I’ve Got You

“I’m sorry ‘you’ don’t get me. I’m sorry ‘you,’ don’t realize how much I care. You see exactly what he’s doing there. That man is guilt tripping you to the max. He’s not sorry for anything!” Kiara interlocked her fingers. “He’s basically saying it’s your fault you don’t get him.” Kiara seemed flabbergasted by Peter’s audacity.

“What do you think, hun?” Vaneese crooned to her husband, who was aggressively stroking his mustache.

“I think he’s a psychopath,” Dijon said. “Those are manipulation tactics he’s giving you, right there. He’s mad you got away. He’s trying to restore his pride. That’s my two cents on the matter.”

“I honestly thought you guys were kidding,” Kiara said. “I thought to myself, ‘that can’t be true, no one can be that obvious.’ Look how mistaken I was.” Her deep voice broke into a chuckle.

“Well, there you have it. My ex, ladies and gentlemen.” Aleshia smiled thinly. “I would toast to it, but someone doesn’t want me to drink…”

“If you want that baby to end up as retarded as your ex, you can keep drinking if you want,” Vaneese said. “I’ll be judging you the whole way, though.”

Mood bolstered, Aleshia smiled with genuine warmth. “Thanks guys. If I’d been by myself, I probably would have been crying my eyes out. Instead I was struggling to not laugh.”

“How do you feel?” Kiara asked. “I know we did force you into taking the call. You have every right to feel put out for that.”

“I am. A little. But I understand. And it helped.” Aleshia shrugged. “I just… it gets to me.”

“Block him,” Vaneese said. “Now.”

Again, Aleshia hesitated at the idea of committing to such a notion. “I know that would be the wiser option. But I can’t help but think you know, of my baby wondering about who her father is. And that it’s unfair to deny him the chance to be a father, if he changes his mind.”

Kiara shook her head sadly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe he will change, maybe he won’t. But from where I’m sitting, I think you’ll be better off cutting him from your life. A child will suffer with a father like that.”

“Fu*k sake…” Aleshia held her head in her hands. “I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. I should have been… stronger. Insisted he use a condom. Now I’m saddled with someone who is probably gonna grow up screwed because she or he lacks daddy influence.”

“Or, you could find another man,” Dijon said.

Vaneese and Kiara stared at him. “You think someone will want to go for a woman who is pregnant with another man’s child?”

Dijon nodded. “It depends on the man. I have a friend who has a wife with children from two different relationships. Despite not having any children himself. He likes the ready-made package.”

“I thought men would be massively intimidated by something like this,” Vaneese said.

“Oh, some will. Most, if I’m honest.” Dijon finished off his whiskey glass. “Doesn’t mean everyone will.”

“You might be better off not worrying about that. My mom raised me alone. I turned out okay,” Kiara stated.

“Did you?” Vaneese raised an eyebrow at her friend.

Aleshia reflected on her mother, Gail. Gail raised Aleshia after the loss of her husband, when she had hit eleven years in age. Vaneese had already moved out by then, with Dijon. Aleshia didn’t think the situation applied the same, since she at least knew her dad for a good portion of her life, before he passed away. The child inside her would never know her dad, especially if she chose to eradicate him from her life.

Would that be a good or a bad thing? Could you miss what you never had? She imagined her child going to school, a formless, genderless creature sitting behind a desk, being asked questions by the other kids. My dad did this today. Where’s your dad? Having to skip out on father’s day.

“I keep thinking about how I would feel, if I went to school, and people kept asking me questions about my dad.” Aleshia said. “I know it’s dumb, but I keep hanging onto those reasons. I don’t want my child to have to not know a father.”

“For fu*ks sake, Ali.” Vaneese stepped over to her sister, pressing one hard hand onto her wrist. “Get that out of your mind. Stop giving him excuses to stay in your life. Your baby, when you’re not saturating it in toxic liquids, will not benefit from a dad like that. And if he does change his tune, if he truly, remorsefully, wants to make up for everything he’s done, he’ll find a way to prove it to you. But right now, you do not need him in your life.”

The choice loomed ahead as an awful possibility. She felt like a monster for considering it.

“Give her more time,” Kiara suggested. “She’s not completely there. She needs more time to breathe in her freedom.”

“I’m sick of him controlling her, even when he’s supposed to be her ex,” Vaneese responded sharply.

Gradually they steered the topic away from the phone debacle, allowing Aleshia time to process the talk and her sister’s words more seriously, and sailed instead into calmer waters. Discussions about Miami versus Miami Beach came up. Complaints about the humid hot weather dominated their grievances, with the winter season being amongst everyone’s favorite time.

Aleshia smiled and nodded along with the conversation, having her own notions about Miami. She still didn’t know if she wanted to make the city – or two cities, as Miami Beach was officially separate from the mainland – her home. She did, however, like the tropical climate.

Tropical climate was nice. Less bitingly cold. Aleshia hated winters spent shivering indoors next to a fire as she attempted to work. She much preferred the idea of constant warmth fueling her ambitions of a successful online career. She enjoyed telling her clients or the people she communicated with online that she came from Miami. People reacted with amazement, or gushed about the fact Florida had Disneyland, and seemed to have such nice weather.