Did you really think it was over? Young Mula, my child.
I am aware of these hoes, and their lack of credibility.
For I was not born on the dark night, of yesterday.
Last night, under the stars, our lord was indeed blowing up her phone.
But in vain, my children! In vain, as she ain’t have her ringer on, nor did she have it on the previous night.
Oh, my nigga, that hath the nerve.”
Sadie frowned, wondering if those words he was using could possibly be church approved.
“This bitch was more concerned with the values of money, rather than the heart of a gentleman.
Indeed she was also offered an inch. But her Gluttonous heart demanded nine.
But our lord, knew how the game did go.
And our lord was confident in his ability to change the weak of heart, and lo she was his by half time.
For he was, the shit.
Oh, my nigga, that hath the nerve.
Our lord was all about her. But she was all about the evil that was the birdman, and the most dreadful flamingos.
Our lord was filled with a deep sadness, for he had done everything.
But he could not find it in his heart to trust this individual hoe.
When a most wealthy nigga hath a deep desire toward you,
and your own nigga is incapable to protect or do anything for you,
You may abuse your right, to refrain from being loyal to the afore mentioned nigga.
Lo, these hoes were loyal to no-one, NO ONE!
Yes, my child. Let me look upon you.
Indeed our lord was truly a wealthy man.
Not in material possessions, but in value.
And in turn he cast his wealth down onto his broke bitch.
For he did not fuck, with broke bitches.
Our most gracious host, took a white girl under his wing. Despite the sin of silicone.
With his eyes closed, guided by the light, he took said white girl to Dubai.
Rolling up with St. Marley he was anointed by a herb of purest light.
Indeed our lord was, A rasta.
The white girl was converted to the light, and expressed her desire to partake in the herbal anointment.
And with our lords most quenching blood, she wished to fuck all the rappers.
Our lord reminded her of the most disloyal hoes, and continued on their exodus.
A black girl with a most cumbersome booty was the next student to our lords wisdom.
Upon discovering that she was indeed a bad bitch, our lord wanted to get to it right away.
They wondered together, to the Club of Gethsemane.
Our lord requested some bottles.
He took her by the hand, he knew that this bitch, did come with her man.
Holding his money in the air he proclaimed that this, was a no no girl.
“Come my child, and dance” he said.
Ciroc circulated our lord’s system,
For there was no telling exactly if he would fuck them. But he would indeed, diss them.
His blood was that of a most noble pimp, no relation nor did he chase them.
With garments of Dolce, LV and Hermes our lord told them, that these hoes were not loyal.
They have schooled many games in their sinful lives.
But our lord knew his duty.
He held out a hand, resting gently in it was a single lotus.
AND HE DENIED THE WEED.
DENIED THE BITCH.
For he had his own smoke.
Inform those most sinful bitches, to put their rings back on.
Our lord was unsure of the reason for all the frontin’
He offered to show her something, but he knew in his heart that she was indeed getting her cheat on.
It took a toll on our lord, as it was for nothin’.
He prayed silently on his knees,
these hoe’s aren’t loyal, father.
These hoes have not seen the light.
These sinners were a lost cause on our lord
He felt as though he was unable to bring salvation to their lives,For those hoes, were indeed, not loyal.
Now, my children. That concluded our Sermon for today. Let you sit silently and pray as we pass around the collection plate. And once again, Margaret will accompany our prayers with hymn No. 72: Gas Pedal. Thank you.
Sadie was speechless.
*****
“What was that?” Sadie asked her mother in law as they left the church.
“Shh,” Sarah replied as they came level with Pastor Mike.
“Ms. Alexander, I was pleased to see you in my service. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
Sadie just stared at him. Sarah stepped between them, holding a hand out to the Pastor.
“That was an unusual sermon you preached today Pastor. Very raw.”
Pastor Mike smiled, “It was meant to be. I’m sure you know about me; that I’m originally from the streets. Simply because I have become a servant of the lord doesn’t mean I should turn away from my authentic self. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Completely,” Sarah said with a smile. “You know your daughter and my grandson have developed a close friendship. Would you and she like to come over for Sunday Brunch?”
Mike cut his eyes to Sadie to see how she was taking the invite but Sadie was busy scanning the crowd for Jaden so he shrugged and agreed with a smile.
“We would love to,” he said just in time for Sadie to tune back in to the conversation. She opened her mouth to protest but it was already too late.