I Do

                                                            *****

Frustrated could not even put a pin on what Josie was feeling after she left Ethan Beckett’s office. The only way she could describe how she was feeling was by recalling when she accidentally tucked her dress in her panties in the third grade. The way the kids had laughed at her. The humiliation and panic of knowing that there was really nothing she could do to remedy the situation… that was the same way she felt. She wished she could somehow go back in time and research Ethan Beckett a little deeper before she actually went in for that interview. She could not help but feel like she was in the wrong and had done something wrong. That was the only way she could explain just how badly that interview had gone.

She sat in her car for a long time wondering what to do next. She did not want to go back home. She had spent too much time in that apartment lately. She needed a change of scenery. She did not think she could be within the same four walls anymore. She was still trying to figure out her next move when her phone rang. She reached for it and a smile automatically appeared on her lips when she saw Dani’s name flashed across her screen.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey,” Dani said. “I want to say new personal assistant to Ethan Beckett but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”

“That’s probably a good call considering I didn’t get the job.”

“What? They don’t know what they lost.”

Josie’s smile grew wide.

“You are just saying that.”

“No, I know the kind of person you are, Josie. You are a hard worker and a great person all around. There are no two ways around it.”

“You are a charmer, young lady. You definitely have a way with words.”

“You want to do something together?” Dani asked. “Maybe go to the rock climbing wall or the ax-throwing place. You are really good at that.”

Josie shook her head.

“No, you have to work.”

“I could just blow this joint and come see you. I don’t really mind… it is just the same old sh*t in here.”

Josie laughed.

“No, one of us needs to keep bringing home the bacon.”

Dani sighed.

“I guess. So, what’s the plan?” she asked and Josie shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably just go to a coffee shop and check out the classifieds. I don’t think I can handle being indoors right now.”

“Cabin fever?” she asked and Josie sighed loudly.

“Yeah. I’ll just check out what people are hiring right now. There is bound to be something.”

“Well, you know I am here for you, right?” Dani asked.

“Oh, I know that now more than ever.”

“And stop worrying so much,” Dani said excitedly. “You will definitely get something soon enough.”

Josie did not know if she could believe her but she needed to keep the faith. If Dani believed in her that much, then there had to be something going right.

“Thanks, Dani.”

She hung up and started the engine. She strapped herself in and pulled out of the parking lot. Until she told Dani of her plans, she did not really know what she was going to do. She drove down the street and tried to figure out where she was going to spend the next few hours. She did not feel like driving half an hour away to get to a Starbucks but at the same time, she wanted a good cup of coffee. Hell, she craved for a well-brewed caffeinated drink. She was still wondering where she was going to get her caffeine fix when she saw a coffee shop by the side of the road. She had been to the coffee shop before and she actually like the ambiance. She could easily get a booth and get all the privacy she so needed as she sat there looking for her next job. Hopefully, not just a job but a place where she would continue to mold her career. She parked her car and grabbed her bag. She spotted a booth that she thought would be just right and then made her way there. She had just sat down when a waitress walked over to where she was.

“Good morning. Welcome to Cup O’Joe. What can I get you?”

“A coffee, black with cinnamon and keep them coming, please,” Josie said before the waitress walked off.

Josie took out her computer and powered it on before she went straight to all the job sites she knew. She was hopeful as she scrolled through the pages but she did not know just how things would get. Especially considering the stage she was at in her life. She was older now, which meant that she had more responsibilities. She had more expectations for her life and there was really nothing she could do to change the situation. She could not pretend that she did not have bills or just ignore reality. It had been a full hour later and yet she had not seen any prospects. She was either too qualified or the positions did not pay enough. She was beginning to think that she should maybe take a job as a rideshare driver. At least that way she could make ends meet, one way or the other. She took a sip of her coffee and sighed when she found out that she was just holding an empty cup.

“Wow, I blew through that fast,” she thought as she signaled the waitress to give her a refill.

She was beginning to think that she should just bite the bullet and sign up as a rideshare partner when her phone rang. She reached for it fast, hoping that it was a call about a job or something but instead it was Lucas. She did not know if she was disgusted or just downright annoyed that he would even try to reach out to her.

“No question about it. Ignore.”

She put the phone down and took a deep breath as she turned her attention to the screen but Lucas was relentless. He called back and she ignored it, again. And then he called again… and then again…and yet again….

She exhaled loudly as she looked at the phone. She knew that Lucas was not going to stop calling until she picked up.

“What do you want, Lucas?” she asked when she answered the phone.

“Wow, not even a ‘hello’?”

She shrugged.

“You are kind of getting me at a bad time, Lucas,” she said. “I’m kind of busy.”

“Okay, what’s going on, then? You know you can talk to me.”

She forced out a laugh.

“No, Lucas. I can’t talk to you. We don’t have that kind of relationship anymore, remember?”

“Where are you?” he asked. “I went by Rank Media to see you but they said that you don’t work there anymore.”

“Yeah, I resigned.”

“Really?” Lucas sounded surprised. “What finally made you walk away?”

Josie took a long, deep breath and began rubbing her temple.