the mirror and reminded herself she did nothing wrong by letting him inside her heart, and she was not sure with all the tears she had cried that she was anywhere near vanquishing him from her soul. She had let him too far inside and now she needed a way to exorcise him before she was devoured from the inside out.

She went to the kitchen and poured herself some wine, and even in so doing his presence permeated her space and she remembered all the wine they had shared. She was just walking past the living area when she heard a knock at the door. It was only then that she remembered that Sara was supposed to stop by. She would have ignored her if not for the fact that she had the spare key. She dragged herself to the door, wearing a pyjama bottom and her robe.

Sara stood there looking at her in astonishment.

“What is the meaning of this?” She asked. “One man is enough to make you want to mope about the place dressed like a monk?”

“Not now Sara. I’m still licking my wound. The injury was inflicted today remember? I’m allowed some pity time.” She walked past Sara now and to her bedroom. There she sat on the bed and instead of sipping; she downed the entire glass of wine. At this interval Sara took the glass from her and sat next to her. She hugged her friend as the tears resumed their descent.

“You loved him did you?” she asked.

“I did, and I didn’t even know it until this minute. I thought everything was going so well. Was I wrong to want more?” She sobbed, her shoulders shaking as she spoke.

“No honey, you were not. It’s just that sometimes these things happen, but you have to get past it before it consumes you. I will not stand by and let this be the end of you and future relationships.”

Jennifer scoffed at her as she mentioned the word ‘relationship’. “What future relationship? I think I’ve had it,” she said, now throwing herself against the pillows and covering her face with the throw pillow she kept on her bed.

“That’s what I’m talking about. You don’t get to decide that now. Just live through this moment and then we can talk about that. Have you eaten?” Sara asked.

“I’m not hungry,” Jennifer retorted.

Sara ignored her and went to the kitchen. She came back shortly with tea and crackers; you will at least have this.

Jennifer sat up and took the meagre morsel from her friend and bit off a small piece before returning the saucer to her friend. She curled up in the bed and there was nothing Sara could do but lay next to her, helping her to relax.

Jennifer appreciated her friend at the moment, for she at least stopped the free falling of tears every five minutes. She didn’t know when she fell asleep but when she awakened Sara was gone. She lay there in the stillness of the night and all she could think about was him, and where he was now. She got up now and walked to the kitchen. She would make herself some chamomile tea to soothe her nerves. The crackers did not seem such a bad idea now and she took out the bag of saltine. She sat there on the sofa, and ate while she watched reruns of her favourite Bill Cosby episodes. She felt like she was stuck in the Bermuda triangle because morning would never come. She fell asleep again on the sofa, and woke up finally to see the faintest signs of daybreak creeping under the door and windowsill. She thought about going for a jog but doubted that would do anything for her this morning, so she settled on sitting there until it was time to go to work.

A week later, Adrian woke up, plagued by the same demons that have been haunting Jennifer ever since. What a fool he had been to start something he already knew he wasn’t ready for, and what a bigger fool he was to end it after he had already started. What alternatives did he have now? Go to work, and then what? Malcolm chided him almost every time he saw him, and he thinks he deserved it. He got out of bed and dressed for work, just like he did every morning, only this morning, he wouldn’t be taking out his phone to call Jennifer first; this morning he wouldn’t be placing an order for a bouquet; this morning he had nothing to look forward to in the night and the thought of all of that combined was enough to render him unstable.

He drove to work, but when he got there, he may as well have stayed home; he was in no position to work. He stood at the office door, eyeing the vendor across the street, now remembering how this had all started. He looked around the office and noticed the curious stares of his employees and pushed the door open and stepped onto the pavement. He needed to get the morning paper, but when he stepped into the street, so consumed was he by thoughts of her that he forgot to look, and he didn’t notice the oncoming car until he heard the screeching and the car careened into him. He flipped across the front of the car and landed in the middle of the street. Before he passed out he could hear the sounds of ‘call 911’ ringing in his ears. Soon all the noise faded and all that remained was her face, in the centre of a light so brilliant he couldn’t look directly into it. Was this death? He was not sure, and he could not tell for two days more, until finally he could hear a beeping sound close to his ear.

He strained to open his eyes, and when he did he could hear Malcolm’s voice. “Man don’t you ever do that again. You almost killed me,” he said, relief masking his now fading fear.

Adrian chuckled inside for he could not speak yet. He tried to mouth the words to Malcolm but he couldn’t understand. He wanted him to get Jennifer; he felt like he needed her to live.

“Are you feeling any pain?” Malcolm asked. “Should I call the doctor? Wait, silly question. I should call the doctor.”

Adrian was feeling pain all right, but not the kind any doctor could cure. Nonetheless a doctor showed up in a few seconds and started checking his vitals. They told him to blink or wriggle body parts to confirm proper functioning, and he was able to do all they asked. Or that’s what he thought; the mind can be a powerful thing.

When the doctor left Malcolm sat down and wiped his hand over his face. “You gave me quite a scare man. It seems everything is working fine but you cracked a few ribs doing your acrobatic stunt.”

This time Adrian was able to open his mouth. “Did I get it right?” He asked sheepishly.

“You got it right alright. All the ribs you broke were over on that side,” he laughed. “What happened back there?”

“I don’t know. The last thing I remember is going across the street to get the papers, but I guess I wasn’t looking.”

“You were thinking about her weren’t you?” quizzed Malcolm.

“I need to see her buddy. I don’t want to live without her.”

“Oh, now I get it. A brother has been here saying that very thing and was completely ignored. But when he gets mowed over by a car he gets an epiphany. Next time, just remind me to throw a car at you,” Malcolm teased.

Adrian chuckled again, this time out loud. “Sometimes us men need a hard hit to get it,” he agreed. “Do me that favour will you Malcolm? Find Jennifer.”

Malcolm smiled at his friend as he rose and patted him on the back. “Rest up bro, I got this,” he said as he left the room.

Adrian lay there in the silence, contemplating all that had happened, and he wondered if it would be too late to win back her heart.