I’ve Got You

Two minutes later, in the muffled quiet that followed Amy’s new position in her room, with the additional cluttering sounds of favorite toys being removed, Vaneese returned to the phone. “Right. That’s sorted for now. She’s getting better, but she has lapses. I can’t forego punishments, though. She needs to learn. I don’t want her turning out as the teenager from hell when she grows up.”

“Yeah,” Aleshia replied, thoughts elsewhere, already debating whether to stop the call or not.

As if sensing her intentions, Vaneese said, “Stay with me. Tell me what’s happening. You said you deleted Peter?”

Aleshia bobbed her head, despite the fact her sister was unable to see the gesture. “Yeah. I was thinking… thinking lots.” She struggled to keep her voice from shaking, whilst pouring a fourth cup of coffee. “Wondering why I kept making excuses for him, when I knew somewhere deep inside he wouldn’t change. He might be charming, for a while, if I went back. But then he would show himself again, when he thought that I wouldn’t leave him.”

“That’s… true.” Vaneese drawled the words. “But you also kept persisting on the idea that you didn’t want to be selfish to the baby. I got that, even if I didn’t like that son of a bi*ch. So why the change? Is it to do with the ultrasound? How did that go?”

Images of the ultrasound skipped into existence. “It went fine. I’m having a boy.”

Another pause. “Congratulations! Cameron went with you, yes?”

“Yes.”

Suspicion tainted Vaneese. “This isn’t anything to do with Cameron, is it?”

“Little bit.” Aleshia responded reticently. She didn’t want to be deterred from her decision, though a large chunk of her heart desperately wished someone would stop her from making the choice. “Though I’ve also had these thoughts floating in my head for a while.”

“Go on…”

Taking the time to collect the frayed segments of emotion, Aleshia tried to explain, though her words came out more desperate than she liked. “I don’t think it will work out between me and Cameron. I think it will go the same way it went between me and Peter. I think once the baby is born, he’s gonna change his mind.”

Footsteps came from Vaneese’s end, likely walking to a quieter spot, as Amy could be heard screaming in the background. The noise dimmed. Aleshia hated that it was such a nice day outside. The warmth penetrated her bones, though it never once touched the icy ball in her abdomen.

“There’s no guarantee that will happen,” Vaneese shot back. “I know you, you tend to overthink matters. Maybe give yourself a breather, and just take the moment as it is.”

“I’m not overthinking. I’m basing this on patterns – what I’ve experienced,” Aleshia gabbled, a little fear now injecting itself into her heart.

“You haven’t experienced everything the world has to offer. I haven’t either,” Vaneese reprimanded. “I mean, I don’t know Cameron well, but I can see he’s got a good heart.”

“How can you know that? It can be a cover. Just like with Peter.”

“Uh, if you remember, babe, I was first on your case when you hooked up with Peter. I saw him as bad apples. Cameron isn’t bad apples. Maybe a little bruised – he’s had some issues with past relationships, from what I’ve gathered off Dijon. But he’s nowhere near the same ilk as that piece of scum.”

Slumping against her glass, Aleshia shook her head. “There’s no way you can see everything.”

“I detect a note of self-pity in your tone, there. You’re not doing that wallowing in misery thing, where you feel like your life is ruined and there’s nothing you can do about it?”

“No.” Aleshia scowled at the phone, biting back the temptation to insult or belittle her sister. It didn’t matter if she did – Vaneese shrugged off insults like flies.

“Sure.” Sarcasm laced Vaneese’s response. “Look. Just give yourself time to calm down. I know things are coming to a head, but don’t start throwing your sh*t out the window because you’re afraid it’s all going to fail. Just don’t. Don’t make a mistake you’ll end up regretting.”

“Too late,” Aleshia whispered, and hung up.

Almost instantly, the phone began ringing, buzzing like a persistent mosquito. Vaneese would be furious – no one hung up on her when she delivered advice. If Aleshia ignored the calls, her sister would come storming around later. It didn’t help Vaneese now lived much closer, sharing the same shoreline with her.

Contrary to desire, Aleshia answered the phone once more. “Leave me alone. I need to think things through.”

“You hung up on me on a note that sounded like you were intending to commit suicide, babe. Don’t you do that.”

Contrite, Aleshia apologized.

“I can tell you’re ready to spike up if I start doing my thing,” Vaneese mused. “So, I’ll just say this. One: never end a call with me like that again. Two: I know you’re going through a hard time. You need to know that I will always support you. Alright? That’s not something that will change. You know me. I’m always there when needed.”

“I know.” A lump wedged itself in Aleshia’s throat. Whatever she expected, this statement threw her off-balance. “Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

If Vaneese suspected Aleshia was drinking, she didn’t bring it up. “Be strong, sista. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The call ended, albeit more amiably than the previous attempt. The darkness remained inside Aleshia, though the promise of her sister delved gentle hooks into her soul. She knew, without the shadow of a doubt, Vaneese would always be there. Vaneese was the stone forming out of a river. The river parted way around her. You didn’t move that stone.

She couldn’t say the same for Cameron. She knew Vaneese her entire life. Cameron Lovell in comparison barely registered as a footprint in time spent.

It’s a pretty heavy footprint, to be fair, Aleshia mused. If I decide to continue… this thing I have with Cameron, I can act like nothing happened. If I don’t… I can’t take his calls. He makes me forget.

The knowledge instilled itself. Aleshia had choices, now. Taking deep breaths to calm herself down, she pictured the unborn son in her belly. What kind of future did she envision for the child? None, really. She still scrambled on the idea of cleaning up the mess left behind, and dealing with the fallout of personal choices. Mistakes. They happened, of course. Everyone made mistakes. Aleshia didn’t want to make any more and risk her position now.

Heart heavy, she grimly resolved to the new choice. She almost failed in the decision, when she received a text from Cameron in the evening, asking if she was busy. The plan almost fell apart then. Steeling herself, she resisted the urge to reply. He sent one more probing message later in the evening, before the phone kept its stubborn silence. Without the spam of messages from Peter, the knot of stress inside relaxed.

This is the right choice. This is.

If Cameron didn’t think anything odd with her lack of response that evening, he certainly did over the next coming weeks. Innocent probes into her life, asking when she was free, if she would come over for dinner, if they wanted to continue their romps from earlier… all of these messages flooded Aleshia with guilt. He had no idea, and she wasn’t telling him.