I’ll Wait For You

“I’m happy with you. And I hope, well, believe, you like me as well. However, if you want to start a family at some point, and I suspect you might…” Elinor’s gaze drifting to his covered arms, where she knew where the tree tattoo would be, “It’s entirely possible you’ll never be able to have one with me. It might be better in the long run to avoid that pain before it comes.”

Instead of Kostya’s face drooping, of the shadows to become more pronounced over his cheekbones, and a cold distance to form between the warmth and closeness they once shared, he smiled. His eyes, with their pale, chilling color, radiated admiration. “But there is a small chance you can still conceive, right?”

Elinor shrugged. “Yeah. But really small. And I don’t have the best track record.”

“Okay. Is it important for you to have children?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I think I would like some. I was desperate to have some when I was with my ex, because it was all he wanted from me. I felt like a failure when it didn’t work out. Like I’d betrayed my gender and purpose, I suppose.”

“He’s a bas*ard,” Kostya said bluntly. “And you know it, and you should stop thinking of yourself like that.”

“I guess.” Elinor sounded doubtful. The doubt marred her features, and the kitten, sensing a form of malcontent, mewed, and stretched out a trembling paw to her shoulder. “Oh, hell. This thing is too cute.” She smiled at Valentine and stroked her until the purrs began vibrating.

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that aspect of things for a while then, in our relationship. We won’t have so much time together, because I’ll be traveling, and you’ll likely be commissioned by other bands recruited by Fusion Chord. I’ve already had two inquiries by Rain Parade and Blue Dimension – both whom you might have heard of.”

Elinor had. She recalled her favorite songs by the bands, both which had gathered over fifty million views on YouTube. One liked heavy rock, the other employed jazz and blues as their signature tunes. “Really?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you about it later. Children are not a priority for us. And if you feel like you want to have them in the time we’re together, then there are probably ways we can approach it. Treatments. Maybe even the concept of a surrogate mother if your body simply cannot handle pregnancy. Worse comes to worse, we can adopt. Or get a lot more cats.”

Elinor let out a choking laugh at the last statement. “Cats?”

“You have seen Valentine, right?” He grinned, pulling her close to him on the sofa, and she tucked up her knees and burrowed into his warmth, the same way Valentine blinked sleepy eyes, slowing in her purring.

“She’s adorable. Though she’s so calm. Was she a street cat?”

“I’m not sure. But she is social. And not so afraid of humans. And I think she likes you.”

Elinor’s heart melted for the dark ball of fuzz in her arms, defrosting completely at what Kostya Vasilev had told her, and suggested. “You’re making it hard for me to get rid of you, aren’t you?”

“Is that me or the cat?”

“Both.”

He rubbed her shoulder, sometimes squeezing her arm. “I hope so. Because you’ll find I can be quite stubborn when it comes to these things. I don’t want to leave you. You’re a good woman, with a rare touch. It helps that you’re beautiful, of course, but you have a lot inside that just fits. You like to be alone – and that’s good, because I have to travel a lot in this job. You can be funny, though I’m obviously funnier.”

“Ha, ha,” Elinor said.

“See? You have a calm personality, so you’re not going to be screaming in my ear every five seconds. You’re a bit stupid because you keep denying yourself happiness by doubting if you deserve it,” he said, squeezing her tighter. “Like by trying to break up with me just now. Which is why I want to dispel all those doubts and make it clear to you that you have a place here,” he indicated the room, “and here.” He pointed to his heart.

“Aww. That’s sweet,” Elinor said. Though she said the words in a sarcastic way, waves of happiness and confused sadness crashed inside her. What Kostya said made her happy, but it also made her infinitely sad.

“Look at you, trying not to cry,” he said with a wink. “You’re really not used to being so happy, are you?”

One tear leaked out, and Elinor wiped it, before tasting it.

“I love you, Elinor. You’re right about your hair starting to resemble a helmet, though. I could probably swing a sword at it and the sword would break.”

“Rude.” Elinor laughed, a few more tears spilling. The kitten, startled by the explosion of sound, wriggled out of her grasp and shot across the floor, before skidding to a halt, green eyes wide and curious at the massive expanse presented to it.

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

Elinor hugged him tight, no longer restricted by a fluffy kitten, and whispered, sad and smiling at the same time, “I won’t. I love you.”

“Great! I was worried there for a second,” he said, grabbing her in a tight, air choking embrace, until she was forced in a muffled voice to ask him to let go. “I have two favors to ask you.”

More than a little dazed, Elinor nodded, as her fingers brushed the side of his cheek, feeling the muscle underneath, and the blood pulsing. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

“Be careful of saying those words,” he growled, snatching her in a breath-taking kiss, plumping her lips, until he pulled back. “Where was I? Favor. I’m going to get a new tattoo. Could you come with me when I get it?”

Elinor debated the idea. “Can I get one, too?”

He smiled. “You may. It’s a good tattooist I’m seeing. Be sure it’s what you want, though.”

“What tattoo are you planning to get?”

“A nightingale in a patch of white and purple heather. A prize if you can guess what it represents.”

Elinor fell momentarily speechless. “Thank you.”

“It would have been awkward if you broke up with me today, to say the least.”

“Yeah…” Elinor smirked. “I can see why. What was the second favor?”

“To come with me to Velocity Café on Friday. Feel free to ask your friends, your family, if they want to come too. I’d like a chance to speak to them.”

“I’ll check in with them,” Elinor said. “Though I hope you realize I’ve been fired, so I can’t exactly serve you any drinks.”

They stared at each other a moment. “S*x, or Vikings?” Kostya asked.

“We’re like two episodes from the finale. And I haven’t seen them. Vikings,” Elinor confirmed. “And s*x after.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said, shaking hands with her as if they’d just cemented a deal. Giggling, Elinor got off the sofa, and followed him into the recreation room.