I’ve Got You

“I know,” Aleshia agreed, grimacing. She had not been thinking too clearly at the time, past the desperate need to please her partner, to realize her dreams of keeping a solid family unit and the successful life she had always wanted, like her mom and her sister.

“You said it was after you announced the pregnancy that it all collapsed.”

“Yes.” Aleshia sucked in her breath. No. She wouldn’t allow herself to get mad again. However, the madness beckoned in a tempting manner. How sweet would it be, just to give into that storm of emotion, to howl and beat at the walls with how unfair everything was. A darker voice reminded her of how much she had fu*ked up by refusing to see Peter for what he really was. The handsome, charismatic Peter, who hid within him a domineering monster, that guilt tripped her, forced her to feel miserable and unhappy and convinced that nothing she ever did could be good enough for him.

She had truly believed that everything was her fault. Even now, his insidious voice scratched at her conscience. Vaneese spotted the signs.

“Aleshia. Aleshia. Look at me.”

Both sisters kept eye contact. “Remember. None of it was your fault.”

With a slow, quiet exhalation, Aleshia let go of the boiling anger. “I know. It’s just hard sometimes to remember that.” She tapped her fingers on the armrest. “Well, after he tried to say it wasn’t his child, and I proved him wrong by having to go to the fu*king doctor about it, he insisted I needed to stay at home to minimize risk of injury to the child. Really, it was his excuse to keep me under lock and key. I only found out in one drunken burst of confession that he didn’t give a sh*t about the child. He just wanted me to be in his life forever, he would do anything to have that happen. Even if it meant locking me in the basement. He tried to shrug that off as a joke, afterward… but holy fu*k were there alarm bells ringing in my head.”

“That’s not including the bells when he slapped you around for going to the shop by yourself because there was no milk in the fridge, right?”

Aleshia’s laugh became scornful. “That goes without saying. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Mom handled the aftermath. You probably caught that part.”

“I did.” Vaneese placed fingers over her eyes. “She wanted you to come to me before you did something stupid, like kill yourself.” She chugged down more beer. “She wanted you to stay with her. But she didn’t want you to stay in Minnesota. So, kinda a conflict, there.”

“I asked him if he wanted anything to do with his kid, the other day.” Aleshia said. “You know what he answered?”

“The other day? Come on…”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you want to know what he said or not?”

“Hit me.”

“He said he would be happy to raise the kid. As long as I got back together with him. Otherwise I could screw off.”

“Motherfu*ker!” Vaneese spat. She slammed her beer aggressively on the table. “I swear, if you don’t block him right now, I’ll take your phone myself and do it. Hack into your accounts, block everything. Hire some hacker to do it.”

Aleshia felt both flattered and alarmed at her sister’s reaction. She needed to keep Peter in her life. Not because she wanted him back. She was past that. But because she didn’t think her child deserved to never know her father. “I was disgusted when he said that. But, do I have a right to stop my baby from knowing him?”

“You should tell the baby his or her father is dead. I’m serious. That is not someone you want in your life.”

Aleshia sighed. It looked like it would be a while before she could convince her sister otherwise. Or even herself. She patted her stomach as they talked. By the end of the evening, they still hadn’t reached an agreement on things, other than the promise for regular visits, and a consideration to move closer.

Aleshia needed time to think.