Make Me Yours

There was pain, there was longing, but most of all, there was hope. Darn it! Who had she been fooling? She still loved this man. Very much.

“Zoey… I… You… You look beautiful.”

“Thank you, but not here. Let’s go back to the house.”

The walk back was silent and she was painfully aware of his protective presence beside her. He was on guard, watching her carefully as if he was ready to catch her, should she begin to fall.

She tried to ignore it and how it gnawed at her, and filled her with warmth at the same time. She managed to do this until they got to the house, but as they started climbing the wooden steps, his hands shot out to hold her.

“I am pregnant, not broken. And I have been getting by just fine without you. Get your hands off me.”

He immediately released her, as though she had burned him. But hadn’t she? Oh, she had not meant to sound so angry, but the fact that she was still in love with this man did not mean that she had forgiven him so easily.

No, she had not.

Those lonely nights of heart ache. Crazy pregnancy hormones driving her wild with cravings of food and the kind of s*x she knew only Xen could give her. Days of endless painful thoughts and wondering why he did what he did; if it had been easy for him and if he felt even a fraction of the pain she felt; if he missed her as much as she missed him. If he felt any guilt at all.

Those dark days had been endless and she had thought she would never recover. So how could she forgive him so easily because he had flown halfway across the world to find her – only after he had realized that she was carrying his child? No doubt he had simply come to secure his child; another heir of Li Groups, legitimate or not.

Her friends were on the porch and with one look, Zoey told them it was okay and they could get lost. They did leave, but she knew they didn’t go farther than five meters away. Far enough to afford them privacy yet close enough to come running at the first glimpse of trouble.

Finally, the door closed behind them and it was just the two of them, all alone in the big beach house.

They sat, facing each other and a spell of silence descended.

“I am sorry I tried to touch you. I was only trying to help.” he said after a while.

“I’m not sorry I snapped at you. I was simply releasing months of pent up anger, betrayal, hurt and frustration.”

“You have every right to be angry.”

“Damn right, I do. What are you doing here, Xen? Came to see if you can get custody rights to your child? Well, no. You only get visiting and holiday privileges.”

He was very calm, his voice soft as he responded. “I came for the child, yes. But I also came for you, Zoey. The both of you. I do not want one or the other, I want both.”

“How rich. First, you lie to my face and leave without a single explanation. Then, you let me find out about your marriage in the news. Now, you insult me by thinking I’d agree to be your mistress?” He had to be kidding her.

“Not mistress. Never that. I’ve always wanted more than that with you, Zoey. Marriage. A family. All of it.”

“Sure. Yet, you went and had it with another woman.”

“None of it was real. It was all a sham.”

“Oh wow. Wow. You know, I thought of all the ways you would try to spin this, and I didn’t think you would pick the most obvious of all. C’mon Xen. You can tell a better lie than that. After all, you were able to make me believe that you loved me.”

“I loved you… I still love you, Zoey. I never stopped. I never will.”

She scoffed. “I am not too certain your wife would be happy to know you’re here telling me that. How did you manage to make her let you go, anyway? I saw her pictures. She looks just like your mother. No wonder I could never come close. Mrs Li obviously likes them snobbish and plastic.”

“Well deserved. We all deserve that. But if you must know, the sham of a marriage has come to an end. Please, just let me explain, Zoey. I know I was wrong and I cannot hope to undo what I did. All I can promise you is that if you let me, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

Her heart tingled at that, at the prospect of the rest of her life with Xen, but she ignored it.

“Start talking. And you better make it worth my time.”

So he talked, and Zoey listened to him. She heard the truth in his words; saw it in his face, read it in those eyes. And as he told her all that had happened, from the fake bankruptcy, arranged marriage, to his mother’s affair with Charles, she saw that he too had been through hell.

That he had suffered just as much as she had. For some reason, it did not give her the contentment she had thought it would bring. It only made her ache for him. He had been betrayed by two friends and his mother. That had to su*k.

When he finished, silence rang again. She took her time taking it all in, not knowing what to say. She eventually decided.

“Oh Xen… I am so sorry. I had no idea all of this was happening.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. All of this was my fault. I trusted the wrong people. Li Group has been solid for decades. I should have known it wouldn’t fall so easily. I should have dug deeper, found a way to still be with you. But I gave up easily and chose the easiest way out.”

“Nonsense! Listen to me, it is not your fault that your mother has issues, and you never thought that she would hurt you in such a manner to get back at you. You are a very wonderful person, Xen. Despite all that has happened between us, I can still admit that much. You didn’t deserve to go through any of that.”