I’ll Wait For You

Elinor considered the words, and a quote popped into her mind. She doubted Karen would ever listen to it, nor cared, but she felt, deep down, that this quote had appeared in her head for a reason.

“As Einstein said, if God didn’t exist, then we would have invented him.” She glanced at Karen, who looked livid, frightened, baffled. “Applies for you. If an enemy didn’t exist, then you would have invented one. Goodbye.”

She didn’t hear Karen’s retort. It was too quiet.

*****

Elinor felt proud of herself for the final response to Karen, but it now meant that the work environment became a place of cold hostility, rather than a place she liked to serve in. She broke the news to Tina and Peter, who both agreed adamantly with her that it wasn’t her fault, that she was right – Karen was creating an enemy out of her, probably because of jealously.

“I admit I’m jealous of you as well,” Tina said, “But that’s normal. We always want to have something better. Like that awesome red truck you once had.”

“I still have that truck somewhere,” Elinor admitted with a smile, as she talked to her friend on the phone. She was now sprawled out in the studio, having gone there straight after work, not wanting to go back to her apartment with the nearly empty fridge and the moldy pieces of cheese that she kept meaning to get around to and discard. She planned to get around to it… eventually.

Her apartment had also been accumulating a fair amount of dust from neglect of her household chores. It just didn’t feel worth the time, when she could go to a fantastically designed studio, that got cleaned everyday so she didn’t have to lift a finger, and sleeping in the plush four-poster bed felt more rewarding than sleeping on her lumpy double mattress, or having a shower in a bathroom where the shower unit consisted of a shower hose attached to the wall, a pane of glass separating the shower area from the sink, but with the toilet angled awkwardly so that the lid or seat would always be wet after she had had a shower.

It also suffered from bad design, since she used a window scraper to push back excess water after a shower to prevent it flooding the apartment.

The bathroom in the studio resembled pure luxury. A walk-in shower room, and the opportunity to sit down and subject herself to a water back massage were two things she’d never had in life before, and two things she loved treating herself to.

She wished her mother and father were allowed to come over, along with Jordan and Greg, though she didn’t really speak much to them. The age difference had been enormous between them when they were born, and Amy had moved out a few years later. She knew Amy would love it and likely mess around with all the settings – including the shower radio. The kid would squeal in delight, her mother would gape at the expensive unit, probably Google it and exclaim the price out loud, and her father would examine the craftsmanship, oohing and aahing at appropriate intervals.

However, at this point in time, none of those close to her had any idea of the grander lifestyle she led just by writing in this studio. Elinor figured that if she couldn’t show it to them, then there was no point filling in the details of the amazing showers, the comfy, queen sized bed, and the expensive ornaments scattered about it. It would be reminiscent of her going “Look what I have, but you’re not allowed to see.”

Sure, she could take pictures, but again, that amounted to showing off. She didn’t want to make people jealous. She’d had enough of that behavior from Karen.

I really thought we were going to be friends.

The studio felt strangely quiet tonight, though of course, Elinor got plenty of time to herself. Kostya Vasilev still persisted in his creepy habit of dropping in without warning, despite having her number. He had the keys, the wealth, and likely the entire fu*king building, so Elinor didn’t think it a good idea to protest. She didn’t want to risk antagonizing the person who was helping her achieve something incredible – and making her realize that her dreams didn’t all have to be nightmares.

The stories of the band members lingered with her. It touched something deep within, to hear a fragment of a life that had suffered adversity, been chewed and spat out by the world, and yet had found the chance to thrive nonetheless.

Freya’s frank attitude to what others attributed as her madness made the woman feel saner than most people Elinor had met. She still didn’t fully understand DID, or how personality disorders really worked, but she did observe that Freya likely countered her mind’s tendency to slip by being as brutally honest as possible.

Freya and Tina would get on together, Elinor decided with a smile. Tina would give her that stereotypical black sass, and Freya would likely counter it with white girl sass, creating a friendship formed entirely by insulting one another.

Oscar still felt reserved, but Elinor sensed something strong and burning under his exterior. A just personality that would brook no more nonsense from the world. Darren, the unloved who found it after a long search, harsh and with crude humor at times, but still likable. Isaac, arguably the most handsome, but the one who hid in the shadows of the band, not using his looks to his genetic advantage, and Arina, who was a tiny hurricane of passion and inspiration, a clear driving force that completed the jigsaw of the group.

Out of all the lyrics Elinor had written, either out of the blue or by listening to a pre-constructed tune the band had composed, five had been approved. Kostya Vasilev wanted a total of fifteen songs completed and approved before releasing an album, and two singles selected of what would be the biggest crowd pleasers. He already had high hopes for the album, convinced that if they continued in the caliber of what they were performing, Fusion Chord would be sure to make them the new hot band. The members had even been preparing small autobiographies, or had a ghost writer interviewing them, so when they neared completion, they could seek official interviews with magazines, online sites and newspapers, and provide a ready-made description.

The name of the album caused some debate.

Isaac and Oscar wanted it simply to be named after their group, Stolen Heart. Arina wanted it named after their second song, Loveless. And when Freya had suggested calling it Still Dreams, it prompted a flurry of interest from the band members to have Elinor play the tune for them, as they had all heard from Kostya about the performance that made him select her – but not from Elinor herself.