Her Younger Millionaire

“Oh yeah. You took your cat ‘walking’ in a car?”

Aiden ignored that one.

“Stay here, I’ll go get the car.”

*****

Tina picked up the phone the next day at work and made a conference call.

“911,” she said.

“Where and when?” Hiro asked.

“Tonight. My place. Bring alcohol.”

“Got it,” Jennifer replied and they all hung up.

Tina was delayed at work speaking with a client but she managed to leave by six pm so she wasn’t surprised that when she got home, Hiro and Jennifer were already there; making themselves comfortable.

“We ordered pizza already.”

“Sweet. Gimme ten minutes while I jump in the shower then we can talk.”

Tina hurried off; she felt grimy and greasy and the story she needed to tell her best friends was long.

They’d met in grade school when Hiro transferred from Japan. He had his own style and Jennifer was attracted to him at once. So were other kids, but they were more interested in bullying the little Japanese boy. Jennifer was a little terrier like the Jack Russell cross she’d brought Tina, but she was tiny and the kids were many. Tina couldn’t stand back and watch them being bullied…the rest was history.

She emerged from the hot steam and wrapped herself in a terry cloth robe before joining her friends in the living room. Jennifer was fussing over Arnie while Hiro arranged hors d’oeuvres on a plate and poured glasses of wine. He looked up as she padded barefoot into the room.

“So…” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah so…” Tina replied flopping down on the couch, “I have a major potential problem slash situation and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Hiro came to curl up next to her, “Spill.”

Tina told them about Aiden and the whole passive aggressive lust thing they had going on.

“My main problem is, I have no idea what’s going on. What is this? Some kind of older woman fetish he has? Maybe he just wants a booty call? I mean I looked him up and this guy is a seriously big deal in the futures world. Hell, if my boss knew I was in some sort of situationship with him, he’d probably give me anything I wanted to get in the same room with him.”

“Is this a situationship? I don’t even know.”

“Do you want us to have the ‘what are your intentions’ talk with him?”

Tina thought about it for a moment, “Yeah I think so; don’t make it obvious that’s what you’re doing though.”

“We are on it,” Hiro said reaching for her phone and handing it to her. “Call him.”

“What? Now?”

“No time like the present,” Jennifer chimed in studying her nails.

*****

Aiden was at the shop with Dylan, Bruce, Alistair and Aileen. They were arguing over a game as Aiden tried to keep his mind off Tina and whatever it was they were having.

“Let me start this 5000 word God damn thesis on why you are an idiot by saying Fu*k You. Fu*k you. FU*K YOU. FUUUUU*K YOOOOU,” Aileen declared loudly, hand poking at Alistair’s chest.

Alistair replied with a finger flip that needed no translation.

“Okay kids,” Aiden was moved to intervene. “Enough with the insults; this is an intellectual discussion. Pass the controller.”

“People who carry the head canon that Bro would get child services called on him are dumb. People who think that someone would call child services on a fu*king NINJA WHO CUTS METEORS IN HALF are dumb. However. It’s really dumb to assume this, for the same reason people think “oh why don’t they call PETA down to the Pokémon world” BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EXIST. PETA in the Pokémon world would only get in the way of life

that people have there. And the thing is, this way of life is so different that it’s hard to explain how and why it is different. But the thing is, this isn’t a difficult game play thing, it’s a culture difference. The thing is, Pokémon (and ergo, home stuck) is a world, a real universe and with that comes an actual, real culture. I’d be like a Texan explaining why they have so many guns, or an Irishman explaining why they have so much beer, or a Japanese man explaining why he has so much technically-not p*rn. They just do,” Alistair pontificated earning knowing nods from Dylan and Bruce.

“Preach brother,” Aiden said moving the pieces on the Dualshock® 4 with ease even as he listened to the argument. Aiden was just waiting for Aileen and Alistair to realize they were in love and stop spitting at each other. Meanwhile, they made gaming that much more intense.

“I’ll break it down, starting with the basics explained in my own method. Let’s say we have a metroidvania set in a city with multiple playable characters. And let’s say, as a central game play mechanic in that game, we have paths only accessible via a double jump. Now, you’d say “Well that’s weird. I can’t get up these paths without the double-jump module. So, what, everyone in this city has to just ignore those paths?” WRONG. All the characters we played as could hop twice. It’s a safe enough bet to assume that anyone else could. And if it’s a PC that started without a double jump, then we can assume that he is supposed to have it, ergo, everyone is. And another thing, it’s not like they built these roads without it in mind.” Aileen said as Alistair nodded seemingly just waiting at the edge of his seat for the chance to cut in.

“Are we still talking gaming here or have we moved on to real life applications?” Bruce asked as he tried to kill Aiden onscreen.

“The thing is, this is a gaming abstraction in a world that has it in mind. It’s not like it’s new technology or something. This is a world built with double jumps in mind. In Dracula’s castle, everyone who is ACTUALLY meant to get around (i.e., Dracula, Death, Shaft) has double jumps or flight, and everyone who is not (i.e., random zombies who need to stay in place and guard, knights who need to remain in this pit to attack people thrown in the pit, the player character because he can’t get to Dracula) needs to NOT be able to get around. The construction of this castle is the best weapon to deter intruders, because all the enemies are easily fixed by swords.” Aileen said talking over him and inadvertently answering his question.

“So real life analogies then?” Dylan asked.

“Something like,” Aileen replied.

“The mathematical construct escapes me,” Alistair said.

“That’s because you’re a dumbass,” Aileen shot back.

Aiden’s phone rang, really loudly, breaking up the impeding altercation.

“’lo,” he said.

“…”

“What?”