I’ve Got You

Looks like we’re not fu*king around this bush, Aleshia thought. With nothing to lose, she responded, “No. I don’t. I lost it, the more I became ensnared in his little mind games. The final straw was when the pregnancy was announced, and it became a sh*tfest from there.”

“Why do you still have his number on your phone, then?”

Aleshia sighed, before sipping her water. “I feel like I can’t cut him out of the kid’s life. I keep imagining the child asking me awkward questions about where daddy is. Daddy doesn’t give a damn about the peanut I’ve got here, but I can’t bring myself to completely delete him out. I don’t however, want to get back with him.” She folded her arms defensively. “If I did, I’d become like one of those stories where you hear about a woman whose been locked in her basement for years, until some friendly passing neighbor hears her scratching on the walls or something.”

Cameron’s jaw dropped, then adjusted into an amused grin. “That bad, huh?”

“It’s my sister’s phrasing. I’m only just… starting to let it fully register, what kind of mind fu*k I got out of. I can tell you about it, but it might not be a fun ride for either of us. In exchange, though, you tell me about yourself.”

“Deal,” he said.

With a sigh, and an oddly cracked voice, which altered into monotone whenever she breached a sensitive subject, she unraveled to Cameron Lovell the pitiful scraps of her life. She didn’t tell him about her childhood, or the extreme grief she felt at the loss of her wonderful father, who wanted nothing but the best for her. She started with the jealously she felt with her sister, feeling like she was in competition. She mentioned the brief flings with previous boyfriends, but not finding anything solid to cling to. Meeting Peter just over a year ago, when her freelancing at that point was gaining ground, earning her decent amounts of money at last, she found in him a charming, handsome man who appeared to dote on her every word, go out of his way to make sure she felt like a queen.

Skipping the more intimate details, Aleshia focused on the devolving situation of her and Peter. There were hints, and signs, but she chose to ignore them, ecstatic at the notion of having a long term boyfriend, so she didn’t feel like the ugly duckling of the pack anymore. However, the stable and happy relationship she craved, like her mother and father had, and like Vaneese and Dijon lived – nothing quite turned out to plan. Peter became more notably possessive and jealous, asking her to not wear makeup, not meet up with male friends…

Cameron listened to the tale with an impassive face, showing nothing of the thoughts that lay within. He did, however, narrow his eyes when Aleshia talked about the controlling nature of her boyfriend, and looked both amused and disgusted when she mentioned the part where he wanted her to take responsibility for their s*x together, because he didn’t want to wear a condom, and he didn’t believe she was allergic to the pill – she was just lying to not have s*x with him. He even ignored her mother’s confirmation that Aleshia was indeed allergic to the pill.

One trip to the hospital later cleared up that misconception. He relented, instead persuading her to consider getting an implant. She was on the waiting list to have one placed in her arm, when she discovered the pregnancy.

Explaining the obsession, the fear, the craven desire to please proved difficult for Aleshia, but she struggled through, under the quiet encouragement of Cameron. Finally, she ended with her arrival in Miami, with no clue how she wanted things to proceed next – only that she wanted to be near her sister to help cope with the fallout.

Vaneese, of course, welcomed the notion. She didn’t want Aleshia anywhere near Peter, and tried numerous times to get Aleshia to erase him from her life. She mentioned Vaneese’s constant vilification of Peter, and how after so long, it finally started to settle in her mind. The distance helped her deal with who he really was.

The manipulation of Peter, demanding for Aleshia to come back, he would only be a father if she did – invoked a grunt of annoyance from Cameron. “That sounds like you dodged a bullet, there. I understand why you may not want to erase him completely… but I’m inclined to agree with Vaneese on this. You need to delete that bas*ard’s number. It’s your choice, though.”

“It is. Part of me doesn’t want this baby, either. But I also don’t want to put it up for adoption. I keep imagining if it was me, growing up, either in foster care or with eventually finding out the knowledge that my mother ditched me… I don’t think I can do that.” She sighed, and patted her abdomen. “And I’ve been feeling empty for a while. Even before Peter, and he never filled that emptiness up. Maybe this little one might be an answer.”

Cameron Lovell nodded. “Thank you for telling me. I know you didn’t enjoy that.”

“It had to be said. You wanted to know why I’m in this situation. Why someone you liked ended up pregnant, single and running. You got it.” She gave a wry smile. He imitated it.

In return, he explained something of himself to Aleshia. An only child, he grew up never in want of anything, also with parents and grandparents and cousins and relatives whom all contributed to the stability of his life. He followed in his father’s footsteps when it came to becoming an estate agent – this was in fact the same company his father was a senior manager in. He also dated a string of girls, lived the wild, party life, because despite the near immaculate upbringing he had, he also felt that there was something severely lacking. It always lay there, like an abscess to his soul. He eventually concluded that no amount of pretty girls, s*x, drinking, and successful deals could wipe away the feeling. People were a chore. Life just slogged along, which was why at the age of thirty-three, despite liking his job, he was single, and felt like life didn’t have any purpose.